Proactive searching for love is NOT desperate!

[Peaches]

who says it's desperate anyway ?
I say look for love unless you find constant rejection depressing.
I believe there is a small minority of people (mostly men) who for various reasons have no chance whatsoever.
My advice to them is forget about it and concentrate on making your life as happy as possible !

I agree, but I don't think that minority is that small at all. At this point in my life I'm pretty sure I'm one of them. After taking numerous breaks and trying again only to get the same negative results, I finally decided to stop fighting fate.

constant rejection IS depressing

 

[TropicalStarfish]

I approve of this message.

 

[AspiringCatLady]

I agree that there are some people who just won't find a partner. I don't think there's anything wrong with proactively looking if that's what you want and you can cope with rejection along the way. I hate the cliches too, I find them quite insulting. There are many people who got married when they were looking for love (ie met on a dating site) so that blows that theory out of the water. It's all stuff people say to make single people feel better, and it's insulting too. As for all this stuff 'You've got to change to find a partner', you've got to do this that and the other, be in love with yourself etc etc blah blah blah some of it sounds like victim blaming. I think i'm pretty good as I am thanksverymuch!! I'm a good honest fair person and i'm not putting myself through years of therapy to change just so that I might've got a chance at finding love - I don't think there's anything wrong with the way I am! Sure I put myself down sometimes but we're only human. If people go round expecting to find the perfect woman, then they're going to be disappointed. One of my imperfections is that I put myself down sometimes. But that doesn't mean I hate myself, it means i'm aware of some of my weaknesses. That alone makes me unique! If other people don't like it, or choose to exploit it, then it says more about them than it does about me!! Amen