Please help me, I feel like the bullet of a .50 cal

[opshon]

Don't mind the title but I feel that I can do almost anything except feel attracted enough to talk to a girl. I don't have a crush on anyone, I wouldnt want to but at the same time im attracted to alot of girls. I hang with a group of friends and their seniors. I'm a Junior, its a black school so.... Its alot of thick girls, I love it, I could make a hilarious comment to a girl and say "Girl you got a Fat ***!!!!!!" if someone betted me. I do stupid funny stuff with my friends that some people wouldn't just do because they would probably get embarrassed. Like air jerking off or dancing retardly. I also feel like I get depressed because im lonely 75% all the time and I could get very angry when im agitated enough when im in the state.

Like once I would usually meet my friends in the gym in the morning and they didnt come that morning, so I had no music and there were alot of people. Just hearing convo's made me get agitated because i was depressed that morning. So I went to my first period before the bell ranged for it and laid my head down. So class started and I got really angry because the dude next to me said "Man i dont care about ur attitude, blah blah" and I started to huff and puff hard but I calmed down in about 15 minutes. This was all accomidated by a headache.

Weeks before I made a oath to myself to not be bothered by ignorance and get into pointless fights because I felt it was tearing me down. So a dude asked to use my ipod and he stole it, by leaving when i didnt notice because i was occupied. Today he came to class since then and tried to fight me because I told everyone who wanted to know i felt, that i didnt give a **** about him or what he did and that hes bound to be a failure in a life.


So he thought it would be funny to try to shake my hand and so i told him that it would be best if he goes away. So he basically took that in as a agravation and threatened me and what not. I told him i didnt give a **** and i didnt have time for his stupidity. I tried to stay calm and delete my anger because my adrenaline was pumping so......

I ignored him the rest of the class period because I knew if I fought him I would have gotten suspended or even worse, arrested for fighting over something replacable as a ipod (Classic expecially, i have a touch now, but im just gonna get a iphone 4 soon )

I feel that im either too sane or insane and I don't know what to do with myself, the bigger problem is with women though. I seem to either alienate people and I love doing it but I want a girlfriend. Multiple attempts in the pass were just bad sesions, Hence the name of the topic on my last thread.

Note: Nujabes is usually what calmed me down when i was angry or depressed.

 

[Ian Haines]

"...it's a black school so.... Its alot of thick girls, ..."

That's probably not the best attitude to take, imagining that, because it's a black school, that it will be host to a lot of thick girls?

Welcome aboard, by the way. You think you'll be arrested for forcing the return of your property, but not that he will be arrested if you told the Police that he stole it from you? What do you imagine would happen, were you to tell the Police, because, from what I can tell, you'd be no worse off - and one theft from you will, by doing nothing about it, lead on to further thefts from you, or violence and bullying of you.

Just some thoughts - I'd love to just see you get back your property.

What exactly is it like?...to feel like the bullet of a .50 cal? It's an interesting description.

 

[opshon]

"...it's a black school so.... Its alot of thick girls, ..."

That's probably not the best attitude to take, imagining that, because it's a black school, that it will be host to a lot of thick girls?

Welcome aboard, by the way. You think you'll be arrested for forcing the return of your property, but not that he will be arrested if you told the Police that he stole it from you? What do you imagine would happen, were you to tell the Police, because, from what I can tell, you'd be no worse off - and one theft from you will, by doing nothing about it, lead on to further thefts from you, or violence and bullying of you.

Just some thoughts - I'd love to just see you get back your property.

What exactly is it like?...to feel like the bullet of a .50 cal? It's an interesting description.

I'm black, and its absolutely a guarantee of thickness of the butt in my school and other schools with mostly black people. Not saying I only like black women, because I don't segregate. Its the fact that its mostly whats there.
well A. He sold it.
B. I didn't care about the pod.
C. Noones gonna bully me without me defending myself. So they can try all they want with taunts and verbal bull, but its not gonna get physical and me not do anything. I wont ever be physically abused and just take it. Not me.

D. I feel I am going towards a directions fast and I believe I may resort to prostitutes and stuff like that. Paying for my sex because I don't feel like its worth trying to talk to chicks anymore like their girls. I don't treat girls with too much of a specialty because their just as equal as I am naturally, socially, its whatever. This direction fears me though.

 

[Ian Haines]

Well, I should point out that "thick" also means stupid, in the UK, along with other meanings, so you can see where I mis-trod on that one. I happily apologise for having misunderstood you.

Whether or not you, yourself, were black, by the way, had no bearing on what I said when I saw the reference to the school being a black school. Given that you said it was a black school, I kinda already worked out that you may be black.

