Preparation!

[MellyVinelli]

Something just came to me. I spent a couple of years working in research which many would immediately say that is probably the most anti-social job one could have. That is probably one reason I took it. However, it did come with its challenges. I was forced to give my share of oral presentations with PowerPoint slides in front of pretty large audiences composed of experts in their fields be it professors, post-docs, surgeons, and other people like me.

It was really uncomfortable especially the night before but the outcome became better each time I did it. My very last presentation I won $350...not first place but still!

It gave me confidence and I feel better at communication in general.

I even read up on a PUA website, yes I know it's controversial with women and I don't want to talk about it anymore than I need to, that one can practice many scenarios and prepare a script or several 'openers' to get things going for those who don't know how to strike up conversations with women. And there are other things to do to keep the conversation going.

I'm sticking to conversation and have no ulterior motives so I'm not discussing 'closers' or anything. But it comes back to preparation.

But say something like 'toastmasters' which is a society does nothing but practice public speaking gives you an avenue to do it until you don't flinch if people throw stuff at you. Imagine how much more you can accomplish by developing thicker skin? I believe toastmasters is all over the world so any of you should have access to it. It would help decrease that social anxiety. But it may not have to be them, the bottom line is practice and drill things you don't feel good at!

Cheers all!

 

[Cavey]

I agree with you. I'm socially-awkward and it got to the point where I was having difficulty even leaving the house. In the end, I had to force myself to walk out of the door and the first time was like a living hell - sweating, panicking, heart racing etc. - but I kept doing it. The more I did it, the more I realised that there was little to be worried about. The more confident I became, the more I started to notice people smiling at me and me smiling back. That turned into small talk about the weather, pets and other things.

I don't think I'm ready for public speaking yet, but when the time comes, I'll consider 'practising' it in some way and I won't let any initial bad experiences prevent me from doing it again and again until it becomes second nature.

I don't see anything wrong with preparing to talk to the opposite sex either, because if you're not confident during those opening moments, you can give a totally inaccurate first impression of who you really are and that often closes the door on any further interaction.

 

[MellyVinelli]

For talking to members of the opposite sex, I've heard of one exercise that is really hard for beginners.

Go to the mall, and smile at every member of the opposite sex and say hi. They may look at you weird, ignore you, or maybe they will return the smile and greeting.

I've been in a lonely relationship for years so this would be difficult for me to do as well. LOL but if you make it through that, you would get over feelings of self-loathing because you have accomplished something not many people have the guts to do!

 

[Regumika]

definitely practice, yes. My additional advice (personal opinion), for people here on the forums is to use voice chat, and do with many people (of course not all at the same time >_>). Yes it will be super awkward if you dont normally do it. but with practice you will be able to talk with strangers with ease!