D
Desolation
Guest
It's my birthday today, and like all my birthday's I'm not planning to do anything. However this year, an old friend has invited me to his birthday party (maybe out of pity). Of course at first this cheered me up and lifted me somewhat out of my depression. I have NEVER been invited to a party in my life so I was excited about that.
However, its seems that my low self-esteem/shyness is getting me depressed again. I'm no good at meeting new people and the very thought makes me nervous. Now I seem to be sliding back into depression. I realised last night that apart from the friend who invited me, there is exactly one other friend who be there. That thought alone depresses me. I've also been having "Obsessive, Worrying and Negative Thoughts" all the time about this which only makes it worse. I know some "acquaintances" who are going but they have their own friends.
Why can't I be happy at this opportunity to meet new people? Why am I so afraid of meeting new people? I wish I new the answers to these questions. Maybe my only hope is to get completely drunk so I forget about it.
However, its seems that my low self-esteem/shyness is getting me depressed again. I'm no good at meeting new people and the very thought makes me nervous. Now I seem to be sliding back into depression. I realised last night that apart from the friend who invited me, there is exactly one other friend who be there. That thought alone depresses me. I've also been having "Obsessive, Worrying and Negative Thoughts" all the time about this which only makes it worse. I know some "acquaintances" who are going but they have their own friends.
Why can't I be happy at this opportunity to meet new people? Why am I so afraid of meeting new people? I wish I new the answers to these questions. Maybe my only hope is to get completely drunk so I forget about it.