Perm-banned on another forum

[Batman55]

Basically the short version of the events was, in a social anxiety forum, I had a short public exchange with someone... Basically out of sheer curiosity, I asked what brought her to the forum. Let's call this person "Juanita"--not her real username but I want to be careful. I noticed Juanita's profile said she was a social worker for a living, and I was curious how they managed to do that work while having social anxiety. Juanita responded by saying "I don't feel I need to answer to anyone," which I felt was terse.

Rewind a bit: Before this happened, this same person was involved in a tiff with someone else, and Juanita then asked TWICE could a mod please remove her account. Instead, the other person got banned, and the mods did not fulfill Juanita's request. SO.. based on that, I thought asking to have your account removed cannot be done publicly, you have to PM the mods directly to do that. Or so I thought.

My response to Juanita's terse remark was:
"can a mod liek rmve accnt or sumting, dis person mean"
Anyone with half a brain could tell that was sarcastic right?

I went back to the forum today and it says I have been banned.. reason: Requested by user

Date lifted: Never

WTF?!?

I had friends on that forum and discussions ongoing, I certainly did not expect such a silly comment would get me perm-banned, and I expected that if the comment was seen as inflammatory, I would be given a temp-ban. Not over there apparently. F**kers. Sorry, I had to say it.

ME ANGRY

I know one person who has an email address of one of the mods, I've asked if they could help me out, but I doubt it will work.

I want to rejoin and preferably have the ban lifted.. is such a thing possible in your opinion? Anyone?

 

[Alyssia]

I wouldn't bother even trying to have the ban lifted, the mods obviously have a biased view of you, if they banned you for that, they will pretty much ban you for anything.

I assume your a male and she's a female? It really isn't uncommon for males to be banned from a forum when they are perceived as attacking a female member and it doesn't help any if she is friends with mods/admins.

Honestly, why would you degrade or lower yourself, begging to be let back?

Edit: Ipad typos

 

[Batman55]

Why would I ask to be back?

Because there is a chance that they thought my "remove account" request was genuine, and that I actually wanted to be removed. See the "reason" they gave me in the original post.

The reason I think this is possible is because somebody else there was writing occasional prejudiced remarks over the course of years and was warned/temp-banned multiple times for it. It was just recently after a "final warning" they were perm-banned.

But with me, I was *never* warned, never in trouble for anything. It was very sudden and over a mostly harmless comment.

 

[Alyssia]

Why would I ask to be back?

Because there is a chance that they thought my "remove account" request was genuine, and that I actually wanted to be removed. See the "reason" they gave me in the original post.

The reason I think this is possible is because somebody else there was writing occasional prejudiced remarks over the course of years and was warned/temp-banned multiple times for it. It was just recently after a "final warning" they were perm-banned.

But with me, I was *never* warned, never in trouble for anything. It was very sudden and over a mostly harmless comment.

I've known members who were suspected of being trolls and being banned without any kind of warning, it's not uncommon. The comment you made could of be taken as a troll comment, I don't know but that is my guess if that is why you think you were banned in the first place.

However if this person made a public "request" to have her account removed and you quoted her (I'm going to assume that you did) it also could've been taken as harassment, depending if your post was reported or not.

In this case I'm not really sure what your brief community relationship was like with this said Jaunita poster, if it wasn't good then it could have played it's part in your ban.

---

It is very possible you were banned for "Leet speak", totally slipped my mind.

Using Improper English - There are many users on many websites that dislike spelling errors, grammar issues, etc. This includes Leet Speak (7@1k!n9 1!k3 7h!$), Chat Speak (lol, lmao, wtf, etc.), and just plain old misspelling of words.

 

[Stonelands]

People's irrational side tends to really come out on forums I think. It sucks but try not to let it bother you too much.

 

[9006]

I wouldn't bother even trying to have the ban lifted, the mods obviously have a biased view of you, if they banned you for that, they will pretty much ban you for anything.

This really. Rules change from forum to forums; they're not all the same, but then the same can be said for the mods. If one of them took a disliking to anything you said that was kinda the perfect excuse to ban you.

 

[Midnight Sky]

Is Juanita one of those overrated members who has their ass kissed by 90% of the board? Because if so, you're out of luck and probably not worth being there anyway with circle jerkers like that.

 

[Walley]

as midnight sky said. it all depends on who this girl is to them.
most likely she is friends with, or liked by staff there and there isn't a lot you can do.

I had a similar thing happen to me on a forum in the past. a girl there was a friend of mine from long before we went there, but then we got into an argument (not in public)
and all of a sudden she wanted her account deleted and pmed an admin to ask. the admin started asking why and made her explain that she didn't want to be there with me on the site. and so he promptly banned my account without a word! lol. and worst part is, she didn't even care about that site. I was the one who brought her there and it was my home at the time. she forgot about the place shortly afterwards.
I know that if roles were reversed and I had pmed an admin, he would have messaged her and asked her side or told me to get over it or something. but when it's a male against a female.. your chances of ending up on top is fairly slim I would guess.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Obviously whoever banned you didn't like you and took it as a chance to kick you off the board.

 

[lostatsea]

Sarcasm doesn't translate well through text. It flies over many people's heads. I agree it might have been taken seriously. Since it happened to someone before you I'm guessing the mods see it as bullying. The way you typed it definitely implies you were mocking her.

