But at the same time, I almost am. I'm 18 (turned on June 5th) and hadn't even gotten my license until just recently. Not to mention a car. So, as I'm sure you can imagine, for years I've drempt about my parents FINALLY letting me do this, and now they have!!!!!! I love the freedom it gives me. I live in a small, country town, so a car is a necessity to get anywhere. It really gives me a lot of freedom, it's great! But at the same time, it isn't as exciting as it should or could be...Having a car is nice, but not if you don't have anywhere to go...
I've lost seemingly all my friends, except for one good friend, Alex. I've mentioned him in threads before, as my "no friends" perdicament as well, too. I'm really glad I have him as such a good friend, though. The guy at least stops by to hang for a bit just about every single day. He's a great friend. But at the same time, we naturally have different schedules and can't ALWAYS chill with one another. So, there'll be entire days where I have the money/ability to hang with someone or do something while he's busy, but I simply can't...Cus I don't have anyone else, currently. Or a job right now. I have about 3 to 5 random acquaintances, but they have their own lives and are usually VERY busy. It's a bummer for me sometimes. Maybe I just hate being alone? Idk what the deal is....It just gets very lonely. And my family is also not a part of any clubs around here, like the country or rec. club or any gyms. So, other than cruising to different spots in town, even when i DO go out, I have nowhere to go to confer among other people =/ Kinda a lose, lose situation.
Anyhow...Alex and I were in the same group of friends this past school year. He is still friends with all those people and hangs with them here and there. I stopped tagging along steadily about 6 months ago until now, finally, I don't at all. It's not because I think they hate me, no. It's just, they apparently aren't interested in continuing a friendship or anything with me. I put in a lot of effort. Being outgoing and warm, kind, etc. But I was always getting left out of things. I was simply the "forgotten" person in the group, honestly. And to make things worse... Ever since prom when my date decided to spread lies about me being crazy, everyone has basically shunned me completely from everything. There is also a real ******* in the "group" named Garrett. He certainly does his fair sure of over-exaggerating stories and making me look like a complete ass, simply because he and i have our differences. So, out of a group of 15 or so people, except for Alex, I don't speak to a single one of them any more. They never included me in much, and would always blame it on the fact that the schools seperating was the reason to blame. But I was at their school for the first half of the day and saw them everyday...Just whatever, fresia them...Anyhow
I hope my "problem" here isn't misinterpreted. I don't have a problem coping or getting over what happened. Nah. I just simply am now, very lonely, I've come to find. I was just stating these things to help everyone understand my story and how I've gotten to this point. Though it does upset me a little that I was so unincluded all the time, it really doesn't bother me anymore. It's just my total boredom and loneliness. Very irksome.
I'd really like to meet a girl. I've been working on my confidence for a long time, and I hope that my new car and soon-to-begin job will give me even more confidence to land a girl. I know that making more "friends" at this point is pretty much impossible in this town, so I guess finding a summer girl is my best bet. I've been working on convincing myself that there IS NOT anything wrong with me or anything that makes me incapable of loving or being with someone else. I used to really think that.....Idk. It's work in progress.
I just thought I'd post about this. I'm just very bored and very lonely seemingly all the time, except for when I'm hanging with Alex. "Fixing" things with the people in that group isn't an option at this point. So I don't consider that something I should "do". I guess the best advice I'd like to ask for, is on how I can find a girl in this town? I'm a little shy, and have a little trouble looking people in the eyes, but sometimes I do just fine. Idk man. Advice?
I've lost seemingly all my friends, except for one good friend, Alex. I've mentioned him in threads before, as my "no friends" perdicament as well, too. I'm really glad I have him as such a good friend, though. The guy at least stops by to hang for a bit just about every single day. He's a great friend. But at the same time, we naturally have different schedules and can't ALWAYS chill with one another. So, there'll be entire days where I have the money/ability to hang with someone or do something while he's busy, but I simply can't...Cus I don't have anyone else, currently. Or a job right now. I have about 3 to 5 random acquaintances, but they have their own lives and are usually VERY busy. It's a bummer for me sometimes. Maybe I just hate being alone? Idk what the deal is....It just gets very lonely. And my family is also not a part of any clubs around here, like the country or rec. club or any gyms. So, other than cruising to different spots in town, even when i DO go out, I have nowhere to go to confer among other people =/ Kinda a lose, lose situation.
Anyhow...Alex and I were in the same group of friends this past school year. He is still friends with all those people and hangs with them here and there. I stopped tagging along steadily about 6 months ago until now, finally, I don't at all. It's not because I think they hate me, no. It's just, they apparently aren't interested in continuing a friendship or anything with me. I put in a lot of effort. Being outgoing and warm, kind, etc. But I was always getting left out of things. I was simply the "forgotten" person in the group, honestly. And to make things worse... Ever since prom when my date decided to spread lies about me being crazy, everyone has basically shunned me completely from everything. There is also a real ******* in the "group" named Garrett. He certainly does his fair sure of over-exaggerating stories and making me look like a complete ass, simply because he and i have our differences. So, out of a group of 15 or so people, except for Alex, I don't speak to a single one of them any more. They never included me in much, and would always blame it on the fact that the schools seperating was the reason to blame. But I was at their school for the first half of the day and saw them everyday...Just whatever, fresia them...Anyhow
I hope my "problem" here isn't misinterpreted. I don't have a problem coping or getting over what happened. Nah. I just simply am now, very lonely, I've come to find. I was just stating these things to help everyone understand my story and how I've gotten to this point. Though it does upset me a little that I was so unincluded all the time, it really doesn't bother me anymore. It's just my total boredom and loneliness. Very irksome.
I'd really like to meet a girl. I've been working on my confidence for a long time, and I hope that my new car and soon-to-begin job will give me even more confidence to land a girl. I know that making more "friends" at this point is pretty much impossible in this town, so I guess finding a summer girl is my best bet. I've been working on convincing myself that there IS NOT anything wrong with me or anything that makes me incapable of loving or being with someone else. I used to really think that.....Idk. It's work in progress.
I just thought I'd post about this. I'm just very bored and very lonely seemingly all the time, except for when I'm hanging with Alex. "Fixing" things with the people in that group isn't an option at this point. So I don't consider that something I should "do". I guess the best advice I'd like to ask for, is on how I can find a girl in this town? I'm a little shy, and have a little trouble looking people in the eyes, but sometimes I do just fine. Idk man. Advice?
btw, im 25 and i'd never had a gf before.
