Questions for the Women

[VanillaCreme]

I'm in a frustrating and likely unchangable situation (for years or longer) where I do not have an independent income. It's my impression that, this is pretty much unacceptable, and women require either that you have resources, big handsome, or both. If if not both, you must have (especially no money) an EXCESSIVE amount of the other. I'm decent looking, but I'm not Tom Selleck. I pretty much don't have any options for employment at the moment, and I live with my mother and two sisters. We work together to keep our situation above water, and my job is home maker and taking care of my youngest sister who is disabled. In truth, I would never want to abandon my family even being completely desperate to have a woman in my life. But that doesn't change that it hurts. So my question is, would you ever date and consider marrying a "weak" man?

First, I'll tell you, it can be changeable. We never know what could ever happen. Second, personally, it doesn't matter to me if a guy (speaking as if I'm looking at him to be with in a relationship) doesn't have resources or income, and they most certainly don't have to be big or handsome. What I personally like in a guy is if they are willing to do something with their lives. If they have a drive that pushes them to do something or make things or whatever.

Third, I think it's honorable that you tend to your little sister. If anyone ever asks you to not do that, I think that person has little to no character. I know what it's like to care for and tend to someone, and I'll do it again in a heartbeat. No one's ever going to make me believe that I wasn't to do it. So I hope you never have anyone put it in your mind that you shouldn't do it. I think it'll take a special and a certain kind of lady to understand your situation, because believe it or not, not everyone can understand it. I think it's lovely that you work with your family to make your home situation suitable for your family.

I would most certainly be with a guy in a situation similar to yours. And Tom Selleck isn't the bar set for me. When you're needing someone kind and understanding, looks don't really come into play with those two requirements.

 

[desertexile]

Well I have to say I appreciate your comments. I think Tom Selleck is a stud (not gay just admire the male beauty ). But anyway, It may be changeable, but not for the foreseeable future. And I do realize that some can't understand it. I'm operating on the assumption that the vast majority won't or won't consider it acceptable.
My goal is to find someone online, and possibly get together in person in the future. But at the moment, I actually would prefer an online relationship.
I do have things to talk about. Lots. There are certainly online activities I can do (games comes to mind but I assume there's other stuff, though none come to mind.) That being said, I don't know how to go about "finding" someone. Okcupid and PoF are very poor resources from my experience. That's partly why I did some googling and found this fourm.

I'm in a frustrating and likely unchangable situation (for years or longer) where I do not have an independent income. It's my impression that, this is pretty much unacceptable, and women require either that you have resources, big handsome, or both. If if not both, you must have (especially no money) an EXCESSIVE amount of the other. I'm decent looking, but I'm not Tom Selleck. I pretty much don't have any options for employment at the moment, and I live with my mother and two sisters. We work together to keep our situation above water, and my job is home maker and taking care of my youngest sister who is disabled. In truth, I would never want to abandon my family even being completely desperate to have a woman in my life. But that doesn't change that it hurts. So my question is, would you ever date and consider marrying a "weak" man?

First, I'll tell you, it can be changeable. We never know what could ever happen. Second, personally, it doesn't matter to me if a guy (speaking as if I'm looking at him to be with in a relationship) doesn't have resources or income, and they most certainly don't have to be big or handsome. What I personally like in a guy is if they are willing to do something with their lives. If they have a drive that pushes them to do something or make things or whatever.

Third, I think it's honorable that you tend to your little sister. If anyone ever asks you to not do that, I think that person has little to no character. I know what it's like to care for and tend to someone, and I'll do it again in a heartbeat. No one's ever going to make me believe that I wasn't to do it. So I hope you never have anyone put it in your mind that you shouldn't do it. I think it'll take a special and a certain kind of lady to understand your situation, because believe it or not, not everyone can understand it. I think it's lovely that you work with your family to make your home situation suitable for your family.

