Rom-Coms make me wanna jump off a bridge! How about you?

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Yeah depends on the movie, some of them touch off some personal stuff for me and I sit there getting angry, going - but it NEVER goes that way in real life! Look at that guy! He's making an effort to TALK to the girl and build a relationship, for god's sake!

Probably I'm getting too old for them. It's not the genre though, I think it's the fact that they make up so much of the "B" movie category. A good one is a rarity. I never saw Don Jon, I've got a huge crush on JGL that I'm trying to wean myself off of. But that's another story..
 
They're so unrealistic and shallow that it makes my brain explode.

I'm not sure I could take a woman seriously if she deeply enjoys rom-coms. Certainly not when it comes to relationships. There's no ******* way.
 
Badjedidude said:
I'm not sure I could take a woman seriously if she deeply enjoys rom-coms. Certainly not when it comes to relationships. There's no ******* way.

Really? Even if she appears totally your type, all great and good, but she has a personal interest in rom-coms. You still won't take her seriously? Everyone has some type of a guilty pleasure, right? Maybe this could be hers... what would you think of her?
 
ladyforsaken said:
Really? Even if she appears totally your type, all great and good, but she has a personal interest in rom-coms. You still won't take her seriously? Everyone has some type of a guilty pleasure, right? Maybe this could be hers... what would you think of her?

I think you misunderstand me.

I have my own silly quirks when it comes to movies, believe me. :p I wasn't talking about watching them as a simple mindless pleasure or for the comedy or because one is bored.

When I say "...deeply enjoys rom-coms" and "I can't take her seriously," what I'm talking about is a woman who thinks that romantic comedies actually represent any sort of real, healthy, workable concept of love. Because they don't. I'm talking about the sort of woman who watches the "Sex in the City" movie(s) (or show) and takes it as relationship advice or an example of anything even approaching emotional or psychological stability.

Perhaps my own concept of love is stilted and immature. But when I watch these movies, I always find that what they're portraying is obsession, infatuation, mindless lust, and emotional dependence -- all cleverly hidden behind flowery gestures and words which have specifically been selected to cause this type of woman to swoon. The goals the characters in the movies have are just... just so ridiculously shallow and unrealistic, yet they are rewarded for it by achieving them.

Believe me, I understand the problems of trying to cram a deep, mature romance story into a one-and-a-half hour run time.

That's what I mean when I say I couldn't be with a woman who took the movies seriously. If she watches them for laughs or just for enjoyment, then that's fine; I'd have no problem with it.

But the type of woman who takes these movies as gospel truth when it comes to romance and relationships... I'm going to run for the ******* hills.
 
⏫Do you think women really do believe this stuff? I mean, I have never met a woman who actually does, anymore than I have met a guy who really believes that elves, magic swords and whatnot exist. Not that such women may not exist, just that I haven't ever met one..
 
jaguarundi said:
Do you think women really do believe this stuff? I mean, I have never met a woman who actually does, anymore than I have met a guy who really believes that elves, magic swords and whatnot exist. Not that such women may not exist, just that I haven't ever met one.

Oh, they're out there, I assure you. :p

I never said that all (or even most) women are like that. But they do exist, even if only as a remote minority.

Do you know women who have come out of a movie theater after watching a rom-com? Did they tell you how touching it was? How romantic? How it was such a tragically beautiful love story? When I watch the same movies, I find myself asking why the hell these characters are all so insane, so emotionally damaged, so unstable, so needy, so unbelievably empty aside from their cosmic need for their lover. Again... it could be simply the problem of writing a feasible romance story that only lasts an hour or two. Or I could be extremely cynical. You be the judge. :p

But I personally find very little (other than situational humor) that is redeeming in romantic comedies.

And the type of woman who does take them as relationship advice... well, I'll say this:

If you haven't met one, you should count yourself as lucky. ;)
 
Badjedidude said:
They're so unrealistic and shallow that it makes my brain explode.

I'm not sure I could take a woman seriously if she deeply enjoys rom-coms. Certainly not when it comes to relationships. There's no ******* way.

