Not really sure how to feel...it gets so old.

[linda]

I don't know, I guess I'm a bit of a mess here. I've been picking at the Facebook "scab" for awhile now...I log in to what was once a fairly lively place so I can see that no, I still don't have any messages, and that someone has just "liked" the post I put up 4 days ago, but evidently not enough to say anything...
Thing is, I should have known that it wouldn't last, it never does. It's as if God, or Fate has decided that I can only have a taste, never more than that. Just enough to make the inevitable loss all the more painful.
I don't live alone, I have a husband, and my youngest still at home. But Hell, I can be completely alone in a roomful of people! Yes, I have that skill!
You know what I think about sometimes? Sounds stupid, but I think about the fact that there won't be a lot of attendees at my funeral. I'm not talking NOW...don't get me wrong, the one thing I am not is suicidal, I'm much too stubborn a ***** to give the world the satisfaction, but I think about that, and I'm glad that by the time it happens, I'll be dead anyway so it won't have to bother me.
I wish I was a misanthrope. That would make the lack of interaction a good thing. But I guess that I DO want to have people with me, as hard a time as I have with that. And I'll confess, there IS a certain masochistic satisfaction at logging back in there, just pulling back that big, juicy scab one more time..."See? No one wants to talk to you, and the few that did don't see you anymore because you've become invisible."
The thing is, I'm always told how great I am to talk to...they'll say, "Oh God, I can tell you anything-this is so great!", and blah, blah, blah. Then, when the crisis has passed, away they go...
honeysuckle. If I had known this when I was 20, I'd have gone to school and gotten my psychology degree. Then I could just bill their asses for wasting my time.
I enjoy writing, but seem to have lost the creative "Ummph!". The muse is still there, but she's on life support. I seem unable to act. I feel completely ineffective in my world, and am now afraid to take ANY chances...I'm just sort of sitting back and waiting for the whole awful little drama to play itself out.
I'm actually not sure why I'm posting this, there really isn't a central point to it. It's more like just random ranting. But perhaps this is what I need to do.

 

[lonely_visionary]

I wish I was a misanthrope. That would make the lack of interaction a good thing.

I can so relate! If I could take a pill to make me love being alone, my life would be SO much easier. Yet I want to be with people, despite not fitting in, and that is the source of all my problems.

I'm actually not sure why I'm posting this, there really isn't a central point to it. It's more like just random ranting. But perhaps this is what I need to do.

I know that feeling too. Yesterday I started a blog of all those things that I want to say that nobody would want to read - some angry, some deep,some stupid - and I ended up writing 21 posts on the first day.... and there is not a single follower (despite posting it on FaceBook

Well I for one am glad you posted here. Thanks.

 

[upanddownlikeayoyo]

I understand with the feeling lonely in a room full of people. Horrible feeling.

I also get similar to being told how great you are. I'm such a nice friendly polite guy apparently, but just passing comments.

I think like yourself i'm just waiting for it all to play out and hope for a bit of luck and that I meet someone who shows an interest in me.

Best wishes and will be interested in seeing how things work out for you.

 

[biscuits]

Hi linda. How are you today?

I wish I was a misanthrope. That would make the lack of interaction a good thing.

Even misanthropes need their kin, and it's an even lonelier path.

I'm actually not sure why I'm posting this, there really isn't a central point to it. It's more like just random ranting. But perhaps this is what I need to do.

Random is good, no such thing as structured venting ;P

Don't count on fb as a legit source of happiness, Linda. Disable it and do something creative. Join a creative writing forum instead.

Yet I want to be with people, despite not fitting in, and that is the source of all my problems.

+1!

 

[athwart]

When I talk to people about my life, people will tell me "Yeah, I saw that on your FB page." I'm always slightly suprised, b/c I don't think anyone is paying attention.

I think people do see your posts. Some people don't talk on the internet so much in reply to things. I'm generally a lurker myself, here and other places.

 

[SenjiiDragon]

If I had known this when I was 20, I'd have gone to school and gotten my psychology degree. Then I could just bill their asses for wasting my time.

This made me lol.

I deactivated my facebook not too long ago. I realized that I had the phone numbers of everyone I wanted to talk to. Now, whenever I want to talk to a friend, I just call or text them. I don't have to sit there, waiting for people to come online or do something interesting. I can be proactive and contact them first.

 

[linda]

Thanks guys! I think the worst part of having people drift in and out of your life like flotsam and jetsam is that you get no continuity. I don't know, maybe this is just the way that society is evolving, and the ones that CAN deal with it will be successful, and the others, (like me) will just go the way of the dinosaurs...I suppose in a world where you get so much information every day that it would be a good survival skill to be able to take hold and let go freely and often, otherwise your brain would explode. (Or you'll be a total neurotic, like me...*sigh!*)

 

[biscuits]

I suffer from information overload too, I taught myself some tricks to cope:

Take 10 mins, scan email from the last day, and decide which newsletters / mailing lists you can drop. Be brutal. If you umm and aah about one, drop it. You can always subscribe again next week if you really feel like you miss it. Be brutal.

Say 'screw it', sit back, and completely tune out and do something IRL (In Real Life) for a day or two. I like to learn a new recipe and pretend I'm making a meal for Alice and the Mad Hatter. Crazy stockings, hat and apron optional.

Can't think of any more ATM *sigh* ^^

 

[akyia]

hi Linda! i have some friends on facebook. but they aren't really my friends--i mean they hardly talk with me on real life. maybe they're acquaintances. sometimes i want to delete all the people that aren't really my friends. but i don't want to cut my friends list down to 3 or 4. people rarely reply to my status or anything. yeah, it reminds me that i'm missing out on relationships.

i used to write more--mostly journal. but i also wrote poems and short stories. but i've lost motivation to write. i don't think i'm "good" at it. i wish i had some talents.

that must be difficult--people just telling you their problems and not being there for you.

nobody tells me their problems; but sometimes people listen to mine. maybe i'm no good at "helping" or encouraging other people. maybe they think i'm too messed up.

sorry i'm just writing about myself. i'm just trying to say i can relate.

 

[lonewolf93]

Hey Linda! I'm happy you've joined this forum. I'm sure there are people who will do their best to help you feel better and maybe find a clue on how to change something in your life and make it less lonely. I'm one of these people, or at least I'll try to become one of them

I know how you feel. Facebook is just like any other social network although there are more things to 'like'. It's very comical how people only push the stupid button without putting any further thought to it. They make it to feel better themselves because when they do so they think they're socializing with you or me (the person who posted something to be 'liked'). In fact it's not only you that feels that way. Those people from whom you aren't getting any messages feel the same. They want you to take initiative, too, because they post things they want to be liked AND commented... just like you and me.

Facebook is a phenomena which is hard to understand. The rules are simple, there are little restrictions. Bud does it serve its purpose? I'm not sure.

I love the idea of misantrophia. It's been so long now that I want to become a misantroph... I try to convince myself about it but it's too hard. I'd like a pill!!!