Never used Facebook before

[jc89]

Hello everyone. An older post of mine that describes my background:  

http://www.alonelylife.com/thread-h...ut-shutting-everyone-out?pid=229496#pid229496  

To update, I feel like I've hit rock bottom... but in a good way. I finally broke ties from my girlfriend-- I really didn't want to, I tried so hard to marry her and have a family with her, but I think in the long run, I'm better off without her in my life. I finally have a job-- it's below my skill level, and it doesn't pay well, but it's something that I'm more than content with after years of unemployment. For the first time in a long while, I feel optimistic.

I'm in my 30s with no friends after a depressing relationship and demoralizing job search, but I want to rebuild somehow, and feel better about myself for once.  

I never used Facebook, because I was preoccupied with the ugly end to my military career, and the terrible relationship I was in. Does it not "look good" if my page has no friends or any activity? It's not that I want to show a false image of myself and pretend that I haven't had a ton of bad luck, but I don't want to turn people away prematurely. How can I make it presentable when I reach out to people I know? Or should I just not bother with Facebook?

 

[JustALonelyGuy]

Its entirely upto you about facebook. For me, facebook mademe worse in terms of socializing etc. There are some very lost and fallen people on facebook and if you have people problems, it may not be the best place for you. Plus the 'state' has its eyes on you when you have a FB account. They know who you are and where you are. Ive learnt most thigns in the mainstream come at a price.

 

[Azariah]

I deleted my facebook(Not deactivate, DELETE). It was pretty much useless. No one ever showed interest in me and my friends posted information that I did not need to know. But then again, I only had about 40 friends.

It might be a different experience for you though. You can always delete it anytime you want. But mind you, think twice before you post anything there. Even if you delete it, facebook will always have access to that information. At least that's what I heard.

 

[Saucer]

And they will also own the right to use and sell what ever pictures you upload to it, before you even consider getting one I suggest that you do what no one ever does and actually read what you are agreeing to when you check that box.

 

[duff]

Ive only got 28 friends on there. It's usefull for keeping in touch with people rather than using email addresses etc. I don't take it very seriously. For example if a woman 'likes' one of my posts I don't presume they like me. The bullshit on there is a bit annoying, blokes writing messages about their girlfriends or people boasting about how drunk they were last night. It's nothing to get upset over though !

 

[Lefty Lonely]

I had a lot less friends than those above and I made and deleted a FB three times. The last time last year was the final time. I'm not at all preoccupied about not having one now. You're really not missing anything.

 

[Drama]

Facebook sucks.

 

[Lefty Lonely]

Facebook sucks.

AMEN!!

 

[Moe'sTavern]

After realizing that I really had no one to talk to on facebook despite have 70 "friends", I decided to part ways with it. One of the best decisions I've made for far.

 

[jc89]

I'm pretty sure my ex rebounded with somebody she talked to on her Facebook, while I decided against creating an account to avoid having another stupid jealously argument with her. Haha.

Right now, I go to work, small talk with elderly and married co-workers, then go home to an empty, silent room. WRR. I don't think my life needs to end this way.

What should I do, then? I don't want to get personal with co-workers (strangers) about the past few years, and spoil the atmosphere. Especially when I need the steady paycheck I'm getting.

 

[duff]

I'm pretty sure my ex rebounded with somebody she talked to on her Facebook, while I decided against creating an account to avoid having another stupid jealously argument with her. Haha.

Right now, I go to work, small talk with elderly and married co-workers, then go home to an empty, silent room. WRR. I don't think my life needs to end this way.

What should I do, then? I don't want to get personal with co-workers (strangers) about the past few years, and spoil the atmosphere. Especially when I need the steady paycheck I'm getting.

take up some hobbies !

photography is good, gets you out, fairly cheap !

 

[9006]

Facebook is a social disaster! Everything about socialising is being digitalised, and that's a bad thing, we need to preserve what little social skills we have left, otherwise we'll all end up with swapping facebook pages, rather than names!

 

[Lefty Lonely]

otherwise we'll all end up with swapping facebook pages, rather than names!

You got that right. People just arent designed (or havent evolved yet) to socialize in the limited ways Facebook and other outlets provide . I struggle to see the good in it overall .

