no social skills

[goodmorning]

Often times I feel like I have no social skills. I am very sarcastic, TMI, and blunt, even when I am having a casual conversation with the checkout girl/guy or an old friend from school. For example...

Old friend from school (who I really want to be friends with): Yeah, I am working at the new burger place.
Me: Oh really? I have heard from a few reliable sources that their food isn't very good! What do you think?
Old friend: Uhm... I'm not sure. I think it's ok?

End conversation.

Or another example:
(scene: vets clinic)

Handsome man: Oh whats that in the box?
Me: My little feline friend. She has a bad case of worms!

End conversation.

I am trying to be very conscious of what I say, like saying "have a good day" back to people instead of just nodding, but things like this just slip out. Oh, the misery!

 

[Blue Bob]

Maybe you could salvage the conversation while you're in it, so you won't feel bad about it later. Throw 'em a compliment and a smile.

 

[Tigershark]

I have a similar issue, though mine is kind of like I don't really like people, & tend to cut conversations short myself. I hardly have any advice on it, really, other than the advice you gave yourself. You just have to be more aware of what's coming out of your mouth. Personally I try to always remember that people love to talk about themselves, & if I can figure a way to steer what they have said into a conversation about them, or give them some sort of compliment in there, the conversation is much more likely to continue.

 

[Lynx]

Hey I can relate, especially to your last sentence. Lately I'm remember to ask people questions back when they ask me one and to hello to people and the like.

 

[jjam]

A nasty combination of a lack of knowledge, experiences, and often interest is what kills my ability in conversations.

For example. I find animals fascinating but I don't study them and I haven't really wanted a pet since I was a child. Even then, I'm not sure if I wanted the dog. I think I just happened to have one. I'm a gamer and I'm honestly thinking about picking up Nintendogs + Cats for 3DS in hopes that I'll learn enough to actually respond to your mentioning of your cat's worms, for example, with something more interesting than what I'm about to say my likely response would have been. Okay. Here it goes.

Me: Oh no! (as if I really care. Lack of interest).
Have you been to a vet? (not knowing what a person should do for a cat in this situation. Lack of knowledge! Lack of experience.)

It really would just become an interview that I am only doing for the sake of FIGHTING this problem I have with talking to people about a great number of things. Now, some might think my response wasn't bad. But what I FEEL about the interaction is that it was just plain *****y, or *****y and plain if you prefer.

YOU weren't bad in your response. It was THAT PERSON who had nothing good to follow up with. The startup wasn't even that great but it got you to raise an idea that COULD be a very interesting subject depending on who you're dealing with. It all just goes back to the idea that common ground/mutual interests and KNOWLEDGE goes a long way in building good conversations.

edit:
I just realized you said you were at a vet's clinic when you mentioned your cat's condition. Welp. Time to hit the emergency eject button...