New Guy

[RJLJD]

Hey everybody.
I stumbled upon this forum via yahoo answers and I felt like this is a good place for me to vent.
Allow me to introduce myself, you can call me RJ. I'm a college student in the Cleveland, Ohio area. I turned 21 about a month ago. I'm studying sport management in school. For the most part I'm a really normal guy. To be honest, I've looked around this forum a little bit and I feel quite fortunate. I don't have a lot of friends, in fact I have very few at school, but I do have 3 or 4 really good friends that I met in high school and I was fortunate enough that they along with myself all decided to commute to college. So I at least have them to socialize with.
My problem comes more so with my crippling fear of the opposite gender. To oversimplify it, girls scare me.
I'm 21, never had a girlfriend, never been kissed, never been particularly close to a girl. I've been on one date in my life.
This is where my loneliness comes in.
And that's where I'll leave you for now. I feel like there's a lot about me I want to share, but to give it all up in one swoop wouldn't be right.
I look forward to getting to know and talk to many people here. I want to do what I can to help people as well as better myself.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Hey, RJ, and welcome.

 

[Peter Lorre]

Welcome RJ

 

[annik]

Hello.

I really hope you have a good time here. Open up in your own time and I hope you get all the help you need and want.

 

[tedgresham]

Hey, RJ, I'm just about as new as you. Ran across this place in a google search of "I have nobody." lol Anyway, yeah, you're fortunate to have good friends.

As far as fearing girls, I suspect your fear is what they'll think of you if you approach them more than a fear that they'll rip your head off or something, right? Or you fear being hurt. Whatever the fear is, the thing you should do in my humble, newbie to the forum, but aged in life opinion, is stop thinking about them as a different species. Girls are people too. They're just made a little different. Granted, the differences are quite nice, but still, they're people. See them as people, forget even trying to find a girlfriend or whatever. Certainly put the thought of kissing... etc and etc... out of your head. If you don't your being uptight will always slam a door closed that you'd like to open a little, as in it will put a wall between you and that potential girl friend who may become a girlfriend.

Let me let you in on another little secret a lot of men and boys don't know. Girls/women are not objects for our pleasure. This attitude so pisses me off. Among a group of 'guys' it is often the prevailing attitude. May or may not be with your group, but just don't think that way. Sex, when it happens, should be a mutual thing. It will be if you see a girl as a friend and respect her.

Just a few thoughts from an old guy who has been around just a bit.

 

[RJLJD]

ted, its nice to meet you, as well as annik, peter, and EWF, but i specfically would like to reply to what ted said.
first, hahaha, no i don't actually fear being torn alive by a woman, and i apologize if i sounded that dramatic. my fear is more one of embarrassment and the fact that they're uncharted territory for me. i wouldn't know the first thing that i am doing.
one of my problems is that although i have friends i have trouble making friends. most of the friends i have i made years ago. breaking the ice with new people (especially young woman, but really anyone) is hard for me.
i get what you're saying about being one-track minded about girls though. don't automatically jump to assume every girl willing to say 2 words to me will want to date me. there's no problem, harm, or shame in befriending girls. i get that, but i appreciate that you said it.
one thing you'll never have to tell me twice is to respect women though, or really respect anyone. i have a religious side to me, and i in no way want to merely see woman as sex objects. i want to be respectful, and am. i'm the one to always bring about a female celebrities talents when my friends are just drooling about her looks, for instance. i'm not going to lie. i'm a guy, i have my sexually charged moments, but for the most part i do my very best to be respectful.
but like i said, i do appreciate your words.
and if you ever want to talk about something, i'll listen.

 

[Badjedidude]

Welcome to the site.

 

[theSmokingRabbit]

Welcome Ted and RJ!

The fear of women is called gynophobia. ::snicker::

Anyway, I look forward to seeing you around the forum.

 

[Braxton]

Welcome Here,
Hope you will learn here and share your knowledge here..

 

[lonelyfairy]

Hi, welcome!

I am a girl and never kissed either... :/

 

[condemnedsoul666]

Hello And Welcome!!

 

[Lonely punckh]

Hey everybody.
I stumbled upon this forum via yahoo answers and I felt like this is a good place for me to vent.
Allow me to introduce myself, you can call me RJ. I'm a college student in the Cleveland, Ohio area. I turned 21 about a month ago. I'm studying sport management in school. For the most part I'm a really normal guy. To be honest, I've looked around this forum a little bit and I feel quite fortunate. I don't have a lot of friends, in fact I have very few at school, but I do have 3 or 4 really good friends that I met in high school and I was fortunate enough that they along with myself all decided to commute to college. So I at least have them to socialize with.
My problem comes more so with my crippling fear of the opposite gender. To oversimplify it, girls scare me.
I'm 21, never had a girlfriend, never been kissed, never been particularly close to a girl. I've been on one date in my life.
This is where my loneliness comes in.
And that's where I'll leave you for now. I feel like there's a lot about me I want to share, but to give it all up in one swoop wouldn't be right.
I look forward to getting to know and talk to many people here. I want to do what I can to help people as well as better myself.

HEY! we so need to be Friends im a girl but not a girly girl more like a boy. you will one day get your first kiss make is special!

 

[NightHawkJohn]

Hey and welcome to the site .

 

[shyguy]

Hi RJ, You you have skype? It would be great to chat to you. My id is matthewalker. I am in a similar position to you, 21 (august baby), never had a gf etc. Anyway, feel free to add me or PM me!

