Questions for the Women

[Oceanborn]

I don't know what she -really- wants is the thing, regardless if I'm in the picture or not. What I meant to say is every time I've been told this, they usually keep you on the side and go to you when they need advice/help, then end up with another guy. And it's always just been wasted energy to stick around since I'm used in a way. Now, that's been my experience, and the confusion on my part is if by some amazingly odd chance, she's serious because she's just really shy/weird.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Doesn't sound like she's interested in you romantically, but she might genuinely see you as a potential friend, though bear in mind, with some girls, a Just-Friends thing can blossom into something more.

So you can stick around and be a friend, but if that's not your aim, I'd say look elsewhere.

Now, that's been my experience, and the confusion on my part is if by some amazingly odd chance, she's serious because she's just really shy/weird.

I don't think it's weird or a shy girl thing either to want a guy as a friend. *shrug*

 

[Oceanborn]

Nah, I meant the part about her being really uncomfortable around people and avoiding most social interaction in person She says she's awkward.

 

[discolemonade]

I agree with ctf, but if she does end up
with another guy and runs to you for support, you can either stop the friendship, or help her out.

Im sensing you like her in a more than friends sense. Why dontcha tell her?

 

[Oceanborn]

I haven't said much because after hearing her say she doesn't want anything sexual, romantic, and that she feels uncomfortable with guys... I think that would drive her off I don't know... I can't deny that a part of me doubts that it's all true because of past experiences like this. But if by some chance she's sincere, I feel bad =/

 

[discolemonade]

Hmmm I get what you're saying. Stick it out and be her friend until more signs of what you experienced in the past is what I would do.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Well, Oceanborn, I would tell her how I felt. Even if it meant never being with her, at least she would know where I stand. And if you don't expect anything from her, just tell her you think she's a beautiful girl, and a beautiful friend. You never know what could come of it if she knew you weren't like the other guys.

There's only so much you can take as being the "friend", however, she can only take so much of every single guy flirting with her. It gets old, and boring, and you hear the same compliments over and over. Once she discovers you're not like the rest, she may like you even more.

 

[Oceanborn]

Thanks for the advice everyone. It's always better to be honest, so here goes and wish me luck.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Nah, I meant the part about her being really uncomfortable around people and avoiding most social interaction in person She says she's awkward.

Oh, I got ya now.

Thanks for the advice everyone. It's always better to be honest, so here goes and wish me luck.

Best of luck!

 

[Badjedidude]

OK ladies, here's a question. I think I already have an answer, but maybe you can either confirm this for me or add some insight.

What does it mean when a girl continually talks/posts/texts about how hot and sexy her current boyfriend is (to the point of becoming annoying)? The way I see it, it could be one of two things:

1. She's trying to convince herself and everyone around her that he is, indeed, sexy.
2. She's insanely in love with him and has lost her judgment skills.

Any halp, ladies?

 

[cheaptrickfan]

OK ladies, here's a question. I think I already have an answer, but maybe you can either confirm this for me or add some insight.

What does it mean when a girl continually talks/posts/texts about how hot and sexy her current boyfriend is (to the point of becoming annoying)? The way I see it, it could be one of two things:

1. She's trying to convince herself and everyone around her that he is, indeed, sexy.
2. She's insanely in love with him and has lost her judgment skills.

Any halp, ladies?

Or possibly:

3. She does it because she DOES think he's sexy and she wants to brag about it to make herself look like some hot honeysuckle because she bagged herself a hot stud.

You know, because hotness can rub off. If I have a hot boyfriend then I MUST be a hottie too.

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

or 4.

she is trying to make someone else jealous?

 

[Badjedidude]

Or possibly:

3. She does it because she DOES think he's sexy and she wants to brag about it to make herself look like some hot honeysuckle because she bagged herself a hot stud.

You know, because hotness can rub off. If I have a hot boyfriend then I MUST be a hottie too.

Hmmmm yeah I didn't consider that... but I've seen the guy and he really isn't that hot (or even handsome), IMHO. *shrug* That's why I didn't think of this in the first place, but yeah, you could be right.

she is trying to make someone else jealous?

:O wimmin are too complicated. lol

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

hallelujah

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Hmmmm yeah I didn't consider that... but I've seen the guy and he really isn't that hot (or even handsome), IMHO. *shrug* That's why I didn't think of this in the first place, but yeah, you could be right.

Oh, if you've seen him yourself and he's no stud, then it could be #2.

2. She's insanely in love with him and has lost her judgment skills.

If a woman is really in love, then the object of her affection may indeed seem hot as hell to her, even if no one else can see it.

---

or 4.

she is trying to make someone else jealous?

#4 is likely a subset of #3.

