nemla said:
Hi Miriam, welcome to the forum!
What kind of emotional abuse you’ve taken in that relationship, if u dont mind shareing?
Thanks Nemla, I don't mind sharing, it helps me process it. The emotional abuse varies from:
- Gaslighting (him trying to make me believe that I've done or said something that I KNOW I didn't...or him trying to convince me that he didn't do or say something I KNOW he did)...even if I show him concrete examples or physical proof
- Silent treatment as punishment for some unknown crime I've committed
- Blaming me for things I didn't do or say (or think, omg)...or blaming me for things that have gone wrong in his life
- Trying to start fights with me over nothing, trying to push my buttons to get me upset so he can transfer his negative feelings on to me, then blaming me for "starting a fight" with him - which usually results in silent treatment and:
- Verbal abuse - swearing, name-calling, mocking me, using what I've confided with him against me, telling me he hates everything about me
- Twisting my words around to make himself look like a constant victim and make me feel like I have to constantly apologize and defend myself
- Threatening not to pay his share of the rent (trying to instill fear)
- Criticizing, teasing, nitpicking, "analyzing" my mental health, and if I react, he gets angry, calling me "too sensitive" or "hysterical"
- Shirking his responsibilities and then calling me a "nag" when I ask him to do something
- Withholding affection and sex
- Not communicating, responding with one word replies or non-words such as "meh"
- Not remembering holidays, birthdays or celebrations
I guess that's all I can think of for now.
snflwrgrl said:
I’m glad you are staying so positive. That’s wonderful! You do deserve better. I hope you will consider finding a church once you are in a new town. I couldn’t have gotten through some of the things that have happened to me in my life without it. You’re in my prayers friend. I’m glad you’re on this site now.
Thanks
Being here has helped me so much already!