BunnyNumber8
Active member
I started to panick today for the most stupid reason in the world .__.;
As mentionned in another thread awhile back, I dropped out of a college program I had been undergoing for 4 years, yes very close to graduating, dropped out because, I hated it, I couldn't take it anymore and I just didnt have the skills for it...when you have no social skills, faking them is rather hard :/ and there will be a breaking point...I'm just too shy, and socially awkward with too much anxiety to be a teacher...
After 1 month of staying home and doing nothing while lamenting over myself, I decided to take things into my own hands and start all over again..so I found a job and worked for 2 months and a half, right before the holydays and I got accepted in translation in college and it's a 3 year degree..
So here's the big issue, since I got accepted late, most classes for winter 2011 are full so instead of being a full time student I'm only part time and managed to get 3 classes.....and that is depressing me greatly..because it means I'm waisting valuable time .....
Because of this I'll graduate in fall 2013 at the age of 27 instead of winter 2013 at the age of 26 ........it sounds stupid doesnt it....but I'm obsessing over how old I become when I finally get my degree and start looking for a job...
I also feel intimidated by younger students......I hate this...it's stupid things to worry about....but the longer it takes for me to start my own life finally, the harder it is to bare it...
At least with a job I can meet people, buy my own place, make new friends ect...and not be stuck at home.
Are people who are lonely always like this ? Thinking about their biological clock........there's so much pressure in society nowadays ...everything has to be done quickly, get a job, have a family, pay your morgage, think about retirement....all these things frighten me....I hate thinking about them ...I also worry about my parents.. I mean how long can I stay with them o__O;;;; I'll go crazy if not them before me...all the negative comments, the nagging , the dissapointment -__-;;;;
The longer it takes me to graduate, the older I get and the more uneasy it becomes to stay in such an environment....alone, jobless, struggling at school and watching the clock tick and seeing hours pass by while my friends and family gain success after success ......my parents are lying now when they are asked why I'm not working yet..you know once you graduate obviously after a certain time you should be able to find a job in the domain you studied whether it's part time, full time or even a contract......they're so ashamed of me for quitting and I feel like such a loser :_(
I should be happy starting back from scratch and doing something I like for a change but.....I still don't feel any happier....I keep telling myself that the past is passed and I should think about the future and the more I think about it, the more frightened I am and I start thinking about how many years I waisted and how long it's gonna take to fix them and then I start to panick and start doing stupid things which led me in this situation in the 1st place...such a vicious cycle
So....do you guys get nervous thinking about the future and how time is flowing faster and faster and you feel like you're just sitting there waiting to get old and realise that you could have done so much....
As mentionned in another thread awhile back, I dropped out of a college program I had been undergoing for 4 years, yes very close to graduating, dropped out because, I hated it, I couldn't take it anymore and I just didnt have the skills for it...when you have no social skills, faking them is rather hard :/ and there will be a breaking point...I'm just too shy, and socially awkward with too much anxiety to be a teacher...
After 1 month of staying home and doing nothing while lamenting over myself, I decided to take things into my own hands and start all over again..so I found a job and worked for 2 months and a half, right before the holydays and I got accepted in translation in college and it's a 3 year degree..
So here's the big issue, since I got accepted late, most classes for winter 2011 are full so instead of being a full time student I'm only part time and managed to get 3 classes.....and that is depressing me greatly..because it means I'm waisting valuable time .....
Because of this I'll graduate in fall 2013 at the age of 27 instead of winter 2013 at the age of 26 ........it sounds stupid doesnt it....but I'm obsessing over how old I become when I finally get my degree and start looking for a job...
I also feel intimidated by younger students......I hate this...it's stupid things to worry about....but the longer it takes for me to start my own life finally, the harder it is to bare it...
At least with a job I can meet people, buy my own place, make new friends ect...and not be stuck at home.
Are people who are lonely always like this ? Thinking about their biological clock........there's so much pressure in society nowadays ...everything has to be done quickly, get a job, have a family, pay your morgage, think about retirement....all these things frighten me....I hate thinking about them ...I also worry about my parents.. I mean how long can I stay with them o__O;;;; I'll go crazy if not them before me...all the negative comments, the nagging , the dissapointment -__-;;;;
The longer it takes me to graduate, the older I get and the more uneasy it becomes to stay in such an environment....alone, jobless, struggling at school and watching the clock tick and seeing hours pass by while my friends and family gain success after success ......my parents are lying now when they are asked why I'm not working yet..you know once you graduate obviously after a certain time you should be able to find a job in the domain you studied whether it's part time, full time or even a contract......they're so ashamed of me for quitting and I feel like such a loser :_(
I should be happy starting back from scratch and doing something I like for a change but.....I still don't feel any happier....I keep telling myself that the past is passed and I should think about the future and the more I think about it, the more frightened I am and I start thinking about how many years I waisted and how long it's gonna take to fix them and then I start to panick and start doing stupid things which led me in this situation in the 1st place...such a vicious cycle
So....do you guys get nervous thinking about the future and how time is flowing faster and faster and you feel like you're just sitting there waiting to get old and realise that you could have done so much....