 

[Enchanted Girl]

OK ladies, here's a question. I think I already have an answer, but maybe you can either confirm this for me or add some insight.

What does it mean when a girl continually talks/posts/texts about how hot and sexy her current boyfriend is (to the point of becoming annoying)? The way I see it, it could be one of two things:

1. She's trying to convince herself and everyone around her that he is, indeed, sexy.
2. She's insanely in love with him and has lost her judgment skills.

Any halp, ladies?

I don't usually talk about my boyfriend's looks, but I do mention him a lot and its because he's such a huge part of my life. We've been dating for five years and we're pretty much married. A lot of the things I do and have done involve him and sometimes I think about purposefully not mentioning him when I talk to other people, but that seems kind of weird, purposefully not mentioning something or someone that's a big part of your life just because it might upset other people, so I don't bother.

If she's talking about just how attractive he is all the time though, it's probably number 2 in most cases, although the other options are possible as well, but instead of saying it how you said it, I think she's just very, very lustful over him and it will eventually go away in time as the infatuation fades.

 

[sacul001]

What a good topic.

Any thoughts on rebounding? I'm fresh out of a 2yr relationship and naturally cant get her off my mind. Does rebounding help? I met a girl only a few days after the break up (by accident) and shes really into me. Ive been honest with her, pretty much told her I want to get to know her but my ex is still prevalent in my mind and I'm scared. Guess I'm tired of crying.

Edit: On the topic: my ex was very attractive and I often found myself telling others so (such as now). For me, some of it was status and self proclaimed worth, yes. On the other hand, I was insanely in love with her and has lost my judgment skills. Go figure.

 

[Enchanted Girl]

What a good topic.

Any thoughts on rebounding? I'm fresh out of a 2yr relationship and naturally cant get her off my mind. Does rebounding help? I met a girl only a few days after the break up (by accident) and shes really into me. Ive been honest with her, pretty much told her I want to get to know her but my ex is still prevalent in my mind and I'm scared. Guess I'm tired of crying.

Edit: On the topic: my ex was very attractive and I often found myself telling others so (such as now). For me, some of it was status and self proclaimed worth, yes. On the other hand, I was insanely in love with her and has lost my judgment skills. Go figure.

Yes, I think it will probably help you, but the issue with rebounding isn't about you, it's about the person you are doing it with. You're probably going to hurt them and make them miserable by using them to get better when they have some genuine feelings for you. It's more about being a good person and not hurting them, in my opinion, then whether or not it will help you. They may SAY they are okay with it, but they're really just hoping to be the person that you fall in love with next and fooling themselves into thinking that you are more okay than you are, unless they are looking for a friends with benefits kind of relationship with you.

It's better to just flirt a little and remind yourself that there are possibilities out there when you can handle dating again, then to get into another relationship before you are ready.

Then again, some people never feel fully ready to date again, but that doesn't mean they should put their romantic life forever on hold.

 

[Badjedidude]

If you're going to rebound, then rebound with a slut.

No joke.

A "rebound" isn't about jumping into a relationship as soon as you can after ending a big relationship. A rebound is about mindless sex to help you forget the pain of a huge breakup. MINDLESS, crazy, unending sex with someone you hardly know and have no interest in dating.

If you can't handle that, then maybe you should take the high road as I did and just be single for a while until you feel you're ready to date again.

 

[Danroush]

I know we're suppost to remain interested...Obviousely girls don't want to talk about baseball.lol
I'm totally clueless in subject that pretains to women shoes..but i am a good listener though.

well, coming from a woman who isn't "normal" I can tell you what I like. On the first date, I like to learn about that person, even if he likes baseball! I usually ask a lot of questions about what the guy is interested in...lol I love learning new things. I also like to hear personal stories! And I even like to be silly....lol If a man can get silly with me, thats great!!!! I like to hear about what their goals are in life and at some point, I'm really hoping to have some kind of heart to heart connection. While all these other things are great to learn about, I really CRAVE something deeper, something REAL. I love someone who can make me think and stimulate my mind with ideas.
I like talking about philosophical questions and whatever a person is passionate about. I like a man with convictions, who is open minded and not afraid to say what he thinks. I sometimes throw out things to see how open he can be. If I see he is not on that level, I back away. The usual reasons that I don't go back out is if they showed bad behavior or if they weren't on my "level." Now that doesn't mean I am judgeing my "level" as better than anyone else because no one is better than another person. It simply means that the levels are DIFFERENT and I have found it hard to find someone as different as I am. I want a man just like me...lol I don't like opposites.

Hey, new here and sorry if it appears a bit creepy but if that really is how you judge whether you like a guy or not rather than just what you think you do, then congratulations on being such an open minded and good person