Nostalgia or bitterness...

[hye345]

I’m not exactly sure which section this belongs in, but here we go…

I’ve been using online dating for a while, and have had moderate success; my standards aren’t that high for simply going out with someone/fooling around, but as far as an actual exclusive relationship, there are several ‘preferences’ that must be observed. As a result, I’ve gone out with lots of girls, but haven’t gotten serious (physical or otherwise) with most of them.

Anyway, about a month ago, I started messaging this one girl. We couldn’t meet right away because of car trouble on her end, so for about a month we texted a lot. It was clear that there was chemistry: we had a lot of the same interests, same tastes, same style of humor, etc… In short, this was a girl that I could actually see myself being in an exclusive relationship with.

About a week ago, we finally met up at a local bar and had a few drinks. It was a fun enough first date, lots of laughs and stories. However, the next few days I noticed that the texting had eased up on her end, so I figured I would take the initiative and ask her out again. She said that she had decided to see where things go with this other guy she had met.

Now, I’m not naïve enough to think that we were “in love” or anything: we had both mentioned other people that we were seeing, so the news wasn’t a complete shocker. In addition, I had said the same thing to another girl that I had gone out with a few months prior, so I understood where she was coming from: she didn’t wanna lead me on.

Given all this, I still felt a bit stung. Not at her, but at the situation. I’m wondering: when something good is taken away (either a romantic prospect, or an otherwise good situation), do you guys look back with nostalgia at how you felt, or bitterness now that it’s gone?

 

[Boston Lager]

In all of my 'romantic' endeavors I look back and feel embarrassment. I find it easier to assume I fudged up even when I know there were times I was in the right. Bitterness is saved for childhood memories because I only remember the worst from that time. Nostalgia is probably for high school.

Sorry to hear about that girl OP.

 

[ardour]

Nostalgia but also resentment over time wasted. That also applies to friendships that never got off the ground.

 

[Evil_Genius]

Nostalgia, it didn't work out, but it lead me to here and to who I am.

I like who I am. I have earned who I am and I am happy where I am.

The bad bits made me react in certain ways which led to good bits.

Pointless being bitter about the past, you can do smeg all about it, you may as well use the lessons learned to force a better future.

 

[Walley]

I think most things like this start with bitterness and end up feeling nostalgic over time.

 

[Dissident]

Bitterness and resentment. Not necessarily because the relationships failed, but because of why. I would be cheated on with drug addicts, alcoholics, and domestic abusers. I would be told that I'm "not confident enough" or that I'm "not ready yet." One can only take being fed so much bullshit.