Recovering from peopling.

[Sarah G]

Do you have to set time aside to recover after being around people?

Once a month I have to go sit with people for three hours whilst we get infusions, and it really drains me. I was there yesterday and tried to just look at my phone to avoid all the chatter and the nurse suggested a few times that I put my phone away

I'd rather have people think I'm rude or antisocial than waste my energy (I'm always tired) on nonsense plus it takes me at least a day to recover from it!

I find the recovery time worth it for people I care about but I still have to plan for it.

Maybe it's an introvert thing? I don't find myself to be a 'highly sensitive person' in the empath sense, more just... neurotic?

 

[TheRealCallie]

Well, if you don't have any interest in these people and none seem in the slightest bit interesting or someone you might eventually care about, can you use headphones? A good set of noise cancelling headphones and some music would drown it all out.

 

[Sarah G]

Well, if you don't have any interest in these people and none seem in the slightest bit interesting or someone you might eventually care about, can you use headphones? A good set of noise cancelling headphones and some music would drown it all out.

That seems to come across as even ruder than looking at my phone so I decided not to yesterday. It's probably the age of the nurse, young ones usually just ask what show I'm watching. Headphones/earbuds elevate temperature was said last month (when my temp was on the high side and I had buds in) and they use aural thermometers. I definitely do just want to block them out, I'm too tired to listen to life stories of random people.

Maybe I should close my eyes, the universal sign for 'Don't talk to me!'.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Can you plan it where when you go, you are so tired you fall asleep? Make it nap time?

 

[user15010]

Thanks for your post Sarah G! Maybe you could just let them know that talking makes you tired and you'd rather be left alone. I guess that many nurses start a conversation only because they think it's rude not to attempt one but eventually wouldn't mind go along with their tasks in silence. Some may be just genuinely interested in you.

Sometimes, nurses strike a conversation just to check the patient is still alright or alive

I guess I'd close my eyes. And yes, it takes me ages to recover from peopling or people.

 

[Slick]

That seems to come across as even ruder than looking at my phone so I decided not to yesterday. It's probably the age of the nurse, young ones usually just ask what show I'm watching. Headphones/earbuds elevate temperature was said last month (when my temp was on the high side and I had buds in) and they use aural thermometers. I definitely do just want to block them out, I'm too tired to listen to life stories of random people.

Maybe I should close my eyes, the universal sign for 'Don't talk to me!'.

I like the earbud idea...shame you can't use it...when I see people with earbuds in I assume they're listening to music they like which I find relaxing or maybe a podcast they like, even a book they enjoying by audio instead of reading..I find none of these ideas offensive...if you were to lay back and close your eyes I would at that point also think you were relaxing...and not find that offensive either....I have a 19 year old and 21 year old grandchild who use their phones for a lot of things including learning ...grandson taught himself how to speak Russian....so I guess maybe I'm different...being on your phone for whatever reason , doesn't appear antisocial to me...it appears to me people on their phones are doing what they want or need to do which is perfectly acceptable in society...I do not like phones at the dinner table etc...but that's an entirely different thing.....I hope I understood your post, and you understood mine...

 

[Sarah G]

I like the earbud idea...shame you can't use it...when I see people with earbuds in I assume they're listening to music they like which I find relaxing or maybe a podcast they like, even a book they enjoying by audio instead of reading..I find none of these ideas offensive...if you were to lay back and close your eyes I would at that point also think you were relaxing...and not find that offensive either....I have a 19 year old and 21 year old grandchild who use their phones for a lot of things including learning ...grandson taught himself how to speak Russian....so I guess maybe I'm different...being on your phone for whatever reason , doesn't appear antisocial to me...it appears to me people on their phones are doing what they want or need to do which is perfectly acceptable in society...I do not like phones at the dinner table etc...but that's an entirely different thing.....I hope I understood your post, and you understood mine...

Yes, I usually read books on my phone or scroll Instagram. So long as I'm not filming anyone it's really nobody's business, right?

I very rarely get a bed to nap or feign sleep in, so I do stay awake and my phone passes the time.

You know what, I'm just going to continue with my phone and try not to get sucked into the chatter (again) next month. Nurses should be aware that introverts exist and make accommodation for them. If I am forced to listen to others I'll just have to take the recovery time, again.

At least I know I'm not the only one!

 

[Slick]

Yes, I usually read books on my phone or scroll Instagram. So long as I'm not filming anyone it's really nobody's business, right?

I very rarely get a bed to nap or feign sleep in, so I do stay awake and my phone passes the time.

You know what, I'm just going to continue with my phone and try not to get sucked into the chatter (again) next month. Nurses should be aware that introverts exist and make accommodation for them. If I am forced to listen to others I'll just have to take the recovery time, again.

At least I know I'm not the only one!

 

[Sarah G]

Yikes, it's happening again. I cannot believe how much some people can talk! I'm staring at my phone trying not to get exhausted by it. The irony is that the conversation now is about sensory overload and how exhausting it is with MS. You're literally doing it! Stfu
Lala, tis the season, ho ho ho.

 

[randomguy]

I'm heading off to Somerset for Christmas with my Daughter & family, my first real 'peopling ' in over a year. Dreading it, I've already had her hubby on the phone this morning for 45 minutes giving me directions! why? I have a bloody sat nav like just about every other person on this planet. Then my wee girl phones 10 minutes later " please bring a guitar, I've a list of songs for you to play tonight "! So now I'm some sort of performing monkey who has to sing for my supper.

I am looking forward to driving across Salisbury plain and Stonehenge though ... may just see if I can hook up with some druids and spend xmas there. Bah humbug!

