meaningless/casual sex

[cool_breeze]

What do you guys think about it?

I tend to be a very sexual person, but not like that. I like to really get to know someone emotionally, intellectually, sexually. I have a hard time finding good romance and sex partners. This is probably the main thing that makes me feel lonely. It's a strange problem. I'm taller than 95% of men, and get compliments on my looks by women and even by men, and get told I have a good personality too. I have done extensive dating and it takes me quite some time to find a special person.

Casual sex seems to make me feel lonely. I haven't really done it, just the concept of it. A lot of people treat sex like it's shaking hands these days and just go home with someone every now and then. I seem to be more interested in very sexual relationships with romance which is much, much different than awkwardly "hooking up." When I hear about all this casual sex from my friends or from girls I'm talking to it makes me feel lonely, though I know that probably would not really replace the romance that I crave. It also makes me sad if I find out a girl I like gives her body away so easily.

So I don't really know where I am going with this. I am a very sexual person and also seem to be a true romantic. It can take me a long time to find a special woman though and I don't seem to like casual sex so in the meantime it can be lonely. Guess that's it for now. I don't know if there's something I can change about this. Maybe I'll write more later...

 

[condemnedsoul666]

My cousin used to have a 'fresia buddy' and they don't mind it, it just depends on your preferences.

 

[rosebud]

I can understand both sides. When you're young you want to have as much sex as possible. When you get older and mellow down you want to be more romantic with that special someone. There are romantic young people who find a hard time in todays world like yourself, and I guess me too. It's interesting that there's a hypocritical view on casual sex. If a man does it he's THE MAN, but if a woman does it, she's a fvcking whore. Double standards!

 

[Rolo]

me, im on the complete other end of the spectrum of this casual sex lark- I identify as asexual so my time is spent looking for the emotional and intellectual sides of relationships, not the sexual. This is what makes me feel lonley sometimes- its pretty hard to get anything meaningful when the other person knows its not going to lead to the s word!

Im not too fond of all this casual sex, i mean its their choice to do such stuff but I cant help but wonder what is so great about it and why they do it. All i have to say is dont give up looking for someone that likes romance as well as the other stuff- there must be people out there like that! More than you thik probably

 

[condemnedsoul666]

TRIPLE STANDARDS!

 

[WishingWell]

I finally found you!

A man that actually thinks the way I do! I think it is wonderful that you prefer to be in a relationship to be intimate with someone.

Guys I have dated wanted sex on the first date. I think they are crazy! If I was going to sleep with everyone I went out with, I would be better off skipping the dinner or whatever, and become a Prostitute...I don't know how any man or woman can be so "loose" with their bodies.

 

[rosebud]

I don't know how any man or woman can be so "loose" with their bodies.

Having no self-respect helps I guess or just trying to make things more fun for them.

 

[WishingWell]

Yes, you have got it rosebud! NO SELF-RESPECT!

 

[jean-vic]

Not one for casual sex, myself. Sex is about more than that. It's an expression of trust and connection, opening your body to another. I don't like the way it's been cheapened. But, that is the accepted norm, now. People view it as so commonplace it is often met with disbelief when others don't behave that way. For example, after a girl at a nightclub made advances on me and I refused on the basis that I knew nothing about her, a mate of mine said, "You need to start acting like a man." Funny, cos I thought I was acting like a gentleman.

 

[Rolo]

Not one for casual sex, myself. Sex is about more than that. It's an expression of trust and connection, opening your body to another. I don't like the way it's been cheapened. But, that is the accepted norm, now. People view it as so commonplace it is often met with disbelief when others don't behave that way. For example, after a girl at a nightclub made advances on me and I refused on the basis that I knew nothing about her, a mate of mine said, "You need to start acting like a man." Funny, cos I thought I was acting like a gentleman.

Too true. Its pretty anoying that everything has become so sexualised and that sex is seen as a daily occurance and nothing special, whereas in the past it was reserved until the right person came a long. Weird! blame alcohol! I do haha its like the only thing that can take the thought of catching the clap out of someones mind!

 

[ShybutHi]

I am the same and I dont ever go out looking for someone to hook up with for sex. There is so much more to sex than just the physical side of things and I believe there should be a bond between the couple before having sex. It is so much more meaningful if it is with someone you have a bond with, someone you know likes you for your personality and not just your body.

This is probably partially why I am still a virgin at 24 but it doesnt bother me really and I dont think it should. Just to add aswell I am not religious or waiting for marriage its just personal preference.

Nice to see a few other people have the same view. Pretty much all of my friends are the opposite when it comes to this.

I remember actually sitting in a park and this random guy came up to a small group of us and started chatting about things to us... somehow the subject came up and this random guy asked us all individually if we were virgin's which ofcourse I said yes and he said I should go to a brothel. Some people just dont get it. lol

 

[Rolo]

nothing wrong with being a virgin at any age. Just society now has now put a large importance on it and removed its significance IMO.
Im 20, and one of the few people from my high school class that hasnt fathered a child yet-somehow that means im the weird one. hmm..

your right, some people just dont get it! xD

 

[condemnedsoul666]

Hey i'm a virgin and i plan on waiting for someone i love, but it shouldn't matter if some people wanna have casual sex.


btw ShybutHi so this random guy comes and ends up talking to you about sex?
What a creep.

 

[jean-vic]

Doesn't matter how old you are when you first lose your virginity. 21 and still a virgin. However, we also still have use of our god given appendages, though, unlike the guy who saw his dissolve because he dipped it one too many times.

 

[condemnedsoul666]

double post! using quick reply?

 

[PurpleDays]

I'm pretty liberal when it comes to it.

I personally don't mind if a person sleeps with 0 or 1000 people, as long as they're not in a relationship already, don't use it to hurt and don't spread anything naaaasty.

I have done so in the past, and it filled a void and created some stories to laugh about with my friends, but I don't think anything compares to the feeling of waking up next to someone you care about, smiling at them, even though their hair is all sticking up and they have morning breath, and just giving them a good, hard, morning how-do-you-do.

Sex is beautiful. It gives fuel to life. It creates life, ffs!

I'd die without it. Either that, or my vibrator would.

*shrug*

 

[Cathedral]

You know that the word "casual" is only two letters away from a word being synonymous with murder or homicide?

 

[PurpleDays]

So? 'Therapist' is 'the rapist' with one less space.

Moot point is moot.

 

[condemnedsoul666]

you can't spell slaughter without laughter.

 

[Cathedral]

So? 'Therapist' is 'the rapist' with one less space.

Moot point is moot.

Well, I guess I'm bitter towards casual sex and even more towards casual gaming. Casual is a casualty to all things meaningful.