Like the title says, I am in dire need of advice. I have recently found these forums and I hope that the users here can provide me with the answers I need.
I should warn you right now that this could be a long story, but I implore you to read it if you can offer any piece of advice to my situation
Here's the thing:
So I'm 14, a school student. When the school year starts we greet old faces and meet new ones. Eventually I meet this new face who was a friend of my friend. At first, I just thought she looked nice and didn't bother her much anymore.
Soon, she starts to hang out more with said friend, who happens to be my best friend, and in turn hang out more with me. I start to know her better, seeing her personality and how like-able she can be when you know her well. Then the infatuation developed.
At first I thought that it was the same as my feelings for my elementary school crush, nothing but a young, fruitless infatuation. Eventually I was proven wrong.
Soon, I found myself spending more time with her and starting to feel concerned for her. Whenever she has a problem, I always try to help her. I don't know why, but I always felt the need to lighten up the weight she carries, especially with her problems.
She's a working student apparently, she lost 3 family members to disease, and majority of my classmates talk crap behind her back even when they act friendly in front of her (I pretend to be unaffected by the gossip even when I am, just so I know what they are talking about).
The stuff they talk about can almost be confirmed, but other gossip such as her NOT being a virgin have destroyed their reliability in my eyes (Hell, she hasn't even had her first kiss yet).
When they found out about my feelings for her, they did everything they could to get me away from her, my closest friends remained neutral. I took into account their opinion, but I could not deny what I felt for her. The prospect of walking away seemed impossible for me at that time.
Eventually, I decided to confess my feelings to her personally. However, before I had managed to admit it, I discovered that she already had a boyfriend. It felt like a cold knife through my chest at the revelation, but I swore to myself that I would die before I interfered with her relationship. All I could do was silently hope that it would pass.
Soon enough, their relationship did pass and I saw my chance to confess my feelings. But, she seemed torn apart when she was dumped by her boyfriend, so I decided to just comfort her but stay quiet in order to give her time to recover.
I fear that I had waited too long...
The opportunity to admit my love came soon, and I took it. She seemed quite happy about it and even said I was one of her closest friends, but... she had already gotten another boyfriend. A part of me died at that information.
Needless to say, I punished myself for admitting my feelings while she was in a relationship, I felt as if I had broken my personal vow not to interfere with her love-life. It was an emotional rollercoaster for a while after that.
Soon, we started talking more and more, and even sending some flirty texts to each other; she even admitted that she had a crush on me for quite some time, but had remained quiet about it throughout the school year (it was close to ending by this time, and I felt like I had wasted my chance). However, I knew that this would soon evolve into cheating, so we both agreed to lessen our contact and flirting.
She said that she would like to be with me, but she was with someone else and I feel that her morals is what's keeping her with the other person (in every relationship she's been in, the boy was the one to break-up with her). I could be wrong though. She told me that I had a chance to be with her (among her several suitors) if I just waited. How big the chance was, she did not say. But I think my odds are high since we are close friends and I seem to have spent more time with her than the other suitors when she was single.
Now, here's the catch. She's changing schools next school year and I think that she will meet boys that are even better than I am. But I would not dare get in between her and happiness. If she does find someone, then I will let it be.
What I want to know is, what should I do now? Shall I wait or shall I walk away and find someone new. This courting period has taken a toll on me emotionally. It's hard to maintain neutral ground between her and my peers and more than once I have almost cried thinking about what bad thing could happen in the future to end our feelings for one another.
I know that I am just 14 and very young. I heard that relationships at this age are fickle and would not last, I have tried and tried to tell that to myself, but my subconscious just cannot accept it. I don't know why, but I just cannot accept the fact that This Will Not Last.
Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated, even just sympathy stating that you have read my story will help me emotionally. I would be very glad if you just read all of that.
I should warn you right now that this could be a long story, but I implore you to read it if you can offer any piece of advice to my situation
Here's the thing:
So I'm 14, a school student. When the school year starts we greet old faces and meet new ones. Eventually I meet this new face who was a friend of my friend. At first, I just thought she looked nice and didn't bother her much anymore.
Soon, she starts to hang out more with said friend, who happens to be my best friend, and in turn hang out more with me. I start to know her better, seeing her personality and how like-able she can be when you know her well. Then the infatuation developed.
At first I thought that it was the same as my feelings for my elementary school crush, nothing but a young, fruitless infatuation. Eventually I was proven wrong.
Soon, I found myself spending more time with her and starting to feel concerned for her. Whenever she has a problem, I always try to help her. I don't know why, but I always felt the need to lighten up the weight she carries, especially with her problems.
She's a working student apparently, she lost 3 family members to disease, and majority of my classmates talk crap behind her back even when they act friendly in front of her (I pretend to be unaffected by the gossip even when I am, just so I know what they are talking about).
The stuff they talk about can almost be confirmed, but other gossip such as her NOT being a virgin have destroyed their reliability in my eyes (Hell, she hasn't even had her first kiss yet).
When they found out about my feelings for her, they did everything they could to get me away from her, my closest friends remained neutral. I took into account their opinion, but I could not deny what I felt for her. The prospect of walking away seemed impossible for me at that time.
Eventually, I decided to confess my feelings to her personally. However, before I had managed to admit it, I discovered that she already had a boyfriend. It felt like a cold knife through my chest at the revelation, but I swore to myself that I would die before I interfered with her relationship. All I could do was silently hope that it would pass.
Soon enough, their relationship did pass and I saw my chance to confess my feelings. But, she seemed torn apart when she was dumped by her boyfriend, so I decided to just comfort her but stay quiet in order to give her time to recover.
I fear that I had waited too long...
The opportunity to admit my love came soon, and I took it. She seemed quite happy about it and even said I was one of her closest friends, but... she had already gotten another boyfriend. A part of me died at that information.
Needless to say, I punished myself for admitting my feelings while she was in a relationship, I felt as if I had broken my personal vow not to interfere with her love-life. It was an emotional rollercoaster for a while after that.
Soon, we started talking more and more, and even sending some flirty texts to each other; she even admitted that she had a crush on me for quite some time, but had remained quiet about it throughout the school year (it was close to ending by this time, and I felt like I had wasted my chance). However, I knew that this would soon evolve into cheating, so we both agreed to lessen our contact and flirting.
She said that she would like to be with me, but she was with someone else and I feel that her morals is what's keeping her with the other person (in every relationship she's been in, the boy was the one to break-up with her). I could be wrong though. She told me that I had a chance to be with her (among her several suitors) if I just waited. How big the chance was, she did not say. But I think my odds are high since we are close friends and I seem to have spent more time with her than the other suitors when she was single.
Now, here's the catch. She's changing schools next school year and I think that she will meet boys that are even better than I am. But I would not dare get in between her and happiness. If she does find someone, then I will let it be.
What I want to know is, what should I do now? Shall I wait or shall I walk away and find someone new. This courting period has taken a toll on me emotionally. It's hard to maintain neutral ground between her and my peers and more than once I have almost cried thinking about what bad thing could happen in the future to end our feelings for one another.
I know that I am just 14 and very young. I heard that relationships at this age are fickle and would not last, I have tried and tried to tell that to myself, but my subconscious just cannot accept it. I don't know why, but I just cannot accept the fact that This Will Not Last.
Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated, even just sympathy stating that you have read my story will help me emotionally. I would be very glad if you just read all of that.