 

[GioRocket]

I bloody hate facebook, it makes me hate people that before I was totally indifferent too. Statuses with bad grammar and pathetic woe-is-me attention seeking bullshit. It makes me almost glad that I don't have many real friends if it made me make self absorbed status updates 5 times a day

 

[Peaches]

facebook is rather to keep in touch with friends or acquaintances far away in space or time, I started using it with colleagues many years ago and it has been precious for me at many levels, but that works because I meet tons of people with my work and such and lived in different places, so I naturally collected a number of superficial relationships(not talking about friends, just acquaintances, if I died tomorrow none of them would care). Maybe you can start meeting people through other channels (meetup groups, activities, work, family) and tell upfront that you are new to Facebook? Usually if you say that you don't know how it works, people you already know are happy to suggest friends to you. OK, Friends, not friends, facebook is all about "Friends" in brackets, so it doesn't guarantee any degree of intimacy, but to the purpose of keeping a certain degree of mental health or to find things to do on the weekend when no one is inviting you anywhere, I think it works great. Also, it can happen that one in a hundred wants to be your friend for real, and then facebook is really good for having random chats and updating on each other (hey I see in your pics you went to the beach yesterday, how was that? etc)
And, yes, be selective, don't accept weirdos who you ve never met in person, who can't spell and who could be dangerous, be careful. Start joining some groups on things that interest you, don't know, bowling, sports team, music, photography, whatever, and then if somebody seems nice you can strike a conversation. Go for the local groups, things to be done in your area, check the Events. Usually, each connection brings a few others. If you meet somebody in life, I find it much easier to drop, hey, are you on Facebook? and then keep in touch from there than ask for their phone. Usually, if a relationship is bound to happen, phone number follows when you have to meet in person again. Make sure you post things that express yourself, think before posting, think if someone in 10 years is going to read this, would I be ashamed? personally I don't write anything too personal, but others don't mind.

 

[Unwanted94]

Facebook really does suck. I think social media is the primary reason we have such communication issues today. I feel like at one time in human history, communication was more fluent and taken seriously than it is today... Just a thought. =/

 

[Skid Row 89]

I liked Facebook until I discovered Twitter, much better in almost every way. Still, I could almost waste my whole day on it lol.

 

[painter's radio]

Double-edged sword.

Great for keeping in contact with old friends, catching up with highschool sweethearts that you'd probably never see again in your entire life, great for sharing pictures with people. But on the other hand I do agree that social media websites can be counterproductive to one's social skills. It's a bit like drugs, really - not everyone gets addicted and becomes a recluse. You often get what you put into it, depending on how interesting you are, or, quite unfortunately, how pretty you are/how big your tits are. It is annoying sometimes to see a girl post a standard photo of herself and within minutes it has over 30 likes and comments of everyone drooling over her, while I'm here being extremely witty and intelligent with my hilarious status updates and only get a couple of likes! Still, who is to blame for that. The girl, or society.

There are so, so, SO many stupid people on there. On much of the internet, and off it. The worst are the groups about gun control, racism, religion, whatever. So many people always ready to grab the pitchforks and burn a witch. All illiterate too. But again, a positive point, is that some people can really shine on there. Myself, for example, I have had people I've sort of known for years say they never saw the side of me that I display on there, and they like it. A lot of us can be much more interesting in words than we can be face to face. Is that a bad thing? It could prevent us possibly from learning to be that person in real life, but at the same time it puts it out there for people to see, and good things can come from that too.

 

[duff]

i don't know why people write messages on facebook saying they are having a glass of wine / vodka or beer. Why is that important ? Why is it people brag about drinking ? I don't get it ! I don't understand people ! What is so good about drinking ?

 

[Unwanted94]

Double-edged sword.

Great for keeping in contact with old friends, catching up with highschool sweethearts that you'd probably never see again in your entire life, great for sharing pictures with people. But on the other hand I do agree that social media websites can be counterproductive to one's social skills. It's a bit like drugs, really - not everyone gets addicted and becomes a recluse. You often get what you put into it, depending on how interesting you are, or, quite unfortunately, how pretty you are/how big your tits are. It is annoying sometimes to see a girl post a standard photo of herself and within minutes it has over 30 likes and comments of everyone drooling over her, while I'm here being extremely witty and intelligent with my hilarious status updates and only get a couple of likes! Still, who is to blame for that. The girl, or society.

There are so, so, SO many stupid people on there. On much of the internet, and off it. The worst are the groups about gun control, racism, religion, whatever. So many people always ready to grab the pitchforks and burn a witch. All illiterate too. But again, a positive point, is that some people can really shine on there. Myself, for example, I have had people I've sort of known for years say they never saw the side of me that I display on there, and they like it. A lot of us can be much more interesting in words than we can be face to face. Is that a bad thing? It could prevent us possibly from learning to be that person in real life, but at the same time it puts it out there for people to see, and good things can come from that too.

Well said. I truly agree with you too.