More depressed 😔

[MissBehave]

My depression issues has become worse the last 4 months or so.
I thought that when I left my abusive xbf and got my own place that it would become better. It has in a lot of ways but not regarding my depression. 
Lately I've been occupying myself with painting the new apartment. Now I only have 1 bedroom left to paint and I know that once that is done the issue of failing to distract myself is going to come again. I've basically held myself occupied with people or painting so I won't end up as a shivering and crying mess. It's exhausting. I'm so tired yet when I stop and take a break, I start to cry. 
The usual distractions that I have been using aren't effective anymore. I used to do coloring, watching series, reading, gaming or running as an escape before but it's failing to help me. 
Don't really know what to do now. 
Maybe I just have to wait for this dark period to get a little better. 

 

[nerdgrl]

I hear ya ..... since this COVID isolation started early last month, my depression has definitely gotten worse.

I"m not managing it very well either.  people are calling/msging me, but i keep isolating further ......

 

[TropicalStarfish]

:< Hope you cheer up a bit ^.^

 

[MissBehave]

Yeah I'm hoping it gets better. 
Kinda just waiting for that relief of breathing easier. 

I'm sorry you feel the same way nerdgrl. 
*hug for you*

 

[Finished]

...

You sound like you need some cheering up or at least some laughs.

I thought that when I left my abusive xbf and got my own place that it would become better. 

Hey. We should date because I wouldn't beat you that much! Ha! ha! Just kidding!

Lately I've been occupying myself with painting the new apartment. Now I only have 1 bedroom left to paint and I know that once that is done the issue of failing to distract myself is going to come again.

Perfect! My entire house needs to be repainted. Come on over! Ha! ha!

Don't really know what to do now. 

What are some very special things that you like to do or eat or whatever? Figure them out. Make a list and start enjoying one everyday. Then you'll always have something to look forward to. At night I think about how good breakfast is going to be. Then lunch. I get happy thoughts and it makes me smile. Do you like flowers. Buy some seeds and containers so you can't plant them when it finally warms up over there.

 

[Unix]

Arent you funny? And so positive that it almost seems fake

 

[Sci-Fi]

This is why I like to buy boxed sets of tv shows, and my brother always has to ask "why you buying that don't you have enough?" Now he's streaming shows online that he could have bought in the store and instead is using up data, lol.

 

[Twin11]

Arent you funny? And so positive that it almost seems fake

I beg to differ. It's often the pessimists, children, and people with enough baggage that they become 'fake' themselves. Projecting unto others and self-proclaiming themselves as being real and straight shooter when they are actually full of bs. Spread themselves and make more of themselves like wildfire. Accept positivity, care that someone actually cared. If you're broken or wounded, do it with watchful eyes if you don't believe it. Don't belittle it or deem it fake in haste! You don't know the guy for smack and yet, you judge with your bold views in haste and do it like a alpha male teenager in high school. I hope you don't spread your negativity and cyncism to others. Oh and, grow up!!

Butterfly :






And for good measure

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2zgh9GTscI


Listen to these with headphones for relief and burn some white sage or hold unto some Selenite. And identify if that crying is even yours or not. Because, it's not. It's agony of things in you that are being held back, intentionally via darkness. Your spirit is trying to talk to you. As always, be very mindful and careful of who you surround yourself with as they can bring down your vibrations. Helps keep away from emotional vampiric entities in the meta, such as your company that conveniently is able to make you feel something again. Trust your intuition and your guts. Follow your heart! Not your mind or past! <3

Sending my love and I hope you feel better soon! I know EXACTLY what you're going through. 

 

[Cucuboth]

My depression issues has become worse the last 4 months or so.
I thought that when I left my abusive xbf and got my own place that it would become better. It has in a lot of ways but not regarding my depression. 
Lately I've been occupying myself with painting the new apartment. Now I only have 1 bedroom left to paint and I know that once that is done the issue of failing to distract myself is going to come again. I've basically held myself occupied with people or painting so I won't end up as a shivering and crying mess. It's exhausting. I'm so tired yet when I stop and take a break, I start to cry. 
The usual distractions that I have been using aren't effective anymore. I used to do coloring, watching series, reading, gaming or running as an escape before but it's failing to help me. 
Don't really know what to do now. 
Maybe I just have to wait for this dark period to get a little better. 

Kind of understand. Everything just feels like a temporary distraction. For me it is because I have to do everything on my own, there isn’t anyone to share anything with, so it is like there really isn’t any escape from it.

 

[ahsatan]

My depression issues has become worse the last 4 months or so.
I thought that when I left my abusive xbf and got my own place that it would become better. It has in a lot of ways but not regarding my depression. 
Lately I've been occupying myself with painting the new apartment. Now I only have 1 bedroom left to paint and I know that once that is done the issue of failing to distract myself is going to come again. I've basically held myself occupied with people or painting so I won't end up as a shivering and crying mess. It's exhausting. I'm so tired yet when I stop and take a break, I start to cry. 
The usual distractions that I have been using aren't effective anymore. I used to do coloring, watching series, reading, gaming or running as an escape before but it's failing to help me. 
Don't really know what to do now. 
Maybe I just have to wait for this dark period to get a little better. 

Hope things get better for you.Ur a strong person.

 

[MissBehave]

Thank you all for your input. 
Helps that someone just read my words.

Ahsatan, you are a strong woman and a lovely friend. 
*hugs youuuuu*

 

[ahsatan]

Thank you all for your input. 
Helps that someone just read my words.

