One among the many

[Boreal]

This struck a chord with me because it's how I feel pretty much every single day. Sometimes I just quietly tuck my heart away and go about my business while everyone else matches up and enjoys the "birds of a feather" effect, and other days I feel confident being a member of an essentially extinct type of bird.

Mostly, I feel bad when I have days like this and have to look at everyone around me enjoying people who think and feel the way they do.

the artist is here

 

[Regumika]

other days I feel confident being a member of an essentially extinct type of bird.

Contrary to belief.. This "extinct" type of bird is actually quite abundant and alive. It's actually almost impossible to make them extinct. However, it looks that way because this type of bird do not reveal themselves, so you think they don't exist.

But I know exactly what you mean, all too well.

 

[Boreal]

other days I feel confident being a member of an essentially extinct type of bird.

Contrary to belief.. This "extinct" type of bird is actually quite abundant and alive. It's actually almost impossible to make them extinct. However, it looks that way because this type of bird do not reveal themselves, so you think they don't exist.

But I know exactly what you mean, all too well.

I've actually joined communities for that type of bird on multiple occasions, talked about myself, and found few to none to relate to on a meaningful level.

I was in a member of several communities revolving around a topic for years, on and off. I found a few temporary friends and one person who really understands the perspective I went in with. We're great friends, but he's a really social guy (went to a lot of offline meets and everything) and he knows maybe 1-2 other people with our approach. He gave up and left, too, feeling out of place and misunderstood after having been publicly mocked at a meet for his beliefs. Not by an individual, but by the group.

I wish it was just that I hadn't tried hard enough to make myself noticeable and connect. I haven't been sitting here wallowing in misery all my life, I've been trying to find a place where I belong and people who get the way I think. I don't like feeling this way, but I largely keep to myself now because I've been doing it all my life and I'm tired. There were some successes when I was younger and less distinct, but I'm only drifting further as I age.

Could I have been more outspoken and clear in my search? Yes. Did anyone else have to be as persistent as I was to find people to relate to? No.

 

[johnny196775]

I gave you reputation because you are hurting and i just do not know what else i can do. If there is anything let me know.

 

[Wanderer145]

I can't but help feel as you get older and not much is changing despite your efforts you see people throwing the minimum effort and getting huge returns when it comes to socialising and relationships. Many don't even try and they get all they need. So what about this extinct type of bird? The one that does try and try but is shot down everytime they try? You learn from it and get back up mend your wings and take off again. You have to because after crashing all the time you get better at mending you see?

I try to just look through people when I'm outdoors if I encounter streets and streets full of couples just dont let your eyes fix on them just look onwards or at the surroundings. Maybe its just me but it makes it easier to not look and then compare to yourself. These days feels like I've been left behind in life while I watch people find the people they want to be around have relationships as its something they've never been without. Days are repeating themselves over and over and some days I think I can change this I can get what I want and others I'm reminded that I'm going nowhere.

 

[Gravely]

It has never brought me comfort that there are other lonely people out there. The first thing you think when someone says 'lonely people are everywhere', you think 'Man, we should get together.' But would you? You know other lonely people, maybe you've seen them at work, and you can identify them easily most of the time. You sometimes think of them as weird, secretly of course, but you know their pain. Yet you pretend to be above them so you won't be outed. Lonely people run into each other constantly, yet we are still alone.

Do you know why this is? It's because we're wired differently. We want to be alone, yet in our weaker moments, we thirst for contact from the social world. We may have work aquaintences that someday might be friends, and we avoid their advances. We hate being alone, but we can't find others, and secretly we don't want to. Now, we may put on a good show and pretend to be sociable for years, we may even attain significant others and kids, but the day will come when we will return to our nature. From that day forward, we will once again walk the earth alone. It's what we are.

A sad story, but a true one.