I guess I’m probably making a bigger deal out of this than I should but this has messed my head up for a while now and don’t really have anyone I can explain the situation to.
A while ago I started a new job evening work in a call centre just for a bit of extra cash through college.
Before I started in there I said to myself that I wouldn’t go here and make any friends, I had a full time job before that and I was in the place for years through that I made many friends, or at least I thought I did. I guess I get attached to people too easily I seen them as friends I guess I was just a work mate to them. Eventually I lost my job and a lot of good people. It really hurt me man took me ages to get over it and once I did I said never again.
While working in my new job I met a girl. Not usually the type of person I would get on with, I’m a mad dirty hippy with hair down to my arse she was a trendy kinda girl, you know like Gucci sun glasses and Prada bags not really my style =P
I often use/sell drugs mostly cannabis but I’m big on psychedelics, I always get sceptical of new people wanting to be friends, I always think it’s just to try and score some free stuff or whatever. Anyway we started hanging out we became really close we were practically living together for a year. I never felt used at any point from her she would always pay her share or at least try to if I was refusing to take any cash from her.
We had a day out during summer; I think it’s a day I’ll never forget. I introduced her to LSD (she uses other stuff mdma speed etc. so I didn’t feel like I was pushing her in to anything). It was an amazing day we lay about in the park sun shining everyone around was happy. That day she told me she never felt as safe with one else than she did with me, we talked a lot about us as friends and she told me we would be friends for life. At this point I had left the work place where we met but we were still seeing each other every day, so I believed what she was saying and I really thought I had found a best friend.
At one point her flat mate left her without saying anything she was left stuck no money etc. I wouldn’t like to see anyone in that situation but with her being my best friend I had to do something so I lent her the money to cover her rent, bills and food. I got the money back of course but I just wanted her to know that she could rely on me for anything.
One Saturday we had been sitting up all night talking. We were running out of alcohol and all that was left was a bottle of vodka. Now I can’t drink vodka it changes me in to someone I’m not ive ended up spending a few nights in a cell because of that stuff. I was not thinking straight that morning. We decided to start on the vodka this is where things turned to honeysuckle. One minuet I’m sitting with her, the nest thing I know I’m in my house alone and no idea how I got there, I’m still missing a good few hours of that day. I got a text message from her saying “you’ve really scared the honeysuckle out of me today, pls get home safe”. I have no idea what I’ve done. This was a few months ago. I didn’t have the confidence to get back in contact with her, was it really that bad that it ended our friend ship? I feel like such a dick. This is 100% my fault.
A couple of months past and I got a message from her, a bit soppy to be honest but it made me feel good and I really believed we would be meeting up again, she told me im one of the most genuine people shes ever met and dosnt want to loose me. We talked for a bit just over text message and she invited me up to her house. Now this is the bit that’s really got me she told me to come over one weekend, I was really looking forward to seeing her again. I sent her a message on Saturday morning just to see if she was still up for it and I got no reply, nothing not a thing. I was gutted that she would do that to me. Again I heard nothing from her. I heard nothing from her over xmas not even a merry Christmas text. One day out of the blue I get a message just asking if I have any LSD for sale. I didn’t have any in at that time but I still tried again to make plans to meet up, she always seems in to it but now it never materialises.
I guess at the end of the day I just miss my friend but it’s really left me feeling like the whole time I was just being taken for a fool. Was everything she said bullshit? It’s looking that way.
I have now deleted her number from my phone; I don’t use any Facebook or anything so now I have no way to get in contact with her. I dunno if that was the right thing to do.
I know this was a long one but if you read it thanks
I dunno what I’m looking for from this post but I just needed somewhere to off load this honeysuckle its really getting me down these days.
A while ago I started a new job evening work in a call centre just for a bit of extra cash through college.
Before I started in there I said to myself that I wouldn’t go here and make any friends, I had a full time job before that and I was in the place for years through that I made many friends, or at least I thought I did. I guess I get attached to people too easily I seen them as friends I guess I was just a work mate to them. Eventually I lost my job and a lot of good people. It really hurt me man took me ages to get over it and once I did I said never again.
While working in my new job I met a girl. Not usually the type of person I would get on with, I’m a mad dirty hippy with hair down to my arse she was a trendy kinda girl, you know like Gucci sun glasses and Prada bags not really my style =P
I often use/sell drugs mostly cannabis but I’m big on psychedelics, I always get sceptical of new people wanting to be friends, I always think it’s just to try and score some free stuff or whatever. Anyway we started hanging out we became really close we were practically living together for a year. I never felt used at any point from her she would always pay her share or at least try to if I was refusing to take any cash from her.
We had a day out during summer; I think it’s a day I’ll never forget. I introduced her to LSD (she uses other stuff mdma speed etc. so I didn’t feel like I was pushing her in to anything). It was an amazing day we lay about in the park sun shining everyone around was happy. That day she told me she never felt as safe with one else than she did with me, we talked a lot about us as friends and she told me we would be friends for life. At this point I had left the work place where we met but we were still seeing each other every day, so I believed what she was saying and I really thought I had found a best friend.
At one point her flat mate left her without saying anything she was left stuck no money etc. I wouldn’t like to see anyone in that situation but with her being my best friend I had to do something so I lent her the money to cover her rent, bills and food. I got the money back of course but I just wanted her to know that she could rely on me for anything.
One Saturday we had been sitting up all night talking. We were running out of alcohol and all that was left was a bottle of vodka. Now I can’t drink vodka it changes me in to someone I’m not ive ended up spending a few nights in a cell because of that stuff. I was not thinking straight that morning. We decided to start on the vodka this is where things turned to honeysuckle. One minuet I’m sitting with her, the nest thing I know I’m in my house alone and no idea how I got there, I’m still missing a good few hours of that day. I got a text message from her saying “you’ve really scared the honeysuckle out of me today, pls get home safe”. I have no idea what I’ve done. This was a few months ago. I didn’t have the confidence to get back in contact with her, was it really that bad that it ended our friend ship? I feel like such a dick. This is 100% my fault.
A couple of months past and I got a message from her, a bit soppy to be honest but it made me feel good and I really believed we would be meeting up again, she told me im one of the most genuine people shes ever met and dosnt want to loose me. We talked for a bit just over text message and she invited me up to her house. Now this is the bit that’s really got me she told me to come over one weekend, I was really looking forward to seeing her again. I sent her a message on Saturday morning just to see if she was still up for it and I got no reply, nothing not a thing. I was gutted that she would do that to me. Again I heard nothing from her. I heard nothing from her over xmas not even a merry Christmas text. One day out of the blue I get a message just asking if I have any LSD for sale. I didn’t have any in at that time but I still tried again to make plans to meet up, she always seems in to it but now it never materialises.
I guess at the end of the day I just miss my friend but it’s really left me feeling like the whole time I was just being taken for a fool. Was everything she said bullshit? It’s looking that way.
I have now deleted her number from my phone; I don’t use any Facebook or anything so now I have no way to get in contact with her. I dunno if that was the right thing to do.
I know this was a long one but if you read it thanks
I dunno what I’m looking for from this post but I just needed somewhere to off load this honeysuckle its really getting me down these days.
