Pls Read Patient and give me an Advice

[Not Settle]

I loved a girls for past 5 yrs,she also loved me a lot,both are waiting for my settlement. in life.I m person of lovable and open person,and also a angry person which she told me one of my -ve thing is angry and +ve is i m not drinker,smoker,i asked her pls adjust this angreness but i will try to reduce my angry step by step,bt her activity made me a angry more,bcoz of this she did't speak ,communicate to me for past one yrs,
one day i opened her mail just as luck in that i made a communication with her friend she gave me the address and phone number of my girl,i shoked that she worked in a same home town where i lived i get communicated she refused bt finally she made communication to me. in the mean time i got a job bt not a good one to settle,i tried and tried a lot bt i never lose my confident,she also knows that .in the mean time her parents look a boy to her for her marriage.she got confused.i told that l m looking for a another good job u pls explain to that boy that i m not interesed in marrying you bcoz i loved another person.she speak to that boy expect this (loved another person).her family members get involved to that boy(bcoz he have money,govt job etc).i made a communication with her. she told that " i m in confusion".
i said that " Inform to that boy that i loved another person and i want to marry him so pls don't comple me "
bt she refused.ok then inform to your parents about this . that i m not intersted in this marriage
she said to me that how i m say to this my parents in this situation when u are like this bcoz i m not settled( i m searching in another job) hearing this word,i got tensed ,i scold a lot.

with in one or two days i got a good job.i m phoned to her and i m in happy and i think that i going to marry my girl,when i phoned her she said ok fine!when i m leaving from your life,u got good one!fine. i explained that don't make wrong decision.i accept than i made a mistake that i got angry with you but at that same time i love u a lot.pls understand my situation .she said that ok

my parents are get in marriage action.i said u pls get out of ur house i ready to marry you and after that we explain to this to this
family members.bcoz her family members don't know our love.if we get married means finally there is no chance they have to accept our marriage.so u pls cooperat pls don't avoid me.

she said that i m not ready to come out.and she avoid me , she didn't attend my phone call,i made phone to her friends they helped me bt she said that don't distrub other.in this matter .i said that if u attend my call means then why i made call to them.ok she said i beg her that pls don't avoid me yar.i love u a lot ,i want u,i want to marry u,pls don't avoid me.her reponse is nothing
she avoid me alot

she one day attend my call,she said that i can get a beautiful girl than me,i m not suit for u,

my mind is not good. i always tensioned,i can't concentrated.my workmate are laught at me,i got total confusion,i think that i
made a sin to her.again i got tensed and phoned to her i said that if u avoid me from your life then why did u have sex with me,(we made a lot ).I explained her .pls yar don't make mistake this is only one life.we have to marry.we have to displine,don't made betrayed to ur husband.think of your husband situation he think that
your only to him.bt when he hear this (sex thing happen with u and me) how he react.pls don't betray him for that she said

How he knows until u and me explained this.and said that there is life other that sex ok.

i can't tolerate this i scold a lot bcoz i loved her alot.i can't give up her .finally she said finally OK i accept ur scoldness,i can't come with.now she got married,

there is alot of self talk Running in my mind

The running comments are
I made sin to her bcoz
I scold her,(but i not ready to run out from her)
I scold her,(but i m ready to marry her and face problems)

My settlement is get delayed.i accept this.bt my questions is" IS this reason behind in love.if she love me alot and she want to marry me why she is not ready to come with me. Love is not in the expectation of money or safety settlement lot of persons settles their life after their marriage.their wife are supportive to them. but why this failure happend to me

What mistake i made .is i made sin to her .i m afraid to choose next girl.pls give me advise or suggessition.My id is [email protected]

 

[IgnoredOne]

Where are you from?

Well, sometimes stuff happens. I don't think it was simply the need for money, but also the fact that she was trying to live to the expectations of her parents. So she wanted to 'marry well' to impress her parents.

You don't necessarily sound like you have anger issues, but if you do, seek counseling from a professional, or at least someone with experience dealing with individuals who have such difficulties.