That's one of the downright dumbest posts I have ever read on this forum. Judging someone based on what kind of movies they enjoy? Wow. Real deep, man. And pretending that there is any significant amount of people who take rom-coms seriously for use in relationships is like claiming that cops use "The Terminator" for training purposes. It's hilarious too, because there's no way you could ever back up such a statement with actual proof.

I'm not sure how any woman can take you seriously if movie tastes are a big part of what you look for in a partner. I doubt many of them will enjoy your self-serving generalizations about them either.

Just...Lol!
 
Locke said:
Badjedidude said:
They're so unrealistic and shallow that it makes my brain explode.

I'm not sure I could take a woman seriously if she deeply enjoys rom-coms. Certainly not when it comes to relationships. There's no ******* way.

That's one of the downright dumbest posts I have ever read on this forum. Judging someone based on what kind of movies they enjoy? Wow. Real deep, man. And pretending that there is any significant amount of people who take rom-coms seriously for use in relationships is like claiming that cops use "The Terminator" for training purposes. It's hilarious too, because there's no way you could ever back up such a stupid statement with actual proof.

I'm not sure how any woman can take you seriously if movie tastes are a big part of what you look for in a partner.

Just...Lol!

I think that's fallacious logic. The unfortunate truth is that there are some women out there who have had their views on love manipulated by Hollywood to such an extent that they've lost touch with the realities. I'm not saying that all women are (that would be downright absurd) but I am saying that it's not illogical to suggest that you could potentially find a correlation between one of these women with an unrealistic view on love, and an unusually pronounced love of unrealistic romance and/or rom com films.

Perhaps the problem with it lies in the construction of the characters. As mentioned in this thread... they tend to be fairly shallow. Maybe it would be better if we encouraged more quality romance writing like the classics (e.g. Pride and Prejudice). Many women I've spoken to on this subject feel they could really relate to the main character Elizabeth. Personally I found her to be annoying, arrogant and stupid to start out with... but the character had some real depth and her growth during the piece was both inspiring and softened my view. From the few rom coms I've seen... none of the characters have any depth or growth.

Personally I wouldn't date a woman who has a great long list of rom coms as her fav films of all time... but that's more because I don't believe I'd want to watch them with her. (I just can't stand the clichéd, poorly written plotlines.) That said, I'd certainly enjoy a conversation about some well written romance :) (Though that may just be down to taste and personal preferences.)
 
Nightwing said:
I think that's fallacious logic. The unfortunate truth is that there are some women out there who have had their views on love manipulated by Hollywood to such an extent that they've lost touch with the realities. I'm not saying that all women are (that would be downright absurd) but I am saying that it's not illogical to suggest that you could potentially find a correlation between one of these women with an unrealistic view on love, and an unusually pronounced love of unrealistic romance and/or rom com films.

Perhaps the problem with it lies in the construction of the characters. As mentioned in this thread... they tend to be fairly shallow. Maybe it would be better if we encouraged more quality romance writing like the classics (e.g. Pride and Prejudice). Many women I've spoken to on this subject feel they could really relate to the main character Elizabeth. Personally I found her to be annoying, arrogant and stupid to start out with... but the character had some real depth and her growth during the piece was both inspiring and softened my view. From the few rom coms I've seen... none of the characters have any depth or growth.

Personally I wouldn't date a woman who has a great long list of rom coms as her fav films of all time... but that's more because I don't believe I'd want to watch them with her. (I just can't stand the clichéd, poorly written plotlines.) That said, I'd certainly enjoy a conversation about some well written romance :) (Though that may just be down to taste and personal preferences.)

You could just as easily claim that there are men who's views on violence have been distorted by action movies and video games, and what woman would want to go out with a violent man? I was just playing "God of War", I don't have the sudden urge to chop someone's head off. In fact, you could replace rom-coms with any genre and come to the same conclusion, if you really wanted to. There's inevitably a group of people who haven had their views manipulated by movies, but until you have actual numbers, the whole argument is nothing but a generalization. Even if you had numbers, surveys are often debatable.

