My anxiety: I want my balls back.

[fuzzybutt]

Let me get this out of the way: I'm a 22 year old guy who hasn't even come close to being close friends with a girl. I have female friends, mostly on facebook. Classmates etc.

Now on to my problem: There is this wonderful girl at work who is intoxicating to be around with. She's told me several times already how she likes talking to me, my personality, and my talents. But I haven't made my move yet. :club:

Now I've decided that the next time I see her I WILL get her number. This isn't much of a big deal. The problem is what comes after.

I used to be a little social, but I've never done anything truly interesting with my friends such as going to concerts and events and the like or outdoor-ish stuff. It's mainly just going to the movies or their houses to play video games. Therefore my ideas of fun are so lame.

I have spent the last year and half by myself after my classes and work doing homework and playing video games. The reason is because my anxiety keeps me here. It's to the point where I sometimes cry myself to sleep because of how lame I am.

Basically I get sick to my stomach whenever I see my phone ringing and it's one of my friends. I like my friends. I really do. But I have this huge fear of eating in public. So basically I came to the conclusion that I am socially inept because in America being social is not just about going out, but also eating out.

I've taken drugs for this before. I do exercise. I love running but will I have to run an hour before I go out to stay calm? I'm running real low on my Xanax pills and I don't to rely on those too much.

I know one solution would be to take baby steps. Like possibly hang out with a friend or two once a week, and then more and more until I'm sociable again however...I'm running out of time. She's looking for another job. If she leaves anytime soon I won't be able to contact her since she doesn't seem to have any profiles on any social site.

As a guy, it's real hard to talk about these problems especially to my parents. I'm also afraid my closest friends will think I'm a lunatic. It's real easy to ask someone out to hang out. I have no problem saying "Yes." It's just that when the time comes to leave my house my anxiety kicks in.

I'm sorry for the long read. I just want my balls back

 

[Kat]

It's a vicious cycle that you need to break little by little and you'll get used to it.

You can still get the phone number if you feel like it's almost too late, you could say you'd like to keep in touch after she leaves. Slowly make the changes to your life, give her a call in a couple months and go from there.

 

[fuzzybutt]

That's what I'm thinking. It's how I'm trying to stay positive.

 

[IgnoredOne]

You could always tell her that you like her too, and admit that you have some difficulties socially. She might be completely okay with it and help you.

 

[fuzzybutt]

You could always tell her that you like her too, and admit that you have some difficulties socially. She might be completely okay with it and help you.

I've thought about this for quite a while. She does seem like the person to understand these things. I'll have to wait and see though. I don't want to seem like too much of a wimp.

 

[IgnoredOne]

You could always tell her that you like her too, and admit that you have some difficulties socially. She might be completely okay with it and help you.

I've thought about this for quite a while. She does seem like the person to understand these things. I'll have to wait and see though. I don't want to seem like too much of a wimp.

Admitting that you have flaws and are working on them actively is a very antiwimpish trait.

What is your fear of eating in public? Do you feel that you're fat? Can you get takeout? Fast food?

 

[fuzzybutt]

You could always tell her that you like her too, and admit that you have some difficulties socially. She might be completely okay with it and help you.

I've thought about this for quite a while. She does seem like the person to understand these things. I'll have to wait and see though. I don't want to seem like too much of a wimp.

Admitting that you have flaws and are working on them actively is a very antiwimpish trait.

What is your fear of eating in public? Do you feel that you're fat? Can you get takeout? Fast food?

My fear stems from me being anxious when I leave my house. I don't have a fear of leaving my house...it's kind of confusing to explain. Basically, because I get anxious of hanging with my friends and feel my stomach churning I get even more anxious to sit down and eat because I fear I won't be able to hold down my food. I'm not fat. I only weigh about 128lbs. And it's not restaurants only, I feel like this whenever I sit down with someone else's family/friends at their house too.

I'm guessing this fear of eating in public is a result of me being paranoid. But I've been like this for years since I was 14 so it's very difficult to control.

 

[Kat]

If you and her are fairly friendly with each other, I'm sure it'll be a breeze to get the phone number. Explain that you want to stay in touch after she leaves. Then give it a little time and do the things you need to do to get out of your shell a bit and really work on it. After a couple weeks/months or something, you can call her and invite her to get coffee or something... "to catch up".