My quest for confidence.

[Yeah!]

I've been lurking here for a few days, now, and I thought this might be something you lot might dig.

I co host a weekly online radio show, and my short section is usually based around an ongoing project. I just started one about confidence, specifically convincing everyone I meet that I have it. There are a few things I want to achieve, besides the obvious stuff, like getting fit, being able to converse without getting palpitations and making my way towards a genuinely better life with the learning of skills most people seem to have down naturally.

First off, I'm ridiculously unhealthy. I managed to do eight push ups today before collapsing into a twitching mess on the floor for ten minutes, convinced I was dying. I'm underweight, and my diet is mostly pizza, coffee, whiskey and cigarettes. My days are spent lying in bed with the laptop, making music or watching movies. So learning to take care of myself is a huge step, considering I can't cook and am a complete slob.

This is my first big focus. I want to put on weight, learn to cook and do at least three things a week that are out of character, and to just keep repeating them until whatever it is doesn't scare me any more. I talked with one of the other show hosts about going to the gym, and how the concept seems like a social nightmare, so that's something I want to cross off my list along side become a regular at the swimming pool. I'll look completely absurd lifting weights, so splashing about in water like a lunatic is a pretty great jumping off point, and it'll hide my skeletal frame (I hope).

So, yup, there it is. Any recommendations for things to help me become braver will be welcomed, and I might update the thread as things progress. Wish me luck!

 

[Sci-Fi]

Wow yeah you do have a horrible diet, cut out the whiskey and cigarettes. Sounds like you are doing good on your own keep it up. That's pretty cool you host an online radio show, good luck to you.

 

[Yeah!]

Yeah, I should really cut the drinking down several notches. I think at this point it's become part crutch, part habit, where I'd have a couple before I went to bed to knock myself out. I don't get dreams, or I at least don't remember them, when I fall asleep drunk or on my way there, and I like that. Plus, my natural reaction to situations I don't want to be in is to get wrecked, which isn't a good way to be. I mean, I like whiskey, in the same way someone would like orange juice, getting drunk is a pretty nice side effect sometimes.

 

[I'm Fine]

I think you've got some good ideas for yourself already - and a really good attitude (assuming you're telling the truth of course). It would be interesting to see how well you do.

Just a word of warning, which you've probably already realised. If you're using alcohol to get yourself to sleep and you stop it, you'll probably experience some rebound insomnia. Thought I might mention that just in case.

Question: When you say you can't cook, how 'can't' are you meaning? Is this as in, can't do a roast with veggies etc, or is it more that when you try to boil water, you burn the pan.... Because there are meals you can do that are relatively simple but quite filling. (Sorry, I have this thing about feeding people, odd, I know - I blame it on genetics.)

Good luck *hugs*

 

[Yeah!]

I once burned peas whilst attempting to boil them. They were totally submerged, it was all going well, looked like I'd finally made edible food. They ended up looking like a cast iron art project. I am that bad. I've been looking up some places in the county I could take cooking lessons, but they're all waaaaaaay outta my price range (I'm looking for somewhere between the free and they pay me to do it bracket, essentially). I realised that it was cheaper to just buy a frozen pizza or something than it was to keep on buying pots and pans after I'd managed to wreck the used ones, along with food that's dearer than those same frozen pizzas. One burnt meal isn't just a burnt meal, it's burnt cash I could have used on bills or to put into my stagnating retirement fund.

Also, thanks for the heads up on the insomnia. That's actually something I hadn't taken into consideration.

 

[SkuzzieMuff]

Don't feel so bad about the push-ups, they're hard.... I'm not overweight, but I can't even do one full push-up... ( I mean, I do have little noodly arms, but c'mon, just ONE!?) you definately gotta start slow, and swimming is great exercise. Not only does swimming impact your joints far less than lifting weights, but it works almost all the muscles in your body. I really want to start doing so myself, but when you get to the gym stage, get a membership to a gym with a pool.

Eating healthy is also very important. If you eat like honeysuckle, you'll feel like honeysuckle, and look like honeysuckle.... It's really hard to feel good about yourself when you don't feel good and don't feel like you look good. I hate cooking as well, and so I struggle with the same issue. If someone would feed me healthy food, I'd eat it, but I'd rather throw some honeysuckle in the microwave... Maybe you should look for a simple healthy cookbook, one made for beginners or something... Hell, buy Cooking for Dummies, I knew someone that got some really good recipes out of one of those books. Learning to cook just takes time and practice, I simply lack the desire to do it in the first place....

I wish you luck in your quest for confidence! It's an awesome idea, and I hope you succeed. Don't let go of your goal, go get it!
(then maybe you can teach some of us... )

 

[I'm Fine]

I once burned peas whilst attempting to boil them. They were totally submerged, it was all going well, looked like I'd finally made edible food. They ended up looking like a cast iron art project. I am that bad. I've been looking up some places in the county I could take cooking lessons, but they're all waaaaaaay outta my price range (I'm looking for somewhere between the free and they pay me to do it bracket, essentially). I realised that it was cheaper to just buy a frozen pizza or something than it was to keep on buying pots and pans after I'd managed to wreck the used ones, along with food that's dearer than those same frozen pizzas. One burnt meal isn't just a burnt meal, it's burnt cash I could have used on bills or to put into my stagnating retirement fund.

Ok, do you have a microwave? How are you with that? Most supermarkets do a range of ready meals that can be either oven or microwave cooked. They're not usually a brilliantly varied range but at least it would give you a change to pizza.

It's at this point that I'm *seriously* wishing that I could just simply give you meals (and I would too - I'm sad like that - told you I'm weird).

 

[Timelessness]

I'll look completely absurd lifting weights, so splashing about in water like a lunatic is a pretty great jumping off point, and it'll hide my skeletal frame (I hope).

Any recommendations for things to help me become braver will be welcomed, and I might update the thread as things progress. Wish me luck!

Just throwing this out there... Many gyms are actually used by people who are casual instead of the stereotypical bodybuilder. Don't be so quick to dismiss going.

 

[SenjiiDragon]

I'll look completely absurd lifting weights, so splashing about in water like a lunatic is a pretty great jumping off point, and it'll hide my skeletal frame (I hope).

Any recommendations for things to help me become braver will be welcomed, and I might update the thread as things progress. Wish me luck!

Just throwing this out there... Many gyms are actually used by people who are casual instead of the stereotypical bodybuilder. Don't be so quick to dismiss going.

Agreed. Plus, in addition to free weights, most gyms have weight machines. They are really easy to use. You sit down, read the instruction on the machine, set the height and weight, and have at it. It's really hard to mess up.

I would caution people to start slow. The mistake people frequently make is overdoing it on the first visit, being painfully sore the next day, and discouraged from going to the gym again.

 

[Badjedidude]

Here's a good tip about working out:

IF YOU CAN DO IT, THEN YOU'RE NOT WORKING HARD ENOUGH

The way to push yourself to better health and fitness is to always make sure you're upping your workout regimen so that it's always difficult for you. Not "oh I'm a bit sweaty that was pleasant," but something more like, "DEAR GOD I ******* HATE DOING THIS WHY DO I PUNISH MYSELF LIKE THIS???"

The latter is an acceptable workout.

Do that and you'll be fit as a fiddle in no time at all.