Lots of favoritism, on all forums.

[differentlonelygirl]

I'm not complaining, I see it every time I come on here. Sorry, just saying... That's the reality, even on here there's no guarantee of being heard.

 

[TheRealCallie]

You've been making a lot of not so great comments about forums lately. I'm sensing you have some kind of problem, but not really sure what it is. Would you care to expand on what it might be?

 

[Cavey]

We were all new here at some point and it was the same for all of us. It took me around 6 months before I started to feel completely at ease here, but a lot of people leave before they've even made an effort.

 

[jaguarundi]

I'm not complaining, I see it every time I come on here. Sorry, just saying... That's the reality, even on here there's no guarantee of being heard.

Actually it does sound a bit like you are complaining.

So, what do you want? Have you asked for exactly what you want?

Do you know what you want from ALL? What do you really and truly want us to hear, that we aren't hearing from you?

Tell us your story, share it. Share yourself. Standing on the sidelines and criticising isn't going to help you, not anywhere, I'm afraid. Regard ALL as your chance to join in.

 

[Tiina63]

I can't say that I have noticed any favouritism. Maybe some threads get more responses because they bring up things which more people can relate to or have experienced themselves.

 

[VanillaCreme]

What bit of favoritism do you see? If you have any problems, please feel free to message me.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I'm not complaining, I see it every time I come on here. Sorry, just saying... That's the reality, even on here there's no guarantee of being heard.

I see it too but I don't think it's a problem. Some people have been here a long time and they have become friendly. So some banter / flirting is bound to happen.

 

[tc00]

Maybe she means sometimes one can post and no one really acknowledges the content of the post, which can be frustrating to people that are going through hard times and feeling depressed and alone. It happens on forums of all kinds, but I think when people are really on edge and have no one it can make it much worse and make people more sensitive about it too. I used to post on a more general type of forum that had many subsections, that's how I felt there (as it wasn't a real friendly place even after years of being there), just like you post your thoughts to yourself all most. I used to type out posts and then not post them as I figured no one cared or even acknowledges ya anyway, so why bother. This forum isn't like that one, but I understand feeling the need to be heard and understood, in the middle of the night alone, a forum is sometimes ones last refuge for another person. Of course I wish I had someone that knew me well, understood me, and cared enough to be around in the bad times as well as the more OK times. But online or offline it takes time to make friends. I think rejection can make one pull back and not try as hard to make friends if hurt a lot before, even if ya really want to have new friends. I've gotten more that way myself, maybe because I was always let down by others, more of the giver and I feel so tired and hopeless now. Years ago I was on the Yahoo chat. I met a few people back then in the depression chat rooms (there were a few decent folks among the bots and the trolls) that I knew for several years, spoke on the phone and they knew my story and I knew theirs. But it's funny how people disappear.

 

[Mouse]

I'm unaware of favouritism anywhere on the forum, and not when I was here three years ago, either. ALL has a happy atmosphere which is lovely and welcoming. The members encourage one another, too. I like that.

I am, however, a little concerned about your remark, 'Forums are so fake. That's the problem' (here: #37295) and politely ask why you feel this way.

It would be helpful if you could share more about yourself, as that would help us understand you more.

I hope you will stay, and better still, thaw a little.

Anna Mouse

 

[SophiaGrace]

You've been making a lot of not so great comments about forums lately. I'm sensing you have some kind of problem, but not really sure what it is. Would you care to expand on what it might be?

She feels ignored. It happens, especially to people who are lonely.

 

[ringwood]

I'm not complaining, I see it every time I come on here. Sorry, just saying... That's the reality, even on here there's no guarantee of being heard.

I see it too but I don't think it's a problem. Some people have been here a long time and they have become friendly. So some banter / flirting is bound to happen.

This ^ There is definitely favoritism here...if that's what you want to call it. Really, it's moreso a certain comfort level between people, a tendency to comment more often on certain topics/postings especially between some of the people here who know each other well. That said, those people didn't start off that way here - once upon a time, they were strangers too and through posting and being active on this site they made friends. You can't expect to go on any forum and not see the same thing - people become friends, buddies, confidantes, and there's always an easy banter between them.

I also agree with SophiaGrace - the original poster is probably feeling lonely and left out, hence the comments.

@ differentlonelygirl - put yourself out there a little, comment more, get involved and maybe you will feel a little different about things here. Good luck.

 

[differentlonelygirl]

I'm not going to explain anything. You either understand or you don't. And most of you get it for the most part.

People aren't nice, there's another HONEST remark for everyone...

Forums are fake literally means it's fake, offline, it's not real... Don't twist my words around

 

[Mouse]

I'm not going to explain anything. You either understand or you don't. And most of you get it for the most part.

People aren't nice, there's another HONEST remark for everyone...

Forums are fake literally means it's fake, offline, it's not real... Don't twist my words around

I am not twisting your words around. I was simply quoting the exact words you said. And I would like a little more civility from you, please. Thank you.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I'm not going to explain anything. You either understand or you don't. And most of you get it for the most part.