 

[musingguy80]

Hey everybody.
I stumbled upon this forum via yahoo answers and I felt like this is a good place for me to vent.
Allow me to introduce myself, you can call me RJ. I'm a college student in the Cleveland, Ohio area. I turned 21 about a month ago. I'm studying sport management in school. For the most part I'm a really normal guy. To be honest, I've looked around this forum a little bit and I feel quite fortunate. I don't have a lot of friends, in fact I have very few at school, but I do have 3 or 4 really good friends that I met in high school and I was fortunate enough that they along with myself all decided to commute to college. So I at least have them to socialize with.
My problem comes more so with my crippling fear of the opposite gender. To oversimplify it, girls scare me.
I'm 21, never had a girlfriend, never been kissed, never been particularly close to a girl. I've been on one date in my life.
This is where my loneliness comes in.
And that's where I'll leave you for now. I feel like there's a lot about me I want to share, but to give it all up in one swoop wouldn't be right.
I look forward to getting to know and talk to many people here. I want to do what I can to help people as well as better myself.

Hi there. I have to say I'd loved to have studied Sports Management at university, that sounds great!

As for girls, remember, despite the fact they have different sexual organs to us, the are just people and talk, laugh, eat and excrete the same as us!!! Okay, that is crude, but it is true. They are not (well, most) monsters. From your post it sounds like you have male friends and your loneliness comes from no female friends, so you obviously have something to you as a person. Talk to a woman who you may encounter in the same way as your male friends, okay, leave out the fart jokes and talking about sport, video games etc etc etc until you know them, but really treat them the same and you will accrue female friends. I find having female friends and then breaking down that 'barrier' is essential. It makes talking to women who I don't know a little easier for me anyways. I am sure there'll be girls on this site who'll show you better than me, but seriously, just remember a girl is a person just the same as us.

 

[aquarius]

Welcome

 

[RJLJD]

all such pleasant and welcoming responses. i thank you.

Hey everybody.
I stumbled upon this forum via yahoo answers and I felt like this is a good place for me to vent.
Allow me to introduce myself, you can call me RJ. I'm a college student in the Cleveland, Ohio area. I turned 21 about a month ago. I'm studying sport management in school. For the most part I'm a really normal guy. To be honest, I've looked around this forum a little bit and I feel quite fortunate. I don't have a lot of friends, in fact I have very few at school, but I do have 3 or 4 really good friends that I met in high school and I was fortunate enough that they along with myself all decided to commute to college. So I at least have them to socialize with.
My problem comes more so with my crippling fear of the opposite gender. To oversimplify it, girls scare me.
I'm 21, never had a girlfriend, never been kissed, never been particularly close to a girl. I've been on one date in my life.
This is where my loneliness comes in.
And that's where I'll leave you for now. I feel like there's a lot about me I want to share, but to give it all up in one swoop wouldn't be right.
I look forward to getting to know and talk to many people here. I want to do what I can to help people as well as better myself.

HEY! we so need to be Friends im a girl but not a girly girl more like a boy. you will one day get your first kiss make is special!

we can be friends for sure. PM me, find my posts, or whatever else you can think of that works for you. sounds good to me!

Hi RJ, You you have skype? It would be great to chat to you. My id is matthewalker. I am in a similar position to you, 21 (august baby), never had a gf etc. Anyway, feel free to add me or PM me!

we can definitely talk, but i don't have skype, mostly because of a lack of webcam and/or mic. PM me or i will do it to you though. or we can think of something else.

Hey everybody.
I stumbled upon this forum via yahoo answers and I felt like this is a good place for me to vent.
Allow me to introduce myself, you can call me RJ. I'm a college student in the Cleveland, Ohio area. I turned 21 about a month ago. I'm studying sport management in school. For the most part I'm a really normal guy. To be honest, I've looked around this forum a little bit and I feel quite fortunate. I don't have a lot of friends, in fact I have very few at school, but I do have 3 or 4 really good friends that I met in high school and I was fortunate enough that they along with myself all decided to commute to college. So I at least have them to socialize with.
My problem comes more so with my crippling fear of the opposite gender. To oversimplify it, girls scare me.
I'm 21, never had a girlfriend, never been kissed, never been particularly close to a girl. I've been on one date in my life.
This is where my loneliness comes in.
And that's where I'll leave you for now. I feel like there's a lot about me I want to share, but to give it all up in one swoop wouldn't be right.
I look forward to getting to know and talk to many people here. I want to do what I can to help people as well as better myself.

Hi there. I have to say I'd loved to have studied Sports Management at university, that sounds great!

As for girls, remember, despite the fact they have different sexual organs to us, the are just people and talk, laugh, eat and excrete the same as us!!! Okay, that is crude, but it is true. They are not (well, most) monsters. From your post it sounds like you have male friends and your loneliness comes from no female friends, so you obviously have something to you as a person. Talk to a woman who you may encounter in the same way as your male friends, okay, leave out the fart jokes and talking about sport, video games etc etc etc until you know them, but really treat them the same and you will accrue female friends. I find having female friends and then breaking down that 'barrier' is essential. It makes talking to women who I don't know a little easier for me anyways. I am sure there'll be girls on this site who'll show you better than me, but seriously, just remember a girl is a person just the same as us.

hello, and thank you, yes i really do enjoy studying sport management here. and thank you for the advice, you make a lot of sense. sometimes i just need to get out of my own head.

 

[jazzie85]

RJ, it might not entirely help with your fear, but from the experience of having long-term relationships it can be just as lonely whilst in them...! However once you gain enough confidence to get over that initial fear you will hopefully find someone who won't make you feel like that. And we're not all that scary