Moody

[Alonewith2cats]

Do you ever find yourself feeling moody? I have days when I'm in a pretty good mood and other days when I crash right back into depression again.

The night before last night I had a nice phone conversation with my friend so I felt pretty good. Last night after I got home from work I was cooking dinner for myself and I got that gloomy, depressed feeling I often get in my empty apartment with just my 2 cats as the only other living souls besides me. So I decided I needed humor. I took out my collection of Threes Company episodes that I have on DVD. I put a disc in my blue-ray player and there was a problem. The blue-ray player shut itself off and the words "see you" were on the front and flashing. I was unable to turn the DVD player back on or even open it and get the disc out. There was nothing good on TV for me to watch. I threw a fit, starting punching my blue-ray player, cursing and crying uncontrollably and thinking to myself "What is this bull honeysuckle? I'm not allowed to be happy?" I changed the batteries in my remote control, still no success and from this point on for the rest of the night I could not stop crying. I did not pick up the phone and call anyone because I never call people when I'm in such a depressed state. I'm considerate enough not to dump my sadness on others. I was too depressed to study German, I haven't been motivated lately because I have to be in a good mood to do that.

This morning I called in sick to work because I haven't been getting enough sleep the last few nights and I'm down and it's cold and I just wasn't motivated to get up, take a shower, get dressed and go to work. I know this is not good. This is an occurrence and more than one occurrence in a 60 day period results in a verbal warning. So I have to be good for at least 60 days after today. I hope I don't get the flu since this depression can't be good for my immunity. I think I better call one of those counselors provided to me by the Employee Assistance Program.

Sorry this is long.

 

[Tiina63]

Yes, I get moody as well. And, like you did, when I am low and something goes wrong, I sometimes shout at inanimate objects when they break down and find myself crying on and off. Sometimes it scares me that I seem to have so much anger in me.
I hope that you soon feel better and that you manage to get an appointment with a counsellor.

 

[duff]

Yes, I get moody as well. And, like you did, when I am low and something goes wrong, I sometimes shout at inanimate objects when they break down and find myself crying on and off. Sometimes it scares me that I seem to have so much anger in me.
I hope that you soon feel better and that you manage to get an appointment with a counsellor.

i get ratty when things don't work like my internet or sky tv but I never cry (unless I'm watching a weepy film ! lol )

 

[Alonewith2cats]

i get ratty when things don't work like my internet or sky tv but I never cry (unless I'm watching a weepy film ! lol )

That isn't the point.

The tears are not because of the DVD player. They were because I was feeling sad to begin with and I couldn't have what would have made me feel better then, laughter from that famous 70s sitcom Threes Company. I had a similar experience on another night when I was feeling sad and lonely and wanted to call a friend to say hi but my phone wasn't working. So I cried too because I wasn't allowed to feel better. On both of these nights I was incapable of using the tools that would have worked to cheer me up if they had been working. That frustrates and upsets me.

 

[Saucer]

I know you have probably heard this before but professional help actually does work, atleast it did for me, with my similar problem atleast.

I used to have the frustration issues when something didnt do what I wanted it to, but instead of feeling sad and cry about it, I saw red and flew into a fit of fury... punched a hole in my bathroom door because I didn't twist the handle quite enough so it didn't open, broke a knuckle punching my monitor because of something silly, don't even remember what it did or didn't do.

I had not actually thought about it until I read this thread but, I haven't had that problem since I sought help from a professional.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Oh yeah gotta love those mood swings, never punched any of my electronic equipment though. But I have a friend that usually cheers me up when I chat with him, didn't work last time. Hate having bouts of sadness that just hit you out of nowhere.

 

[el Jay]

i get ratty when things don't work like my internet or sky tv but I never cry (unless I'm watching a weepy film ! lol )

That isn't the point.

The tears are not because of the DVD player. They were because I was feeling sad to begin with and I couldn't have what would have made me feel better then, laughter from that famous 70s sitcom Threes Company. I had a similar experience on another night when I was feeling sad and lonely and wanted to call a friend to say hi but my phone wasn't working. So I cried too because I wasn't allowed to feel better. On both of these nights I was incapable of using the tools that would have worked to cheer me up if they had been working. That frustrates and upsets me.

Ugh, I understand this far too well. I always had trouble dealing with frustration when I was younger and would get violent (with things, not people, unless we're talking about bullies). I had enough honeysuckle going wrong in and with my life when I was in school that any thing that went wrong outside of school ended up sending me into anger or depression. And that often came with the condemnation and ridicule of my parents and friends, for getting so mad or upset so easily at silly little things. Which only made me madder (and caused me to lash out at my family and friends, usually). A vicious cycle.

I never got help or anything for it, I just sort of mellowed out as I got older, especially once school ended and I no longer had to live in that kind of hell. But the after-effects are still with me, and often times a stupid little thing like an electronic device not working, or a friend cancelling/changing a plan, or just anything like that, really, will just send me into depression. Not major depression, but enough to wreck my mood for a day.

 

[Cucuboth]

Yep. Sometimes I can know, and feel, that my mood is going to change. Like a build up of frustration. Can really feel the dark moods coming in, like storm clouds. Not that I get violent or anything, although sometimes I do feel like smashing things, or screaming. When it is bad, there can be some self harm, and suicidal thoughts. But mostly I isolate myself in my room, even more than usual, and cry. A lot.

But sometimes it can happen quickly. I can be doing something I enjoy, and suddenly I'll loose all energy, all enthusiasm, all motivation for it. I'll get the feeling of everything being pointless, and that I'm useless at everything. But mostly, it will hit me how much I want to share whatever it is I was doing, with someone. And how tired I am of being lonely. Often, when my mood changes like this, I don't even feel that I have the energy to cry or feel frustrated. It's like walking in to a brick wall. Or maybe what a labotomy feels like.

And of course, there are the things or situations that can trigger a mood change ....