People aren't nice, there's another HONEST remark for everyone...

Forums are fake literally means it's fake, offline, it's not real... Don't twist my words around

Well, if you won't even bother to expand on what you mean, then I don't see how you can get what you want. Although, on the other hand, you seem to want a whole hell of a lot, so maybe what you want isn't that realistic, IMO.
Most of your posts seem to be either rude or insulting. This is a public internet forum. You get what you want from it, and part of what you get comes from what you give.

I have made many good friends here. It's entirely real, you just have to let it be. As for people twisting your words, I don't see it happening here, but that's kind of on you, since people are trying to help/understand and you don't seem to want to let them. It's not always as simple as either you do or don't understand. Every single person in this thread and others are speculating about what you feel. We can't KNOW exactly what it's like from vague posts where you don't give details or more specific thoughts because we can't read minds.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Okay I give up.

 

[differentlonelygirl]

I don't care if you think I have a attitude reread the replies and understand, then you'll see what I mean. If you don't chances are, you never can.

And at this point I can't be bothered to stick around if people can't be different on a forum. There's not many open minded views, in my opinion.. And i think too much to stick aaround. Just makes me feel lonelier.

Don't bother telling me to open up, it's nice but it's not going to be justified with all this favoritism to begin with, and people won't change. Whether it's forum or real life.

People are not nice enough to understand understand. Majority of folks just view the threads to begin with..

 

[ringwood]

I don't care if you think I have a attitude reread the replies and understand, then you'll see what I mean. If you don't chances are, you never can.

And at this point I can't be bothered to stick around if people can't be different on a forum. There's not many open minded views, in my opinion.. And i think too much to stick aaround. Just makes me feel lonelier.

Don't bother telling me to open up, it's nice but it's not going to be justified with all this favoritism to begin with, and people won't change. Whether it's forum or real life.

People are not nice enough to understand understand. Majority of folks just view the threads to begin with..

*shrugs shoulders* I think you've already made up your mind about ALL (and seemingly all forums), so not quite sure why you even posted about the favouritism here. We have all tried to explain and suggest some ideas that might make you feel a little more welcome and included, but you have put up a wall. Not sure why, guess that is your business. Too bad on your part, there are some really nice people here.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I don't care if you think I have a attitude reread the replies and understand, then you'll see what I mean. If you don't chances are, you never can.

I really don't think we're the ones that have to reread the replies here.

And at this point I can't be bothered to stick around if people can't be different on a forum. There's not many open minded views, in my opinion.. And i think too much to stick aaround. Just makes me feel lonelier.

I'm not sure what you are going on about being different. EVERYONE is different. Not a one of us is the same as the next person. We've all grown up in different ways, taught different values, believe different things. We are ALL different.
Seems to me that you want to fit in, yet you are scared. That you might be rejected or something. You are pushing people away who are TRYING to understand you and help you. That's your choice, but the fault doesn't lie anywhere but with you.

Don't bother telling me to open up, it's nice but it's not going to be justified with all this favoritism to begin with, and people won't change. Whether it's forum or real life.

There you go with the favoritism again. Perhaps you could be more clear because it seems to me that you have had a ton of replies in the last few days and you are throwing every single one of them to the wind.

People are not nice enough to understand understand. Majority of folks just view the threads to begin with..

No one can understand if you don't let them, if you don't give them the opportunity, if you don't stop being so vague and cold-shouldered.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I don't care if you think I have a attitude reread the replies and understand, then you'll see what I mean. If you don't chances are, you never can.

And at this point I can't be bothered to stick around if people can't be different on a forum. There's not many open minded views, in my opinion.. And i think too much to stick aaround. Just makes me feel lonelier.

Don't bother telling me to open up, it's nice but it's not going to be justified with all this favoritism to begin with, and people won't change. Whether it's forum or real life.

People are not nice enough to understand understand. Majority of folks just view the threads to begin with..

You think too much huh. I've been told that I do that too. I wonder what you are thinking about. But, you've already said that it's not worth it to you to open up, so I won't press.

And yes, I am a culprit of looking at threads and not knowing what exactly to say in them. So, I don't say anything. or I become distracted and I forget to respond. Bad Sophia. Bad. :club:

Oh and don't forget all the bots and people that haven't registered that like to look at threads and not respond. They are at fault for a lot of the thread view numbers you see.

 

[Darrell_Licht]

No attention can be better than bad attention. If people ignore you, it isn't necessarily your fault or that you're a bad person. Most people don't know how to respond to negative emotions (i'm suspecting that's one aspect of your contribution to a forum of this nature) some not very well at all.

A dialog takes time and strategy. I have patience for neither. I also tend to withdraw a lot. I understand when people choose to ignore me.

I do notice a few regulars formed a bond of sorts. It is kind of awkward at times. lol