I would most certainly be with a guy in a situation similar to yours. And Tom Selleck isn't the bar set for me. When you're needing someone kind and understanding, looks don't really come into play with those two requirements.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I'm in a frustrating and likely unchangable situation (for years or longer) where I do not have an independent income. It's my impression that, this is pretty much unacceptable, and women require either that you have resources, big handsome, or both. If if not both, you must have (especially no money) an EXCESSIVE amount of the other. I'm decent looking, but I'm not Tom Selleck. I pretty much don't have any options for employment at the moment, and I live with my mother and two sisters. We work together to keep our situation above water, and my job is home maker and taking care of my youngest sister who is disabled. In truth, I would never want to abandon my family even being completely desperate to have a woman in my life. But that doesn't change that it hurts. So my question is, would you ever date and consider marrying a "weak" man?

Off topic, but did you know that Tom Selleck is 71?

 

[VanillaCreme]

Off topic, but did you know that Tom Selleck is 71?

I Googled him to see how old he was, and I didn't believe it. He looks good. Still not my cup of tea, but he looks nice.

Well I have to say I appreciate your comments. I think Tom Selleck is a stud (not gay just admire the male beauty ). But anyway, It may be changeable, but not for the foreseeable future. And I do realize that some can't understand it. I'm operating on the assumption that the vast majority won't or won't consider it acceptable.
My goal is to find someone online, and possibly get together in person in the future. But at the moment, I actually would prefer an online relationship.
I do have things to talk about. Lots. There are certainly online activities I can do (games comes to mind but I assume there's other stuff, though none come to mind.) That being said, I don't know how to go about "finding" someone. Okcupid and PoF are very poor resources from my experience. That's partly why I did some googling and found this fourm.

It's not necessarily that they think it's unacceptable, but many people don't understand how demanding it can be and all that it entails. When something has to be done, there's usually a lot of time and effort that goes into it. Most people would want that time for themselves, especially when they're in a relationship with someone. That's why I said I hope you never have someone put it in your mind that you shouldn't do it. You should if you believe it's the best thing, and never let anyone tell you any different.
I'm the kind of person to believe that when something is meant to happen, it will at the time it's mean to happen. Perhaps there's a reason why you haven't found anyone. I also think good things come to those who wait.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Okay, I have another question for the women.  

So, say you had a boyfriend that has kids.  He only sees these kids ONE day a week (his choice).  You know one of these kids needs consistency and stability at all times or he will have issues.  Would you let your boyfriend sleep all **** day and not go get his kids or would you wake him up?  

Yes, I know it's not the girlfriend's responsibility, but she has been with him for almost 3 years now, so one would assume she would have some kind of attachment to the kids herself.  I'm just curious if I'm the only one that would make sure my boyfriend was up in time to get the kids so they didn't have additional issues than those they already have.  Hell, after three years, I would likely want to see the kids too.

You'd think she'd have at least a little care for the wellbeing of his kids (if she cares about him).  
Is there a possibility that he would have told her not to involve herself in it? Other than that, it's hard to fathom why an adult wouldn't go out of her way to wake him up.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Okay, I have another question for the women.  

So, say you had a boyfriend that has kids.  He only sees these kids ONE day a week (his choice).  You know one of these kids needs consistency and stability at all times or he will have issues.  Would you let your boyfriend sleep all **** day and not go get his kids or would you wake him up?  

Yes, I know it's not the girlfriend's responsibility, but she has been with him for almost 3 years now, so one would assume she would have some kind of attachment to the kids herself.  I'm just curious if I'm the only one that would make sure my boyfriend was up in time to get the kids so they didn't have additional issues than those they already have.  Hell, after three years, I would likely want to see the kids too.

You'd think she'd have at least a little care for the wellbeing of his kids (if she cares about him).  
Is there a possibility that he would have told her not to involve herself in it? Other than that, it's hard to fathom why an adult wouldn't go out of her way to wake him up.

This from the girl that wouldn't let him come over here because she doesn't like him being with me?  This from the guy who tells me that I need to look at everything from his girlfriends perspective and think about how SHE feels? 

Yeah, no way in hell would he tell her that.  lol

 

[EveWasFramed]

Okay, I have another question for the women.  

So, say you had a boyfriend that has kids.  He only sees these kids ONE day a week (his choice).  You know one of these kids needs consistency and stability at all times or he will have issues.  Would you let your boyfriend sleep all **** day and not go get his kids or would you wake him up?  