Why does the school engage in that segregation, or apartheid policy?

I'd've expected it 40 years ago, in "White" South Africa (a stupid expression for the name of a country or region!), but not in the 21st century.

You've really opened my eyes by referring to this, actually.

What do you mean when you say that the direction in which you may go actually "fears" you? I'm a little lost on what that means. How can a likely future lifestyle feel fear, even symbolically? It's a powerful statement, but I genuinely don't understand it.

Personally, I'd love to see you put a bully on the floor - it must surely be the finest place for bullies to live!

 

[Ak5]

Wow, an all black school (or majority black?). Where's the "civil rights" of no segregation? lol.

Anyway, you gotta keep your cool, don't get agitated, only fight when you really need to.

Why do you seem to alienate people? Is it your agitation? Why you agitated so much?

Do you fear being viewed as "inferior" and therefore are quick to agitate and fight?

 

[opshon]

Well, I should point out that "thick" also means stupid, in the UK, along with other meanings, so you can see where I mis-trod on that one. I happily apologise for having misunderstood you.

Whether or not you, yourself, were black, by the way, had no bearing on what I said when I saw the reference to the school being a black school. Given that you said it was a black school, I kinda already worked out that you may be black.

Why does the school engage in that segregation, or apartheid policy?

I'd've expected it 40 years ago, in "White" South Africa (a stupid expression for the name of a country or region!), but not in the 21st century.

You've really opened my eyes by referring to this, actually.

What do you mean when you say that the direction in which you may go actually "fears" you? I'm a little lost on what that means. How can a likely future lifestyle feel fear, even symbolically? It's a powerful statement, but I genuinely don't understand it.

Personally, I'd love to see you put a bully on the floor - it must surely be the finest place for bullies to live!

Well, I fear that because id never feel love. I'd just be loving Women for their parts and not loving a women. Forever trapped in my own game. Prostitutes would be my last resort.

Wow, an all black school (or majority black?). Where's the "civil rights" of no segregation? lol.

Anyway, you gotta keep your cool, don't get agitated, only fight when you really need to.

Why do you seem to alienate people? Is it your agitation? Why you agitated so much?

Do you fear being viewed as "inferior" and therefore are quick to agitate and fight?

Its that not bad. Its just the area that makes its majority black.


Yeah, thats what I believe in. I wouldnt fight over petty stuff. But I will defend myself.

I seem to alienate people because I think differently and im very open minded. I'll say something funny like, rape is fun, just for the hell of it. Just to see their disgust and laugh. But also yeah, because im alone alot and I don't talk too much if im not surrounded by people i feel comfortable with. Like in 2nd block, AP US history, i barely like anyone in there period but its my strong subject, so i dont talk too much in there.

I'm not quick to fight. My depression and getting agitated makes me angry and makes me wanna yell and let out the anger. I need a outlet, so Nah I haven't fought anyone since a long time ago.

I fear of my future when it comes down to me and women alittle.

 

[shells]

I'll say something funny like, rape is fun, just for the hell of it.

I love it, I could make a hilarious comment to a girl and say "Girl you got a Fat ***!!!!!

That's about as funny as me saying, "I like to chop dicks off."

 

[IgnoredOne]

You might want to consider that communicating with people is a little like 'learning to speak their language.' You're not communicating well as you are trying to speak your language rather than theirs - basically, focus on listening more and understanding how they think, rather than just how you think.

 

[Ak5]

Don't worry about females, just don't drive them away. lol

Anyway, what you got to do now is find other people who say "rape is fun" just to see how others react lol; either you find them or you change and not do that, IMHO. As long as you know that rape is a serious thing, then that's all right, we're all different. Is this why you feel lonely as well? You're not "like everyone else"?

Also, you need an outlet on anger, this is important; try to find something that soothes you and do that as a hobby.

 

[opshon]

I'll say something funny like, rape is fun, just for the hell of it.

I love it, I could make a hilarious comment to a girl and say "Girl you got a Fat ***!!!!!

That's about as funny as me saying, "I like to chop dicks off."

which would be hilarious if you just walked up and said that. I'd probably add "where do you store them? and can I trade mine for a 10 inch?"

---

You might want to consider that communicating with people is a little like 'learning to speak their language.' You're not communicating well as you are trying to speak your language rather than theirs - basically, focus on listening more and understanding how they think, rather than just how you think.

did you study psychology? , I feel your correct, and the reasoning behind that is because i feel that as long as im happy, im good, but that only works for a temporary time.