Maybe those people aren't asses/jerks/evil. They just don't like you. Accept that.

[synapse]

I have known that people dislike me for years. And to those who say, "oh, you don't know they dislike you. etc." Wrong. Time after time again, my suspicions have been proven to be true. The way I see it they aren't going to like me no matter what, so I just don't give a honeysuckle anymore. It's not worth worrying about. My only hope is eventually I'll meet somebody who does like me. Even if it was one person, that is all that I hope for.

To OP, I'd say just say to hell with them all. Yes, accept that this is the way it is, because it is so. Granted yes you have to live and work around these people, but you can also return the favor of their pathetic friend circles and shut them out of yours. Best you can hope for is coming across that one or two people who actually like you for who you are.

Otherwise, foreveralone. Cheers.

 

[beans]

[/quote]



not to big a deal but it says something about a person and their attitude.


[/quote]

Yep, it does. And with these kind of people, I won't waste my time with.

 

[VanillaCreme]

how do you know you dont like a book you know nothing about.
unless you dont like books.
how do you know you dont like someone you dont know unless you dont like people you dont know.

not to big a deal but it says something about a person and their attitude.

I don't know. I never said I would or wouldn't. I might love a person I don't know yet. It's happened to me even. The guy I'm with now, I didn't like him at first. But I ended up loving him. But that doesn't mean I'm a horrible person for not liking him at first.

It does say something about their attitude, but attitudes can change.

 

[IgnoredOne]

how do you know you dont like a book you know nothing about.
unless you dont like books.
how do you know you dont like someone you dont know unless you dont like people you dont know.

not to big a deal but it says something about a person and their attitude.

It says that they might be judgmental and perhaps a bit foolish, but hardly makes them a bad person.

I'm likely to buy a package of cookies because the packaging looked good and avoid buying the package of cookies that looks like it was just wrapped together with brown paper; truth is that the latter package of cookies might taste a lot better.

That makes my judgment(based on sight and appearance) flawed, but does not mean that I am morally failing.

 

[Pheenix]

^ ••

 

[SophiaGrace]

^ ••

What does that mean?

 

[paulo]

how do you know you dont like a book you know nothing about.
unless you dont like books.
how do you know you dont like someone you dont know unless you dont like people you dont know.

not to big a deal but it says something about a person and their attitude.

It says that they might be judgmental and perhaps a bit foolish, but hardly makes them a bad person.

I'm likely to buy a package of cookies because the packaging looked good and avoid buying the package of cookies that looks like it was just wrapped together with brown paper; truth is that the latter package of cookies might taste a lot better.

That makes my judgment(based on sight and appearance) flawed, but does not mean that I am morally failing.

i didnt mean it makes you a bad person or that your wrong for thinking so even.

just saying if i walk up so someone ive never seen before, know nothing about and say 'I dont like you' id consider myself to be a bit of an ass.
or at least behaving like one.
even if i would just think it i would think twice about why.

i think i need a reason not to like someone.
and i need a reason to like someone.
with no reasons i neither like or dislike.

 

[VanillaCreme]

That's the point though. People don't need any reason to dislike someone. That's their choice.

 

[paulo]

That's the point though. People don't need any reason to dislike someone. That's their choice.

haha ok ..
im totally willing to accept that if it is so.

i just dont understand it.
how can i have feelings good or bad for something i dont know.
but that could just be me though.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I meet new people on a daily basis and have to make quick decisions about them. I've had people come in that, as I like to call it, "made my spider sense tingle". There was just something about them that screamed at me, "don't rent to this guy". Now most of the time my gut was right, they were a bad customer. A few times I've been wrong and they were a very good customer. My mom is usually a very good judge of character, if she doesn't like someone she's usually right not to. I don't think it makes you a bad person, not giving them a chance does in my opinion. Even when I get people in my gut says no to, I still give them the benefit of the doubt, and just wait for the shoe to drop.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I don't understand it either. And I'm not like that myself. The only reason why I didn't particularly care for my guy at first was because I didn't know him, and he just seemed like an ignorant ass to me. Other than that, I hadn't even talked to him that much.

 

[IgnoredOne]

haha ok ..
im totally willing to accept that if it is so.