Yes, I know it's not the girlfriend's responsibility, but she has been with him for almost 3 years now, so one would assume she would have some kind of attachment to the kids herself.  I'm just curious if I'm the only one that would make sure my boyfriend was up in time to get the kids so they didn't have additional issues than those they already have.  Hell, after three years, I would likely want to see the kids too.

You'd think she'd have at least a little care for the wellbeing of his kids (if she cares about him).  
Is there a possibility that he would have told her not to involve herself in it? Other than that, it's hard to fathom why an adult wouldn't go out of her way to wake him up.

This from the girl that wouldn't let him come over here because she doesn't like him being with me?  This from the guy who tells me that I need to look at everything from his girlfriends perspective and think about how SHE feels? 

Yeah, no way in hell would he tell her that.  lol

lmao, I see the picture more clearly now. 
I'm mostly encouraged to stay out of the dynamics of the "previous" family and let them handle things (no matter how poorly they handle them, might I add). lol...don't see that being the case in your situation.
I recommend a good clubbing for them both.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I'm in a frustrating and likely unchangable situation (for years or longer) where I do not have an independent income. It's my impression that, this is pretty much unacceptable, and women require either that you have resources, big handsome, or both. If if not both, you must have (especially no money) an EXCESSIVE amount of the other. I'm decent looking, but I'm not Tom Selleck. I pretty much don't have any options for employment at the moment, and I live with my mother and two sisters. We work together to keep our situation above water, and my job is home maker and taking care of my youngest sister who is disabled. In truth, I would never want to abandon my family even being completely desperate to have a woman in my life. But that doesn't change that it hurts. So my question is, would you ever date and consider marrying a "weak" man?

Okay, first, you seem to be quite sure that there are NO opportunities for you to get work.  I can tell you right now that this isn't true.  Look for honeysuckle you can do at home if you can't get out of the house.  There are ALWAYS ways around going out and getting a job, you just have to look and be creative, if you have to. 

Second, stop thinking you know what women want.  You don't know.  Hell, half the time, even we don't know what we want.  Your looks don't matter all that much, unless you are only going after shallow women. 

Third, a decent woman wouldn't want you to abandon your family.

And lastly, define "weak"?  Not sure what you mean by that.

 

[EveWasFramed]

"Weak"
You can't lift your club to beat anyone.

 

[TheRealCallie]

"Weak"
You can't lift your club to beat anyone.

Well, yeah, that's the standard definition, but he has it in quotes.  :club:

 

[desertexile]

As in unable to be a provider. Yes there are work opportunities, just not good ones and not many. I've applied at a few places already. This thread is turning out to be a bit weird for me since some of what is being said almost seems like it's it code.

I don't know what "this girl" and so on, means. I'm confused. Assuming there is some metaphor or allegory, but i'm not picking it up.

I have a crippled immune system (born with it) so I also technically fatigue easily.

 

[desertexile]

Accidental post. Admins can delete it.

 

[TheRealCallie]

As in unable to be a provider. Yes there are work opportunities, just not good ones and not many. I've applied at a few places already. This thread is turning out to be a bit weird for me since some of what is being said almost seems like it's it code.

I don't know what "this girl" and so on, means. I'm confused. Assuming there is some metaphor or allegory, but i'm not picking it up.

I have a crippled immune system (born with it) so I also technically fatigue easily.

Not good ones?  Yeah, I'm still calling bullshit.  There ARE good ones.  I work two jobs, both of which are done at home and I bring in a pretty **** decent income.  Does your immune system prevent you from holding a phone or typing on the computer?  I imagine not, so call center jobs would work for you.  As I said, there are ALWAYS ways, if you look for them. 

Stop making excuses and find them.

 

[desertexile]

As in unable to be a provider. Yes there are work opportunities, just not good ones and not many. I've applied at a few places already. This thread is turning out to be a bit weird for me since some of what is being said almost seems like it's it code.

I don't know what "this girl" and so on, means. I'm confused. Assuming there is some metaphor or allegory, but i'm not picking it up.

I have a crippled immune system (born with it) so I also technically fatigue easily.