Ahsatan, you are a strong woman and a lovely friend. 
*hugs youuuuu*

Thanks❤❤❤ Ur very kind. Ur a great friend as well! :shy:

 

[HisDaughter]

I am sorry about how you feel! It's a good thing that you have kept yourself occupied. When society goes back to normal again, maybe you should meet with a therapist for help. Maybe you can try running again. Exercise is great for feeling better from depression. I hope that you come up with ideas about how to keep yourself busy. Talking with a therapist can help a lot when we suffer from depression. I hope you feel better soon.

 

[MissBehave]

I am sorry about how you feel! It's a good thing that you have kept yourself occupied. When society goes back to normal again, maybe you should meet with a therapist for help. Maybe you can try running again. Exercise is great for feeling better from depression. I hope that you come up with ideas about how to keep yourself busy. Talking with a therapist can help a lot when we suffer from depression. I hope you feel better soon.

Thank you
I wonder how long this Corona thing is gonna last. 
Looks like it will last for a while.
Hopefully it goes by sooner than later.

 

[HisDaughter]

[quote pid='917791' dateline='1586864134']
I don't know how long this Coronavirus is going to last but we need to help ourselves stay sane and healthy. I try to go out for walks but I'm not always in the mood. Take care of yourself. We need to take care of ourselves more than ever. Maybe reading good books can help. I hope that you feel better completely.
[/quote]

 

[worthless_loser]

Hello.
I read your post.
I'm glad you left your abusive ex-boyfriend, but I'm sorry your depression has gotten worse.

I can't think of any advice for your situation other than distracting yourself with healthy distractions (reading, exercise, etc.).
One thing I like to do is look for new recipes on the internet and try them, but with the COVID-19 stuff going on, that might be a hard thing to do right now.

You seem like a good person.
I hope things get better for you soon.
Try not to misbehave, MissBehave. (it sounded funny in my head)

 

[MissBehave]

Hello.
I read your post.
I'm glad you left your abusive ex-boyfriend, but I'm sorry your depression has gotten worse.

I can't think of any advice for your situation other than distracting yourself with healthy distractions (reading, exercise, etc.).
One thing I like to do is look for new recipes on the internet and try them, but with the COVID-19 stuff going on, that might be a hard thing to do right now.

You seem like a good person.
I hope things get better for you soon.
Try not to misbehave, MissBehave. (it sounded funny in my head)

Thank you for saying that. I appreciate your warm thought
Well, I think misbehaving is in my blood. Lol
What brought you here to ALL?

 

[worthless_loser]

Thank you for saying that. I appreciate your warm thought
Well, I think misbehaving is in my blood. Lol
What brought you here to ALL?

Something bad happened in my life and I felt terrible about it.
I was looking for support, so I ended up here and another forum.

I was going to lose my health insurance and food stamps if I didn't get a job.
The work requirements were canceled recently and I've found some freelance work.
I've been working on my problems, but it's hard.

I also have friends here and I try to message them at least once a month to see how they're doing.
How did you end up at ALL?

 

[MissBehave]

Thank you for saying that. I appreciate your warm thought
Well, I think misbehaving is in my blood. Lol
What brought you here to ALL?

Something bad happened in my life and I felt terrible about it.
I was looking for support, so I ended up here and another forum.

I was going to lose my health insurance and food stamps if I didn't get a job.
The work requirements were canceled recently and I've found some freelance work.
I've been working on my problems, but it's hard.

I also have friends here and I try to message them at least once a month to see how they're doing.
How did you end up at ALL?

I hope your problems gives you a break real soon. I had bad stuff happen to me too and it's left a everlasting shitty impression on me. Sadly. But yeah. Just keep on keeping on.
I joined here originally earlier than this profile say. Not sure how long but maybe 2 years soon. My bad memory tends to fail me. Lol. I think I was tired of pretending. All my life I've felt like I didn't fit in. So I guess I wanted to see if I could find somewhere to just be me. I lost interest in relationships that were shallow and cage like. Guess I've never liked them but it got to the point where I was very fed up with it. 
Also think I wanted to be heard. Like, really heard.

 

[worthless_loser]

I hope your problems gives you a break real soon.
I had bad stuff happen to me too and it's left a everlasting shitty impression on me. Sadly.
But yeah.
Just keep on keeping on.

I joined here originally earlier than this profile say.
Not sure how long but maybe 2 years soon.
My bad memory tends to fail me. Lol.

I think I was tired of pretending.
All my life I've felt like I didn't fit in.
So I guess I wanted to see if I could find somewhere to just be me.
I lost interest in relationships that were shallow and cage-like.
Guess I've never liked them but it got to the point where I was very fed up with it. 
Also, think I wanted to be heard.
Like, really heard.

Thanks.
It's been up and down.
Sometimes I get a break, then something else bad happens.
Things have been pretty good for me recently, all things considered.
I still wish this **** virus stuff would be over already.

You're not the only one, I have trouble remembering stuff too.
I think I've been here for a year or two.


I have trouble being "me" in real life.
I don't have anything in common with the people I grew up around except video games.
And I'm trying to quit those.
I'm much better at communicating online through words.

That sounds like me through high-school.
I don't know how to make friends in real life.
I think the only way I could do that is to meet people online, then move close to them in real life.
But I think people would see that as creepy.

I like being heard too.
I think the people here are pretty nice.

Also, where did you get your signature GIF from?
I like it.