quiet + quiet = ?

[gyneco]

For the longest time, I was convinced if I met someone who's as introverted as I am we'd be best buds and live happily ever after. Well, recently I met her. She's really quiet. Like, really quiet. I can tell that, like me, she wants to be BFF and live happily ever after, but we both are so quiet it's eerie. Our conversation is less like a conversation than a series of questions and answers. I suppose neither of us has the ability to tell an anecdote that make normal conversations sound enjoyable.

What would you do if you were in my position?

 

[Punisher]

it's going to sound like stupid advice, but alcohol will make you want to talk.
dont get smashed on it just a little bit tipsy.

UK GOVERNMENT WARNING: please drink responsibly

 

[Sanal]

I agree with that. Seriously... alcohol will help (from experience)

 

[bookbinder]

there's a difference between awkward silences and comfortable ones. if you two are so compatible, then the silence should be one of the latter, and you shouldn't feel the need to fill some sort of void.

 

[ringwood]

there's a difference between awkward silences and comfortable ones. if you two are so compatible, then the silence should be one of the latter, and you shouldn't feel the need to fill some sort of void.

I agree...If it's a comfortable silence, then don't stress about it. I wouldn't stoop to using alcohol - there's nothing wrong with both of you being naturally quiet. It's true that alcohol can bring you out of your shell, but I've always found that to be too 'artificial' for my liking...

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I'd have wild sex with her all the time...that'll give her something
to talk about

I'd roll on the floor and wrestle with her...play with her.
Have water gun fights with her.
Resite a poams for her.
Have pillow fights with her
Go out to the movies with her.
Go ice skating with her
Go to the zoo with her
Go to concerts with her.
Rent a local hotel room just for the weekend just for kicks.
Go to Vagas with her
Go dancing with her.
Ask her to plan a vacation or a trip for us.
Go horse back riding with her
Go body surfing with her
Go have a picknic with her wherever.
Go to a art gallries and museums with her.
Go to amusement parks with her...ride roller coasters with her.
Go walking on the beach or wherever with her during a sunset
Draw a pitcure of her..have her pose nude
Make out with her in an elevator.
Make out with her in a cab
Make out with her in the woods
Make out with her anywhere and eveywhere.
I'd crave our names on a park bench in front of her.
Send her flowers every tuseday.
Play vedio games with her.
Go to the mall with her.
Take a sunday drive with her to the country, mountain
or wherever and have lunch with her at a side road resteruant.
Watch the sunrise with her.
Rub her feet, rub her back
Make her a bubble bath and hop in with her
Go skinny dipping with her.

mmm if you're creative and if she's willing...you'll
have sex in the veriouse places mention above...sometimes
even in daylight...

I guess start doing activites with her..so you'll both have
good memories and something to talk about with each others.
After a while you'll have a book full of memeries and good times
you spent with her..and you can talk about that...and talk about
what you both want to do next....

mmm...I've done all those things with my GFs and then some..
You only live once...I have a lot of good memories to last me a life time and then some.
These good memories will also carry me through the hard times or a rainy day.

Live and share your lives together...i think that's what a relationship
is.

I'd find out what she's interested in and try to learn how to
enjoy her hobbies with her...Or suport her in whatever her
hope and dreams are.

 

[SilentThinker]

I understand that.

I was like trying to struggle to create questions to talk about.What worse is that,he do not want to participate anything even things like outings.

My advice is to abide time.But try to talk to him to understand him.

 

[Brian]

I hate being around drunk people, lol. I refuse to drink socially...but then again, I can communicate without it(to varying degrees of success, mind you ).

I'm agreeing with zraskolnikov, though. Is it possible you two could be comfortable with such quiet? Hey, maybe that's something you could talk about

I've been in that position, though. Shy guy with a shy girl. It didn't work for me, but our time together was limited. If your girl is local, then you two could maybe come to accept it. If you do, in time it could probably even pass as you experience things together and meet new people.

'Things to talk about' come from day-to-day events in your life and the world around you, and from talking to others ('gossip', of varying degrees). I was quiet until I got a job and started spending more time out of the house. Work gave me something to talk about with my friends, and that conversation/interaction gave me more to talk about with my other friends. It's a blossoming effect.

 

[Silvernight]

Yeah, that's be kind of problematc. Too much quietness. Perhaps she needs time to come out of her shell. That is always the case with me, I can be quiet at first but gradually start talking more and more. But hey! If you even do only a fraction of what Lonesome Crow suggested above, you would have plenty talk about. Just do some kind of fun stuff together, it's pretty much impossible not to talk about it, share your impressions afterwards.

 

[NeverMore]

I once saw a couple in denny's who never said a word to each other through their entire meal but instead both opened up books and started reading, I've resolved to never become someone like that

So no matter how bad it gets make sure you don't give up and start reading a book or something, labels are okay for temporary reading materials and can sometimes strike up conversations about ingredients or the company who makes it etc. lol

But really, I think the more you all get to know each other the more she will open up, once a certain level of comfort is reached while she is around you then conversation will probably be made a lot easier.

Good luck

 

[EveWasFramed]

lol,my husband is pretty quiet and laid-back. We can sit in silence for hours...just being close to each other is enough sometimes. Note I said sometimes. However, when I'm in a mood to talk, I engage him in conversation. He's always attentive and responsive, but seldom initiates idle conversation. For whatever reason, this seems to work for us. *shrugs*

 

[Silvernight]

Oh right, my friend knows a couple who are both avid readers, so they often just sit together and read for hours. I actually think it's rather cute, and I wouldn't mind that at all myself. Just so long you do talk to each other occassionally.

 

[Satyr]

Everyone talks too much these days anyway. If done correctly, you can say more with a look than any speech. Shame it doesn't translate very well over the internet. "Smilies" are a poor substitute, despite the fact that they're cute.