Not good ones?  Yeah, I'm still calling bullshit.  There ARE good ones.  I work two jobs, both of which are done at home and I bring in a pretty **** decent income.  Does your immune system prevent you from holding a phone or typing on the computer?  I imagine not, so call center jobs would work for you.  As I said, there are ALWAYS ways, if you look for them. 

Stop making excuses and find them.

I'm not making excuses. I've sent it multiple applications, and will continue to do so. My other sister works at a call center. I actually have to be at home most of the time because of my youngest sister, who varies on how closely I have to watch her. My time is snaggletooth random from day to day. So I'm working on some written projects with the intent of getting freelance writing jobs. I haven't given every detail about how things work with my situation because I'm weary of being "spied on" by extended family from the paternal side. I doubt any of them would come to this forum, so I can probably get away with saying that.

I have issues to deal with that i'm not fully comfortable talking about in an online forum. Maybe I will on discord.

To further clarify, I do odd jobs and minor projects which gets me very irregular income. But I usually just give it to my household's warchest for expenses. I also have a friend who is a lot worse off than me and I send him money when I can.

 

[MisterLonely]

"I work two jobs, both of which are done at home and I bring in a pretty **** decent income.  Does your immune system prevent you from holding a phone or typing on the computer?  I imagine not, so call center jobs would work for you."

Are you the one that keeps sending me stock tips and offers for che@p vi@gr@ !?? if so please stop

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

"I work two jobs, both of which are done at home and I bring in a pretty **** decent income.  Does your immune system prevent you from holding a phone or typing on the computer?  I imagine not, so call center jobs would work for you."

Are you the one that keeps sending me stock tips and offers for che@p vi@gr@ !?? if so please stop

No, she's spying on those pornographic movies you keep uploading.

 

[desertexile]

Lol.. Well this is funny.

 

[TheRealCallie]

"I work two jobs, both of which are done at home and I bring in a pretty **** decent income.  Does your immune system prevent you from holding a phone or typing on the computer?  I imagine not, so call center jobs would work for you."

Are you the one that keeps sending me stock tips and offers for che@p vi@gr@ !?? if so please stop

No, that's not me.  I'd like for them to stop sending me cheap viagra offers too, though :club:

"I work two jobs, both of which are done at home and I bring in a pretty **** decent income.  Does your immune system prevent you from holding a phone or typing on the computer?  I imagine not, so call center jobs would work for you."

Are you the one that keeps sending me stock tips and offers for che@p vi@gr@ !?? if so please stop

No, she's spying on those pornographic movies you keep uploading.

(wary)  Perhaps....`

 

[MisterLonely]

... "This thread is turning out to be a bit weird for me since some of what is being said almost seems like it's it code.

I don't know what "this girl" and so on, means. I'm confused. Assuming there is some metaphor or allegory, but i'm not picking it up."....

That's kinda how the "Questions for the Women" thread works, you ask something and the answer makes you more confussed then you were before

 

[ladyforsaken]

I'm in a frustrating and likely unchangable situation (for years or longer) where I do not have an independent income. It's my impression that, this is pretty much unacceptable, and women require either that you have resources, big handsome, or both. If if not both, you must have (especially no money) an EXCESSIVE amount of the other. I'm decent looking, but I'm not Tom Selleck. I pretty much don't have any options for employment at the moment, and I live with my mother and two sisters. We work together to keep our situation above water, and my job is home maker and taking care of my youngest sister who is disabled. In truth, I would never want to abandon my family even being completely desperate to have a woman in my life. But that doesn't change that it hurts. So my question is, would you ever date and consider marrying a "weak" man?

I wouldn't consider that "weak" by any means. If you are committed to such responsibilities, it just goes to show how much you care about your family and that's a good thing. Though I can see how challenging it'll be if you were to find a woman who can accept this because you're going to have to know when to give your family time and when to give the woman time too.

Often times, I see those who have to care for their family most of the time having the tendency to continue on that path, eventually to neglect their partner in their own intimate relationships. It's a tough thing to juggle and you'd need someone with a lot of patience and understanding, someone who is willing to help you help your family as well, although they are not obligated to. It's not impossible to find someone like this though.

Would I do it? Sure, if the guy and I hit it off and if I'm ready to do something like that.