Questions for the Women

[kamya]

How would you feel being with a man that makes less money, has less education (no degree), has less career mobility, and is possibly less physically attractive than you? Not out of laziness or lack of ambition but just by how things played out. Or would you even give him a chance at all? Is he just filtered into the no/friend only category despite other positive qualities he might have?

Basically when you meet someone like this are they automatically kind of written off as not relationship material?

Only interested in hearing from women please. o.o

 

[SofiasMami]

Only Callie answered my previous question. Any other women who could chip in?

It was: How do you feel about being asked if you're single, if it's a stranger asking? Or eventually someone you've only known for a very short time.

It's happened to me and the only thought I have is that they're interested in going out with me. To me, it seems like that would be the only reason to ask someone whether their single.

 

[SofiasMami]

Do you get over small grudges easily?

By definition, a grudge is something that you hold onto-
Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. We women are great at holding grudges, it seems. I'm trying to teach my daughter that holding grudges isn't a good thing.

-Teresa

 

[SofiasMami]

How would you feel being with a man that makes less money, has less education (no degree), has less career mobility, and is possibly less physically attractive than you? Not out of laziness or lack of ambition but just by how things played out. Or would you even give him a chance at all? Is he just filtered into the no/friend only category despite other positive qualities he might have?

Been there, done that, except for maybe the less physically attractive part, we were probably equals in that respect.
To your question, sure I would give you a chance but whether it has a chance of lasting depends. (I'm speaking in general here, kamya, not just about you )What are your good qualities? Are you a good role model for a kid (cuz I have one)? You don't need money or looks to be good that way.
It seems silly to judge someone on less money, education or career mobility - the Great Recession wasn't that long ago. Success in those areas depends a lot on luck, in my opinion. So does physical attractiveness.

-Teresa

 

[VanillaCreme]

How would you feel being with a man that makes less money, has less education (no degree), has less career mobility, and is possibly less physically attractive than you? Not out of laziness or lack of ambition but just by how things played out. Or would you even give him a chance at all? Is he just filtered into the no/friend only category despite other positive qualities he might have?

Money, career, schooling... None of that matters to me. Don't have to be rich to be happy. Don't need a bustling career to be satisfied. Sure as hell don't even care about school. I'm not totally sure what less physically attractive is? Not only do I not care about looks, I'm not that pretty myself, so it'd be stupid of me to even consider that. As long as they support and provide for their family, or a family they may want, then I don't personally care. But I'm one that also doesn't believe in the "friendzone" thing either. We never know what may happen.

 

[Aisha]

Do you get over small grudges easily?

I've seen other people hold on to grudges for far too long and seen what it does to them. I hope I can avoid becoming that. Grudges can become obsessions and life is short, too short to remain bitter about futile concerns that are irrelevant in the long run. I don't want my life to revolve around negativity. I like being able to feel joy over simple things.

How would you feel being with a man that makes less money, has less education (no degree), has less career mobility, and is possibly less physically attractive than you? Not out of laziness or lack of ambition but just by how things played out. Or would you even give him a chance at all? Is he just filtered into the no/friend only category despite other positive qualities he might have?
Basically when you meet someone like this are they automatically kind of written off as not relationship material?

I know people say love conquers all and knows no boundaries and all that, and that's fine for the romeos and juliets out there. But realistically, I think there would need to be more shared ground than character, values, morals, and love. At this point in time, having learnt from experience, personally I think it would be best not only if both parties were goal oriented and ambitious, but also at a similar level of education even if it is in different fields. In long-term relationships I feel it certainly plays a role, especially as I grow older and have a better idea of direction and where I am and where I want to go in life.
I don't write people off as soon as I meet them- that would be absurd since that implies every stranger is a potential partner, and that would make interactions very awkward to say the least. If there is an interest expressed and a long term relationship is what's wanted, then I think it's best to consider everything before wading into something that will consume time, energy, emotion, and resources. As selfish as it sounds, I think it would be sensible since it's still a life decision.
Physical attraction is subjective. The other factors are much more important to me.

^That sounds quite clinical when I read it back. A little too analytical. Meh. You already know how I am.

 

[Skid Row 89]

How do you feel about men that have many insecurities and are hard on themselves?

 

[Aisha]

Everyone has some sort of insecurity. Or most people do, except perhaps narcissists. It's completely fine unless it turns into an obsession and the person can't see past it. It would be very difficult if they were blinded by the negativity to the things they have going for them.

Where are all the rest of the wemens? Has America woken up yet? I suppose they're probably not receiving messages on that side of the globe yet because of the time zones and all. I'm sure that's how it works.

 

[SofiasMami]

How do you feel about men that have many insecurities and are hard on themselves?

We women are plenty insecure about ourselves too - except for narcissists as Aisha mentioned, or sociopaths. In fact, I would be wary of a guy who was cocksure and felt great about himself at all times. The people I've met who are like that aren't people I like to spend my time with.

-Teresa

 

[VanillaCreme]

How do you feel about men that have many insecurities and are hard on themselves?