As for not wanting to be with someone who mostly likes rom-coms: You're limiting yourself. They're just movies, and unless that's all she talks about, I really don't see the problem. But that's your choice.
 
Locke said:
That's one of the downright dumbest posts I have ever read on this forum. Judging someone based on what kind of movies they enjoy? Wow. Real deep, man. And pretending that there is any significant amount of people who take rom-coms seriously for use in relationships is like claiming that cops use "The Terminator" for training purposes. It's hilarious too, because there's no way you could ever back up such a statement with actual proof.

I'm not sure how any woman can take you seriously if movie tastes are a big part of what you look for in a partner. I doubt many of them will enjoy your self-serving generalizations about them either.

Just...Lol!

Oh, I'm sorry.

See, I was under the impression that personal preference and shared interests plays a large role in the selection of a potential life partner. Forgive me for being so shallow as to express that I wouldn't find someone who takes relationship advice from these types of movies to be of any interest to me romantically.

I guess we can't all base our preferences on criteria as lofty as your morally superior (albeit unstated) standards.

And plenty of guys do come away from action movies thinking that guns have unlimited ammo and can explode vehicles with a single bullet, or that an entirely untrained person can, within minutes, master the use of a firearm. I know several guys like that.

Nightwing said:
Perhaps the problem with it lies in the construction of the characters. As mentioned in this thread... they tend to be fairly shallow. Maybe it would be better if we encouraged more quality romance writing like the classics (e.g. Pride and Prejudice). Many women I've spoken to on this subject feel they could really relate to the main character Elizabeth. Personally I found her to be annoying, arrogant and stupid to start out with... but the character had some real depth and her growth during the piece was both inspiring and softened my view. From the few rom coms I've seen... none of the characters have any depth or growth.

Absolutely. I'd have no problem discussing romantic literature with a woman... as long as it weren't those dime novels that all seem to feature Scottish highlander love triangles. Bagpipes in the Breeze, indeed. :p

Locke said:
There's inevitably a group of people who haven had their views manipulated by movies, but until you have actual numbers, the whole argument is nothing but a generalization.

Untrue.

If you'd have taken about an extra two minutes to actually read my posts, you'd see quite clearly that I had avoided generalizing women. In fact, I went out of my way to say that I think women who take rom-coms seriously are a tiny minority.

Ultimately the statistics aren't important, as this is all hypothetical. It's not a statement of fact. It's a statement of my own intentions based on personal preference. As long as there is one woman who is like this, I wouldn't want to date her.

It's like if I were to say, "If there's a pizza with tiger meat on it, then I wouldn't want to eat the tiger meat pizza." It doesn't really matter if a pizza like that actually exists. I've stated my intentions given the hypothetical existence of the pizza. It's as simple as that.

And it's not like I've met a ton of women who are like that. In fact, I haven't.

Locke said:
As for not wanting to be with someone who mostly likes rom-coms: You're limiting yourself. They're just movies, and unless that's all she talks about, I really don't see the problem. But that's your choice.

Again, I think I'm being misunderstood.

I'm talking about women who live their life according to what they see in the movies. I'm not talking about women who enjoy them every now and then as entertainment. See, the type of woman who would obtain great meaning and personal instruction from a romance comedy undoubtedly has some very serious emotional or psychological issues. Why would I want to attach myself to someone like that?

I'm sure that sounds cold or mean to you, but... seriously. I wouldn't want to date the characters in those movies and I sure as hell wouldn't want to date a woman who takes her social cues/standards/advice from those movies.

And if I choose to limit myself by removing a very slim portion of women out there from my consideration, then... well that's kinda my own **** choice, isn't it? It's not like this is my only standard for dating.
 
Locke said:
Nightwing said:
I think that's fallacious logic. The unfortunate truth is that there are some women out there who have had their views on love manipulated by Hollywood to such an extent that they've lost touch with the realities. I'm not saying that all women are (that would be downright absurd) but I am saying that it's not illogical to suggest that you could potentially find a correlation between one of these women with an unrealistic view on love, and an unusually pronounced love of unrealistic romance and/or rom com films.

