My life right now

[Josh]

Just started to think of some depressing facts of my life.

If I died tomorow less then 5 people would care probaly less then 50 people would even know who I was.

I think it has been over 8 year since I have had human contact that I enjoyed (in high school got hurt in football and used to get a weekly massage)

I have never had any real physical contact with a non family female other then anything in daily routine( this pretty much means I have never held hands kissed or even hugged a girl)

They only person in my life that might have loved me has been dead for over 6 years now.

My one real friend now has gotten on with his life and doesn't really even know if I am still alive or not probaly. (Great real friend huh?)

The only thing I have had to feel good about in my life is about to be ruined I am going to lose my 4.0 this term and there is someone in my class that is smarter and doing better then me with a tenth of the effort.

Now most of this is probaly my fault in some way I don't know how to fix it and have no clue why I am even posting this but What I do know is I am really just starting to give up.

 

[Blue Sky]

If something happened to me, no body would know either, I live alone with my dog. I used to dwell on this thought abit cause I'd think what would happen to my dog if something happened to me. The only way that people would know something is wrong, is when the letters start to overflow in my letter box. But I try not to think about things like that.

 

[Josh]

If something happened to me, no body would know either, I live alone with my dog. I used to dwell on this thought abit cause I'd think what would happen to my dog if something happened to me. The only way that people would know something is wrong,  is  when the letters  start to overflow in my letter box. But I try not to think about things like that.

Since it sounds like you somewhat understand what I feel any tips on how you keep it togther? or just how you get a long each day?

 

[Blue Sky]

Well over the past few years I have been through quite alot. Unemployment, deaths in my family, alcohol and relationship issues and it got to the point where I could do nothing about my situation and stay miserable or take action. I started going to self help groups. At the start I was very quiet and wouldn't say much, but as time went by I started to open up and get involved in the disscussions. I go and see a counsellor once a week, I find that having someone to talk to about my problems also helps. Being unemployed I have alot of time on my hands, so I go to the gym everyday, I wouldn't say that I have met alot of people there but there ar some people there that I talk with. I also joined job agency and go there once a week to look for work. So for me doing these things gets me out and about, rather than sitting at home doing nothing and thinking to much. Eventually I will get back into the workforce, thats my major goal at the moment.
Everyone is different but thats what I have done so far. And I do feel better than when I was stuck at home everyday just watching television and sleeping and having no interaction with people.

 

[lonelygirl]

Blue Sky,

You are AWESOME for doing what you are doing! I've been unemployed in the past and I know how deeply depressing it can be. With a lot of time on your hands, it can be hard to get motivated at all. Going to the gym, getting out of the house, looking for work, these are all super awesome and brave things you are doing! Josh, listen to Blue Sky!

Hugs,

LG

 

[Josh]

Well over the past few years I have been through quite alot. Unemployment, deaths in my family, alcohol and relationship issues and it got to the point where I could do nothing about my situation and stay miserable or take action. I started going to self help groups. At the start I was very quiet and wouldn't say much, but as time went by I started to open up and get involved in the disscussions. I go and see a counsellor once a week, I find that having someone to talk to about my problems also helps. Being unemployed I have alot of time on my hands, so I go to the gym everyday, I wouldn't say that I have met alot of people there but there ar some people there that I talk with. I also joined job agency and go there once a week to look for work. So for me doing these things gets me out and about, rather than sitting at home doing nothing and thinking to much. Eventually I will get back into the workforce, thats my major goal at the moment.
Everyone is different but thats what I have done so far. And I do feel better than when I was stuck at home everyday just watching television and sleeping and having no interaction with people.

I don't have any problems with being employed what I was asking about is how you deal with that if you died no one would care at all pretty much.

 

[Blue Sky]

Well as I wrote in the first thread. I try not to think about negative things like that. Of course I still negative thoughts from time to time, but I have learnt that dwelling on these thoughts isn't going to do me any good. I think, well for me anyway, having someone to talk to about these things help, support group, councellor, etc.... I could be either negative or positive about things, I was hurting so much inside that I wanted to do something to stop it. I still have along way to go, I don't have many friends, no job , no relationship. But if I try and give it a go I can achieve these things.

 

[lonelygirl]

Hey Blue Sky,

Please give yourself respect for having the strength to keep going without a support system. I did recent start counseling and I do like it very much. I look forward to it each week--talking about anything in my present or past that is troubling me, and feeling that someone is really listening and caring.

Josh, I hope that you don't feel that way. I would like to get to know you better and so would many others on this site, I'm sure.