 

[Sarah G]

I'm heading off to Somerset for Christmas with my Daughter & family, my first real 'peopling ' in over a year. Dreading it, I've already had her hubby on the phone this morning for 45 minutes giving me directions! why? I have a bloody sat nav like just about every other person on this planet. Then my wee girl phones 10 minutes later " please bring a guitar, I've a list of songs for you to play tonight "! So now I'm some sort of performing monkey who has to sing for my supper.

I am looking forward to driving across Salisbury plain and Stonehenge though ... may just see if I can hook up with some druids and spend xmas there. Bah humbug!

I'm praying you get kidnapped by hippies. If we never hear from you again, be blessed

 

[Finished]

It's really funny how people typically assume everybody should be like them. We are always told to be sympathetic and put ourselves in other people's shoes. Well, some of us have very different shoes and don't want others in them.

"Normies" believe that everybody is social and wants to talk with others. The "experts" drone on about how socialization is important, we're pack animals, blaaaa, blaaaa, blaaaa. But, that's not the case. I really don't want to talk to other people except for simple commands. I'm always polite and just say what needs to be said. Then I'm done and want to move on. Office meetings were like torture for me especially when they drug on over two hours just so a few could talk about what movie or restaurant they just experienced. Blaaaaaaa.

However, sometimes I get cornered and end up having a conversation with someone. It kind of makes me mad because they are usually fishing for information. They aren't concerned about me or my welfare. So, in a passive agressive manor I will continue the conversation way past the point it needs to be. I force them to harshly break away because I just keep talking. Ha! ha! I do this in the hopes they do not try to talk to me again. It actually works. I recommend doing it.

However, I usually end up with a headache from over using my socialization part of my brain which has basically shrunk down to the size of a rice grain. So, like you, it takes me a while to recover, usually over night.

I have thought about wearing a shirt that states on the front and back, "Deaf Person. I cannot hear you or what you are saying." But, I'm sure some people would try to sign me into a headache as well. Ha! ha!

 

[Colster]

I used to be a very people person. In general, people like me: yes, there are always those who don't.

Anyway, these days I absolutely minimalise time with people. When I do socialise in any form, it's largely for my own wellbeing, or for overwhelming reasons.

However, recovery time has definitely crept in. I need at least two solid days of nobody, between anything remotely peopley.

It both amuses and confuses me. For a long time, it was an open door policy at my house, and I was happy to assist anyone.

Now, even on pain of death, does not seem like a good enough reason to bother me.

 

[randomguy]

 

[ewomack]

Too much nonsense talk does get to me after a while and causes me to flee to a sanctuary of social silence. Though I definitely have both introvert and extrovert tendencies, the introvert seems to often win out, especially if talk centers around sports, shows, movies, celebrities, trinkets or things that simply don't interest me. An actual good conversation can suck me in and I'll want to talk forever, because I rarely have the opportunity to have such interactions with people. Sadly, the topics that incite me seem to bore or scare others away. So I just have a lot of one-sided conversations with myself. It seems to work. So do I need time away from people? I guess it depends.

 

[2bttrthn1]

It's really funny how people typically assume everybody should be like them. We are always told to be sympathetic and put ourselves in other people's shoes. Well, some of us have very different shoes and don't want others in them.

"Normies" believe that everybody is social and wants to talk with others. The "experts" drone on about how socialization is important, we're pack animals, blaaaa, blaaaa, blaaaa. But, that's not the case. I really don't want to talk to other people except for simple commands. I'm always polite and just say what needs to be said. Then I'm done and want to move on. Office meetings were like torture for me especially when they drug on over two hours just so a few could talk about what movie or restaurant they just experienced. Blaaaaaaa.

However, sometimes I get cornered and end up having a conversation with someone. It kind of makes me mad because they are usually fishing for information. They aren't concerned about me or my welfare. So, in a passive agressive manor I will continue the conversation way past the point it needs to be. I force them to harshly break away because I just keep talking. Ha! ha! I do this in the hopes they do not try to talk to me again. It actually works. I recommend doing it.

However, I usually end up with a headache from over using my socialization part of my brain which has basically shrunk down to the size of a rice grain. So, like you, it takes me a while to recover, usually over night.

I have thought about wearing a shirt that states on the front and back, "Deaf Person. I cannot hear you or what you are saying." But, I'm sure some people would try to sign me into a headache as well. Ha! ha!

If I could, I would emoji a thumbs up after almost every sentence.

 

[4No1]

Do you have to set time aside to recover after being around people?

Yes.
Even if I meet the frineds I always make an "end point" - the time I can go away or if we meet at my place, time when they have to leave.
And I always use the headphones walking/shopping/, even without a music, just to fence off, but I can just "turn off" without any headphones, I think my own thoughts and just reply "yeah, aha, dunno" and people loose any interest in talking with me. I don't think it's more rude than talking all the staff that is in your head to a stranger, whose only fault is to sit near you.

 

[4No1]

"Deaf Person. I cannot hear you or what you are saying." But, I'm sure some people would try to sign me into a headache as well

When I visited Paris a few times I got really tired saying like a parrot "je ne parle pas un français"(I don't speak French) - some people just can't stop if they have decided to talk.

 

[Sarah G]

I don't think it's more rude than talking all the staff that is in your head to a stranger, whose only fault is to sit near you.

So true!

 

[user 139760]

I'm too much of a Misanthrope to endure people for long, unless it's on my own terms. 5 minute conversations are my go to. Unless she has a lot of cleavage