deliveryguy.
Active member
So I've fallen in love. Badly.
About a year ago I was teamed up with a girl at work in order to show her the ropes on one of our routes. Being introverted, shy and what not the week I was going to spend with her scared me half to death. Regardless, I managed to do fine, we talked alot about everything and nothing and I felt proud of myself for having made a new acquaintance.
The months tarted going by and we started talking and hanging out more and more. Only at work, though.
FYI: Even before i started to get to know her (the week i spent with her showing her the ropes and what not), she had fallen for and moved in with another dude working there. So she wasn't available. Not a problem, she was nothing more to me than a friend.
However, as the months started rolling by, and we talked more I started to feel something. I soon had a huge crush on her. She started confiding in me and telling me about her problems with her boyfriend, and let me tell you, they were in trouble. However he soon proposed and she accepted. She told me at work and i was devastated. I pretended to be happy for her of course.
More time went by and we continued on as friends. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore, so I came out and asked her: do you love him? She eventually answered that she didn't know what she did, which is basically a "no, i don't really love him". She then cracked and proceeded to tell me she had feelings for me as I had for her. At this point we became more than friends, and they started drifting further apart.
It should be noted that her boyfriend had been extremely jelous of me long before anything happened between us, and that i had started many fights between them.
More time.. we eventually got together and it was apparent that this was more than we could just brush off.
They started fighting more and more, and we became closer and closer.
Skipping forwards a bit (even the part where he had to be commited for depression, anxiety and general hopelessness, poor guy), she has now broken the engagement, moved out and is living with her parents. She's 23 years old. He's 30, has a kid and is divorced. He is not the right guy for her, but she can't really see it.
At this point in time, the present, she is debating whether or not to go with me, or back to him. At this point I've also managed to fall deeply in love with her, and I've made that very clear. She is extremely confused, he wants to kick the living honeysuckle out of me, all 3 are suffering majorly at this point. When he is with her and I call, he breaks down in a panic/anxiety attack. The last time it happened while they were at the mall. She claims not to be intimate with him anymore, but she is with me. I do not know if this is true for sure.
When she wakes up in bed beside me and he calls asking about her, she has no hesitation to lie to him about it WHILE lying next to me.
He keeps asking, she denies having slept with me. She told him we had kissed, he nearly died on the spot. IF she goes back, she is not going to tell him about us sleeping together. I tell her starting back up based on a lie is a bad idea.
This man is a walking problem of alcoholism, depression, anxiety, fear, anger and everything else that comes a long. I feel for the dude, but he needs to patch himself up, not drag her down with him. He tempts her with the idea of kids, a house and whatever else and he is basically desperate. He manipulates her but she doesn't really see it.
In one week they, and her family, are going on a 4 week vacation together. This was planned almost a year ago. She says this is what she needs to make up her mind. She won't say she loves me. She won't say she loves him. When she has been with him, she calls/msgs me about it. She misses me, and all she can say is she cares for me, so, so, so much! I think deep down she loves me, but in her situation i get not saying it. We can hold eachother for hours on end and being with her feels more right than anything.
I do not know what to do. I've told her, as has he, that after the vacation it's time to make a choice. Going on like this much longer will break me, and I have to get out no matter how hard it is. Tonight she's having dinner with him. It feels like im being kicked in the stomach to a point where i loose my breath. I cannot stand upright. I cannot function. She is all i think about, all day, everyday. She is what I dream about. I want her, but she is breaking my heart and taking me apart doing this. Physically and mentally I am drained at this point. Every day is a struggle and it gets harder by the minute.
The 4 weeks she'll be away with him I will be completely helpless and desperate. I do not know what to do.
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there is soooooooo much stuff i've left out here.. i couldn't ever manage to write it all down
About a year ago I was teamed up with a girl at work in order to show her the ropes on one of our routes. Being introverted, shy and what not the week I was going to spend with her scared me half to death. Regardless, I managed to do fine, we talked alot about everything and nothing and I felt proud of myself for having made a new acquaintance.
The months tarted going by and we started talking and hanging out more and more. Only at work, though.
FYI: Even before i started to get to know her (the week i spent with her showing her the ropes and what not), she had fallen for and moved in with another dude working there. So she wasn't available. Not a problem, she was nothing more to me than a friend.
However, as the months started rolling by, and we talked more I started to feel something. I soon had a huge crush on her. She started confiding in me and telling me about her problems with her boyfriend, and let me tell you, they were in trouble. However he soon proposed and she accepted. She told me at work and i was devastated. I pretended to be happy for her of course.
More time went by and we continued on as friends. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore, so I came out and asked her: do you love him? She eventually answered that she didn't know what she did, which is basically a "no, i don't really love him". She then cracked and proceeded to tell me she had feelings for me as I had for her. At this point we became more than friends, and they started drifting further apart.
It should be noted that her boyfriend had been extremely jelous of me long before anything happened between us, and that i had started many fights between them.
More time.. we eventually got together and it was apparent that this was more than we could just brush off.
They started fighting more and more, and we became closer and closer.
Skipping forwards a bit (even the part where he had to be commited for depression, anxiety and general hopelessness, poor guy), she has now broken the engagement, moved out and is living with her parents. She's 23 years old. He's 30, has a kid and is divorced. He is not the right guy for her, but she can't really see it.
At this point in time, the present, she is debating whether or not to go with me, or back to him. At this point I've also managed to fall deeply in love with her, and I've made that very clear. She is extremely confused, he wants to kick the living honeysuckle out of me, all 3 are suffering majorly at this point. When he is with her and I call, he breaks down in a panic/anxiety attack. The last time it happened while they were at the mall. She claims not to be intimate with him anymore, but she is with me. I do not know if this is true for sure.
When she wakes up in bed beside me and he calls asking about her, she has no hesitation to lie to him about it WHILE lying next to me.
He keeps asking, she denies having slept with me. She told him we had kissed, he nearly died on the spot. IF she goes back, she is not going to tell him about us sleeping together. I tell her starting back up based on a lie is a bad idea.
This man is a walking problem of alcoholism, depression, anxiety, fear, anger and everything else that comes a long. I feel for the dude, but he needs to patch himself up, not drag her down with him. He tempts her with the idea of kids, a house and whatever else and he is basically desperate. He manipulates her but she doesn't really see it.
In one week they, and her family, are going on a 4 week vacation together. This was planned almost a year ago. She says this is what she needs to make up her mind. She won't say she loves me. She won't say she loves him. When she has been with him, she calls/msgs me about it. She misses me, and all she can say is she cares for me, so, so, so much! I think deep down she loves me, but in her situation i get not saying it. We can hold eachother for hours on end and being with her feels more right than anything.
I do not know what to do. I've told her, as has he, that after the vacation it's time to make a choice. Going on like this much longer will break me, and I have to get out no matter how hard it is. Tonight she's having dinner with him. It feels like im being kicked in the stomach to a point where i loose my breath. I cannot stand upright. I cannot function. She is all i think about, all day, everyday. She is what I dream about. I want her, but she is breaking my heart and taking me apart doing this. Physically and mentally I am drained at this point. Every day is a struggle and it gets harder by the minute.
The 4 weeks she'll be away with him I will be completely helpless and desperate. I do not know what to do.
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there is soooooooo much stuff i've left out here.. i couldn't ever manage to write it all down