Its a 'gut' emotional thing. Being autistic, you might be much more logical and capable of handling that on a completely rational level, but most people have to make certain snap judgments - the reasons usually having something to do with the person's appearance, bearing, dishelvement, initial personality, preconceptions, etc, etc.

 

[paulo]

haha ok ..
im totally willing to accept that if it is so.

Its a 'gut' emotional thing. Being autistic, you might be much more logical and capable of handling that on a completely rational level, but most people have to make certain snap judgments - the reasons usually having something to do with the person's appearance, bearing, dishelvement, initial personality, preconceptions, etc, etc.

hehe yeah verry interesting indead.
not something i realy thought about before.
someday i will understand you "normal" people

 

[IgnoredOne]

hehe yeah verry interesting indead.
not something i realy thought about before.
someday i will understand you "normal" people

Out of curiousity, do you have a hard time deciding what to eat? I've heard that some individuals who have reduced emotional centers(this was tested on accident victims who required lobotomies) who have to find a logical reason to eat what they do, and thus have a hard time deciding. Simple snap decisions go beyond them.

 

[paulo]

Out of curiousity, do you have a hard time deciding what to eat? I've heard that some individuals who have reduced emotional centers(this was tested on accident victims who required lobotomies) who have to find a logical reason to eat what they do, and thus have a hard time deciding. Simple snap decisions go beyond them.

hehe funny, i have kinda like a menu "planned" for the week and thats pretty much what i stick to.
not as much planned as that i found food i didnt mind eating and just stuck with it. ( i dont really like to eat.)
this way i dont have to make a fast decision of what to eat.
if i had to it prob wouldnt be verry snappy id be thinking about it all day.
my food shopping is pretty much the same every week.
i wouldnt mind eating the same thing every day and probebly would if it wasnt unhealthy.

 

[Bloodelf343]

What do you do if it seems like everyone acts that way towards you?
People don't like me. I didnt do anything to them, it hurts too.

---

And spending day and night wondering what exactly i did to make them not like me. its like what is wrong with me? what is so repulsive about me that you dont like me.

 

[IgnoredOne]

What do you do if it seems like everyone acts that way towards you?
People don't like me. I didnt do anything to them, it hurts too.

---

And spending day and night wondering what exactly i did to make them not like me. its like what is wrong with me? what is so repulsive about me that you dont like me.

---

Well, you'll need more context. But you should not be overtly obsessed with what other people think - people may not like you for a host of reasons, primarily personal and often irrational.

 

[Luna]

I appreciate the responses.

The only comment I have is that although I understand that not everyone is going to like me - and some people will go as far to dislike me without any reason...I just don't know if anyone here has experienced to the strong extent that I have and understands where I'm coming from. The occasional occurrence is manageable, but this is something that has gone back to even to Kindergarten years. For my early school years - I begged my teachers to arrange for me to have my classmates play with me...since they would refuse to include me when I went on my own.
Already at a young age I learnt that I was not wanted.
I've grown as a person...I've made major improvements - and again; the negative reinforcement continues.
It's not an "once in a while" type of situation where it can be easily shrugged off.
From the actions of others around me...I am made aware that my presence is unwanted.

Don't get me wrong...I do my best to "get over it" and "not care what people think" but the fact that it's thrown into my face on a regular basis and only keeps adding up doesn't make it any more enjoyable. I wish I could simply say "Ahh. No big deal. Tomorrow will be a better day. "; but then tomorrow comes and the same ******* thing happens.

What I do consider progress through is that because I have cried and tormented myself over everyone's unexplained dislike/ hate/ negativity towards me for so long - it has numbed me to some extent - and I haven't been able to cry over this even if I wanted to.
I used to be really excited and happy over opportunities to meet new people or potentially make friends; but with my track record - I simply now go through the motions. I do it because I know it's good for me - but it's almost as if the spirit in me that enjoyed to be around people has already died.

 

[SophiaGrace]

If it has died it is because it was beaten into a death

 

[beans]

I do it because I know it's good for me - but it's almost as if the spirit in me that enjoyed to be around people has already died.

Just wanted to let you know that I understand where you're coming from completely.

But hey, at least you have a bf. So you *are* desired and wanted by someone, my dear.