Freakin_Amazin
Well-known member
Hi all,
I am a 20 yr old male living in Puerto Rico. I've only had one girlfriend, which was pretty awful, but I'll tell that story in another post, as it is long (and painful).
She broke up with me two and a half years ago. So I should be over her.... except that doesn't seem to be the case. Don't get me wrong, I DON'T like her anymore. My life would be perfectly fine if I never saw her again. But I can't stop thinking about her and sometimes I even have dreams with her in it. This worries me.
Sometimes I feel really, really lonely. It's like most of the people out there have a totally different way of looking at life; like my lens is screwed up and I can't see why things are done the way they are. I've gotten to the conclusion that I'm just never going to understand certain aspects of interpersonal relationships. Chief among them is love. Now that I went through the experience of what a relationship is, and how bad it can get, I don't have a clue how people fall in love with each other. I'd like to fall in love - I just don't want to bend over backwards to do it.
I'm currently studying computer engineering. Going to start my third year when summer's over. So, I'm not a bum..... I don't do drugs.... I am not nasty or have overpowering odors.... I don't grope, fondle, or otherwise go over the line with any girl.... I am athletic, I lift weights, and I dress well..... So, why does it seem that no girl can fall head over heels for me? Cause I think that's what I need... I am not going to have another relationship where I'm the one providing all the love and all the glue to hold it all together. Doing it once was more than enough.
I'd like to meet someone who is more or less having a similar experience or at least someone who is willing to try to understand me.
I can be charming, I can be funny, and I can get pissed off in a second. I have "friends" who are hardcore party animals and other "friends" who go to church often and never party. I get along with straight A students as much as I get along with students that fail miserably. So, I can pretty much get along ok with everyone. But at the end of the day, something's missing. I really wish I had that special someone who cared about me. I'm just so tired of being the only one who cares that I've become cynical.
I'm glad that I could find a forum to express what I feel. I think I'll be regularly posting in the Diary section, if anyone wants to chat with me I'll be more than glad to.
I am a 20 yr old male living in Puerto Rico. I've only had one girlfriend, which was pretty awful, but I'll tell that story in another post, as it is long (and painful).
She broke up with me two and a half years ago. So I should be over her.... except that doesn't seem to be the case. Don't get me wrong, I DON'T like her anymore. My life would be perfectly fine if I never saw her again. But I can't stop thinking about her and sometimes I even have dreams with her in it. This worries me.
Sometimes I feel really, really lonely. It's like most of the people out there have a totally different way of looking at life; like my lens is screwed up and I can't see why things are done the way they are. I've gotten to the conclusion that I'm just never going to understand certain aspects of interpersonal relationships. Chief among them is love. Now that I went through the experience of what a relationship is, and how bad it can get, I don't have a clue how people fall in love with each other. I'd like to fall in love - I just don't want to bend over backwards to do it.
I'm currently studying computer engineering. Going to start my third year when summer's over. So, I'm not a bum..... I don't do drugs.... I am not nasty or have overpowering odors.... I don't grope, fondle, or otherwise go over the line with any girl.... I am athletic, I lift weights, and I dress well..... So, why does it seem that no girl can fall head over heels for me? Cause I think that's what I need... I am not going to have another relationship where I'm the one providing all the love and all the glue to hold it all together. Doing it once was more than enough.
I'd like to meet someone who is more or less having a similar experience or at least someone who is willing to try to understand me.
I can be charming, I can be funny, and I can get pissed off in a second. I have "friends" who are hardcore party animals and other "friends" who go to church often and never party. I get along with straight A students as much as I get along with students that fail miserably. So, I can pretty much get along ok with everyone. But at the end of the day, something's missing. I really wish I had that special someone who cared about me. I'm just so tired of being the only one who cares that I've become cynical.
I'm glad that I could find a forum to express what I feel. I think I'll be regularly posting in the Diary section, if anyone wants to chat with me I'll be more than glad to.