Probably that they should stop being so hard on themselves, is how I'd feel.

 

[foxfeather]

1) In terms with the behaviors I find attractive, I am fond of men with quirks where they point out their imperfections with confidence. I also like it when a man has a strong sense of moral where they are open and confrontational about what they believe, it's like a challenge for me. A good challenge.
2) I dislike it when a man tends to not try on the things you like but he doesn't. Or when a man decides to not text oftenly or ask for outings with you oftenly. I think it shows carelessness unless if they are hardworkers.

 

[Skid Row 89]

How do you feel about men that have many insecurities and are hard on themselves?

Probably that they should stop being so hard on themselves, is how I'd feel.

I suppose it's the fine line between being self critical and being too hard on yourself that might deter people. I'm working on not being so hard on myself.

 

[Zook]

This might've been covered already, but how important are looks to a woman?

I mean, if a guy has the full package, but doesn't look good, would you still be interested in being with him?

 

[TheRealCallie]

This might've been covered already, but how important are looks to a woman?

I mean, if a guy has the full package, but doesn't look good, would you still be interested in being with him?

Looks don't mean much to me. I've never really dated "OMG, he's so hot" guys, because most of the ones I run into are conceited as fresia. lol I prefer someone I can genuinely care for and am compatible with...that has nothing to do with looks.

 

[Zook]

This might've been covered already, but how important are looks to a woman?

I mean, if a guy has the full package, but doesn't look good, would you still be interested in being with him?

Looks don't mean much to me. I've never really dated "OMG, he's so hot" guys, because most of the ones I run into are conceited as fresia. lol I prefer someone I can genuinely care for and am compatible with...that has nothing to do with looks.

Thanks for your input. But have you dated guys who are below average or ugly that have other great qualities?

 

[TheRealCallie]

This might've been covered already, but how important are looks to a woman?

I mean, if a guy has the full package, but doesn't look good, would you still be interested in being with him?

Looks don't mean much to me. I've never really dated "OMG, he's so hot" guys, because most of the ones I run into are conceited as fresia. lol I prefer someone I can genuinely care for and am compatible with...that has nothing to do with looks.

Thanks for your input. But have you dated guys who are below average or ugly that have other great qualities?

Well, I don't believe anyone is ugly. But yeah, I suppose I have dated guys who would be classed as "below average." Honestly, they are some of the best guys I've ever dated. They were kind and caring and had enormous respect for people. Sadly, none of them were "it" for me in the long run, but I'm still friends with some of them.
I've also dated men that were....I really hate saying below average because I don't view them that way....not gorgeous who were massive jackasses though and some who were good looking by most standards that were kind.

You can't know a person based on what they look like, so I choose not to give it much importance in what I would want in a man.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I'm sorry but this is getting out of hand. The last 5 pages are full of what? I'm not condoning or agreeing with what anyone has said here. I'm trying to be a neutral referee in a sense (but I'll be labeled biased by some naturally anyway). Things being said from multiple parties here are getting out of hand. Some of these sentences, if you were to change just one word. The gender, it'd suddenly be far more worse. I'm all for starting this thread over because all I see is hypocrisy right now. Self-justified or not. Both of the threads should be re-named the Biased Drama Bait threads.

Everyone's been conditioned or gone through something in their lives to make them feel the way they do, and a lot of these gender specific questions are intentional drama bait waiting to happen. Stop generalizing, and stereo-typing based off of your experiences and see people for people. I thought that's what this forum was about, some of us come here to escape this sort of crap.

I've said something like this before somewhere in the forum in the past lol. All I'll say now is, people will always be people. Some will choose to see things the way they want to see it.

Sad, but true.

This might've been covered already, but how important are looks to a woman?

I mean, if a guy has the full package, but doesn't look good, would you still be interested in being with him?

I've been with someone who was shorter than me. Or someone my friends told me that I could do better with physical attraction wise.

I don't think anyone is ugly either, people just look different from each other.

Hygiene though - now that's something to think about.

So no, looks aren't important.

 

[VanillaCreme]

This might've been covered already, but how important are looks to a woman?

I mean, if a guy has the full package, but doesn't look good, would you still be interested in being with him?

Full package as in what? Job/Career, car, home, all that stuff? As long as someone has their honeysuckle together, I couldn't care less what he looked like. Stability and security mean a lot more to me than a dude looking like a GQ model.

 

[mrairdrie]

Question for the Ladies. Why do women make vague promises of wanting to do stuff after a first date if all you do is disappear and never respond to any attempt at follow up communication?

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Question for the Ladies. Why do women make vague promises of wanting to do stuff after a first date if all you do is disappear and never respond to any attempt at follow up communication?

There was to be an exchange of Count Chocula. Don't make it seem so one sided :club:

I think that women generally like to put some distance in before they make the final decision. Or to put them in a "safe" zone. Or, they discover that the jackass has a gf, after they look up his fb after the first date. But I know that you aren't that type, so