New Lonely Person

[ImaginaryFriend]

Hello everyone,

I've been lurking here for awhile, but decided to actually register and be a part of the community. I think it will help me to talk to others who feel the same way I do.

Well, I'll try to keep this short! I'm 29, and I've been lonely all my life. When I was younger, I thought that my social life would magically start to form when I became older and automatically "cooler". Well, of course that never happened! I thought I would be "cool" and have lots of friends the older I got, but nope! I still feel like the lonely little girl I always was who was too shy and lacking in confidence to talk to people.

I've had friends in the past, but they never stick. Any friends I made before have disappeared for one reason or another. Usually it's because they have other friends that are more outgoing, funny and sociable.

I try to think about all of my good qualities to perk myself up, but that list is pretty short! The only thing I can feel good about is that I can draw. I usually just draw in anime or cartoon style, and I might do the occasional fan art drawing. So, I might have a future as an artist. That would be my dream! But, even if that happened, I would still be lonely.

I don't care about romantic relationships anymore, just friendships. I'm not opposed to dating someone, but my first (and last) relationship lasted 5 years and that ended a couple of years ago when my boyfriend broke up with me, and started dating a cute blonde shortly afterwards (and I suspect that he cheated on me before he decided to call it quits). I thought that if even if we stopped dating that we would be friends forever, but he stopped contacting me. I guess the new girl was all he needed.

So, I'd rather have friends than lovers because lovers are too fickle. Well, actually my experience has proven that friends can be fickle, too! But, I'd just feel safer establishing a friendship over a romantic one.

I guess I might have abandonment issues. I always feel like anybody I meet or become friends with will stop contacting me at some point. My life experience hasn't proven anything to the contrary. And, I'm 90% convinced that I'll be alone (and lonely) forever. If things haven't turned around for me in the past despite putting myself out there, then maybe I should resign myself to being a loner.

Well, I thought I was going to make this short, but I guess not. Thank you all for taking the time to read this!

 

[ImaginaryFriend]

Welcome aboard The Lonely Life forum, ImaginaryFriend.

Thank you, Cosmic Kid!

 

[diamond-dancer]

And, I'm 90% convinced that I'll be alone (and lonely) forever. If things haven't turned around for me in the past despite putting myself out there, then maybe I should resign myself to being a loner.

Then that's a 10% chance you won't be! =)

Hello and welcome. I hope I haven't imagined this post.

 

[Blue Sky]

Hi Imaginary Friend, and welcome to the forum.

 

[mink]

Hello ImaginaryFriend, welcome

 

[Red26]

Hi Imaginary Friend,

Welcome to the Forum, pleased to meet you =-)

 

[evilkitten]

I guess I might have abandonment issues. I always feel like anybody I meet or become friends with will stop contacting me at some point. My life experience hasn't proven anything to the contrary. And, I'm 90% convinced that I'll be alone (and lonely) forever. If things haven't turned around for me in the past despite putting myself out there, then maybe I should resign myself to being a loner.

I can relate to this so well. It seems like you work up the courage to actually let go and put it all out there and when you do, you get shot down and it seems to happen time and time again. I'm new here too so hopefully we can both figure out some things and find what we're looking for =) Oh, and welcome =D

 

[JustLost]

Well, I thought I was going to make this short, but I guess not. Thank you all for taking the time to read this!

Welcome. I think you'll find some people to relate to here.

 

[ImaginaryFriend]

I guess I might have abandonment issues. I always feel like anybody I meet or become friends with will stop contacting me at some point. My life experience hasn't proven anything to the contrary. And, I'm 90% convinced that I'll be alone (and lonely) forever. If things haven't turned around for me in the past despite putting myself out there, then maybe I should resign myself to being a loner.

I can relate to this so well. It seems like you work up the courage to actually let go and put it all out there and when you do, you get shot down and it seems to happen time and time again. I'm new here too so hopefully we can both figure out some things and find what we're looking for =) Oh, and welcome =D

Hey, evilkitten! I'm glad you can relate! Being shot down is not fun. I'm just glad I'm not the only one to experience this. My siblings all have friendships that have lasted for years and continues to be going strong to this day. My "friends" have friends that they'd rather hang out with besides me. It's annoying! But, I hope we can both figure out some sort of a solution and get the friendships we deserve!

 

[ImaginaryFriend]

Thank you for the warm welcome, everyone!

 

[QuietInfluence]

Welcome ImaginaryFriend,
That's a cool name you thought of. In the "limited world" that we might imagine or assume we exist in,we fail to realize how really large the opportunities,or infinite the "boundaries" are in our realm of potential to find
whatever type of relationship we can be comfortable in. And you mentioned that you are talented in drawing. No matter how many things we have the ability to do,or the lack thereof,there are so many possibilities of interests,hobbies,abilities,etc that we can learn about. And in learning these,
in the reaching out process to find out; in so many places that offer that learning process,are the ways and means to find new friends. No one has to know that you've gone thru what you've experienced as you grew up,so in the process of reaching out in the learning process and finding out what you want to learn about, how can you NOT acquire new possibilities for new friends in the process? Not everyone is going to respond in the same way;
example....as on here,some just say welcome,some comment on this or that.
You always have the option of weeding out the bad contacts and flow with who you're comfortable with. That seems to work for me.
Hope this helps some.