I understand your curiosity with the situation but you need to tread very carefully with situations like that. Psychiatrists have some of the highest suicide rates in the world, and they're supposed to be there helping others deal with the same issues. You can extend that onto a bunch of other professions where you would question how well somebody could perform if they suffer from certain issues. At the same time it puts that person on the defensive, makes them feel bad, because it questions how they could possibly do their job effectively. Legitimate concern or not people don't want to fact that.

 

[Batman55]

Obviously whoever banned you didn't like you and took it as a chance to kick you off the board.

I believe this is probably what happened.

Someone else mentioned that a comment like the one I made could have been read in multiple different ways, with the way I meant it--as sarcastic mockery--only being one way.

I was very foolish to hit send on that one. But I'm still shocked that it ended up the way it did. It just was not running through my mind that some mod who "didn't like me" would use it as a perfect excuse to ban me. Just goes to show that some adults haven't outgrown their need to put someone else down for a temporary boost. You'd think a mod would be more even-keeled, but nope.. cliques and popularity triumph over all.

---

Sarcasm doesn't translate well through text. It flies over many people's heads. I agree it might have been taken seriously. Since it happened to someone before you I'm guessing the mods see it as bullying. The way you typed it definitely implies you were mocking her.

I understand your curiosity with the situation but you need to tread very carefully with situations like that. Psychiatrists have some of the highest suicide rates in the world, and they're supposed to be there helping others deal with the same issues. You can extend that onto a bunch of other professions where you would question how well somebody could perform if they suffer from certain issues. At the same time it puts that person on the defensive, makes them feel bad, because it questions how they could possibly do their job effectively. Legitimate concern or not people don't want to fact that.

The curiousity about what they're on the forum for, was 100% innocent. However the "rmve my accnt" was intended to be a mocking comment.. but sheesh... I've had things many times worse than that said to me in internet forums. That, and the fact that members are warned or given temp bans in that forum pretty often, led me to believe I could indulge my ego a bit in that thread.. like I'd done before without issue. Having a snide attitude here and there is one thing, personal attacks are another. I was clearly in the first category.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Never rub another mans rhubarb. If this moderator is the same person that banned the other member and banned you I doubt they will continue to be a moderator. Unless the admins of the board don't care, but that kind of behaviour eventually catches up with people.

 

[Cavey]

Never rub another mans rhubarb.

Eek! I can promise you I will NEVER rub another man rhubarb?! :O

 

[Gutted]

You will find that on forums like these, some staff tend to be more harsh and less rational then on other types of forums. I don't think it's right as people who use these forums are bound to have behavioural issues and I think we should be here to support eachother when things get rough. But on forums like these, some staff may have issues of their own, which at times might effect their judgement. That's one way to see it anyway. Maybe a staff member was having a bad day and you were in their firing range. I wouldn't let it bother you.

 

[Batman55]

I can't easily let it go, however, especially after I read a post about the website rules written by the moderator. The post was given as a link to another user who requested publicly to have their account deleted (but it never was.) Here is a link to the said post:

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/banning-on-request-32093/

Judging by that, it really makes no sense, what happened. Exploring the forum a bit more, there were a LOT of people asking for an account removal, and all their accounts are still there and unbanned.

So... If I was banned for the sarcastic/mocking tone of that one post, well then, that is effin' ridiculous. If I was banned for another comment, it doesn't make sense either, because offensive posts are always deleted over there.. I had been argumentative and contrary, true, but it was within reasonable bounds.

The more I think about it, the angrier I get...

 

[Batman55]

Thought I would post a quick update if anyone cares

I sent an apologetic message through the grapevine (to one user I talk to in email, who sent it to another user who forwarded it) and today I found the ban was overturned. However I do have a "1 point infraction" which supposedly has some temporary limits to what you can do, not sure what they are yet tho.

I was upset to find that the recipient of my original snide comment ("rmv account, dis person mean").. took me literally. They sent me a PM saying "I'm not a mean person" and then in a different thread, called the whole forum one of the "most toxic and unhelpful sites ever, full of cliques and the requirement to hold a certain mentality. So, goodbye from me." Some of that is actually true... the site is often cliquish and that has always bothered me. However there are some interesting people there, now and then.

But it bothers me that my comment seems like the straw that broke the camel's back. Regardless, I am quite surprised to find that someone who claims to be a professional is so thin-skinned on the internet.. personally I find that peculiar, although there could be good reasons for it that I'm not seeing.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

That's horrible that you were removed from the forum. It's horrible how they didn't pm me to question you about it. Sounds like the person took the question you asked them a little bit too far. You just never know how people will react sometimes.

 

[Batman55]

That's horrible that you were removed from the forum. It's horrible how they didn't pm me to question you about it. Sounds like the person took the question you asked them a little bit too far. You just never know how people will react sometimes.

Thanks. But they let me back on there after I explained myself a bit, through another user who helped me out

I guess the moral of the story for me at least, is to avoid saying stupid things, and be careful with sarcasm.

 

[MTrip]

It is quite possible that the moderator who banned you is on a power trip, if (s)he has also banned other members (or even just one) for a trifling reason. It's politics, man. Along with the cliquishness & mentioned earlier, there is often one person who, as soon as he moves one rung up the ladder of rank, then thinks he is Jesus Christ with a bullet. I've seen that happen before in real life.

 

[Batman55]

It is quite possible that the moderator who banned you is on a power trip, if (s)he has also banned other members (or even just one) for a trifling reason. It's politics, man. Along with the cliquishness & mentioned earlier, there is often one person who, as soon as he moves one rung up the ladder of rank, then thinks he is Jesus Christ with a bullet. I've seen that happen before in real life.

True dat, yo