Okay, well, this is sort of a long story but I'll try to make it as short as possible.
I have been with my boyfriend for ten months, now. We moved in together after four months because we both found ourselves in a situation where we needed to move out of our previous homes. We couldn't find anybody else who needed to move out so we just decided that we'd move in together.
At the beginning of our relationship my boyfriend would always talk about this other girl. Just because he talked about her so much I asked him a simple question - "were you guys together at one point?" and he said no. Over the next few months, people would come up to me and talk about this girl and my boyfriend and I would just ignore it. Eventually I asked him a second and a third time if they had been together and he still said no.
I had been lied to a lot in my previous relationship so I have always told my present boyfriend that lying is one thing that I just won't take in a relationship anymore. Since my boyfriend would always brag about how he'd "never ever ever have a facebook!" I started to get suspicious, and decided to make a facebook and look him up. I looked him up and found pictures of him and the other girl making out. The whole profile was dedicated to her and him.
I shut down my facebook and asked him about it. He just said "you made me lie to you."
I asked how and he said "because I didn't think you'd let me be friends with her or that you'd start to think you were uglier than her and your self esteem would go down."
So, instead of getting an apology, I got blamed for his lie. I'm not the type of person who would take his friends away from him, so I don't understand why he'd say that to me. Futhermore, I don't see why he'd think I'd look at her and think I was uglier or get jealous over her looks or something like that? I'm not happy about my looks, but it doesn't mean I'm jealous of others.
I just want to see what some people's thoughts are on this. Do I have a valid reason to be upset at him? I try to talk about it, but he doesn't let me because it's "now in the past."
Do you think that something is still going on between them because of his reaction, or do you think he just panicked at the time?
do you believe that once a liar, always a liar? Because right now I feel too afraid to trust him, which he's getting upset about, but since I've been lied to I feel like I can't believe anything he says anymore.
Am I doing the right thing by not trusting him?
I'm so confused!!!
I have been with my boyfriend for ten months, now. We moved in together after four months because we both found ourselves in a situation where we needed to move out of our previous homes. We couldn't find anybody else who needed to move out so we just decided that we'd move in together.
At the beginning of our relationship my boyfriend would always talk about this other girl. Just because he talked about her so much I asked him a simple question - "were you guys together at one point?" and he said no. Over the next few months, people would come up to me and talk about this girl and my boyfriend and I would just ignore it. Eventually I asked him a second and a third time if they had been together and he still said no.
I had been lied to a lot in my previous relationship so I have always told my present boyfriend that lying is one thing that I just won't take in a relationship anymore. Since my boyfriend would always brag about how he'd "never ever ever have a facebook!" I started to get suspicious, and decided to make a facebook and look him up. I looked him up and found pictures of him and the other girl making out. The whole profile was dedicated to her and him.
I shut down my facebook and asked him about it. He just said "you made me lie to you."
I asked how and he said "because I didn't think you'd let me be friends with her or that you'd start to think you were uglier than her and your self esteem would go down."
So, instead of getting an apology, I got blamed for his lie. I'm not the type of person who would take his friends away from him, so I don't understand why he'd say that to me. Futhermore, I don't see why he'd think I'd look at her and think I was uglier or get jealous over her looks or something like that? I'm not happy about my looks, but it doesn't mean I'm jealous of others.
I just want to see what some people's thoughts are on this. Do I have a valid reason to be upset at him? I try to talk about it, but he doesn't let me because it's "now in the past."
Do you think that something is still going on between them because of his reaction, or do you think he just panicked at the time?
do you believe that once a liar, always a liar? Because right now I feel too afraid to trust him, which he's getting upset about, but since I've been lied to I feel like I can't believe anything he says anymore.
Am I doing the right thing by not trusting him?
I'm so confused!!!