Perhaps the problem with it lies in the construction of the characters. As mentioned in this thread... they tend to be fairly shallow. Maybe it would be better if we encouraged more quality romance writing like the classics (e.g. Pride and Prejudice). Many women I've spoken to on this subject feel they could really relate to the main character Elizabeth. Personally I found her to be annoying, arrogant and stupid to start out with... but the character had some real depth and her growth during the piece was both inspiring and softened my view. From the few rom coms I've seen... none of the characters have any depth or growth.

Personally I wouldn't date a woman who has a great long list of rom coms as her fav films of all time... but that's more because I don't believe I'd want to watch them with her. (I just can't stand the clichéd, poorly written plotlines.) That said, I'd certainly enjoy a conversation about some well written romance :) (Though that may just be down to taste and personal preferences.)

You could just as easily claim that there are men who's views on violence have been distorted by action movies and video games, and what woman would want to go out with a violent man? I was just playing "God of War", I don't have the sudden urge to chop someone's head off. In fact, you could replace rom-coms with any genre and come to the same conclusion, if you really wanted to. There's inevitably a group of people who haven had their views manipulated by movies, but until you have actual numbers, the whole argument is nothing but a generalization. Even if you had numbers, surveys are often debatable.

As for not wanting to be with someone who mostly likes rom-coms: You're limiting yourself. They're just movies, and unless that's all she talks about, I really don't see the problem. But that's your choice.

I'm curious... why do you use so much fallacious logic to argue your points?

The big problem here is that you appear to be misunderstanding and/or misrepresenting the point of view being expressed. Perhaps you could try to get a neutral party to explain it to you? I'm going to leave it there because BJD has already addressed the majority of what you've said and tried to add some clarity along the way.
 
Badjedidude said:
Oh, I'm sorry.

See, I was under the impression that personal preference and shared interests plays a large role in the selection of a potential life partner. Forgive me for being so shallow as to express that I wouldn't find someone who takes relationship advice from these types of movies to be of any interest to me romantically.

I guess we can't all base our preferences on criteria as lofty as your morally superior (albeit unstated) standards..

Yes, not making a half-assed-judgment based on what kind of movies someone likes is morally superior. I'm glad I could teach you something. It's wonderful that you understand how shallow and arrogant you're being.

Badjedidude said:
And plenty of guys do come away from action movies thinking that guns have unlimited ammo and can explode vehicles with a single bullet, or that an entirely untrained person can, within minutes, master the use of a firearm. I know several guys like that.

Oh look, another dumb ass generalization. You haven't learned anything after all. Maybe you should learn to back your lame statements up with fact? Then again, you don't have any factual evidence, you're just pulling this crap out of you ass.

Badjedidude said:
Untrue.

If you'd have taken about an extra two minutes to actually read my posts, you'd see quite clearly that I had avoided generalizing women. In fact, I went out of my way to say that I think women who take rom-coms seriously are a tiny minority..

I've read a lot of your posts, including the ones in this thread. I like to laugh. You were quite clearly generalizing women who do enjoy rom-coms. The way you phrased it made it sound like they were all crazy, and there was contempt in your post. Perhaps you're not man enough to admit to your own shortcomings? Maybe you can blame watching action movies.

Badjedidude said:
Ultimately the statistics aren't important, as this is all hypothetical. It's not a statement of fact. It's a statement of my own intentions based on personal preference. As long as there is one woman who is like this, I wouldn't want to date her.

Of course, scientific data doesn't matter to someone who's making up crap as he goes along. Forgive me, I'm expecting too much from you.

Badjedidude said:
I'm sure that sounds cold or mean to you, but... seriously. I wouldn't want to date the characters in those movies and I sure as hell wouldn't want to date a woman who takes her social cues/standards/advice from those movies...

Lol, no one actually does that, Ace! It doesn't sound cold, it sounds moronic! Thanks for the laugh though! That was my whole point.

Badjedidude said:
And if I choose to limit myself by removing a very slim portion of women out there from my consideration, then... well that's kinda my own **** choice, isn't it? It's not like this is my only standard for dating....

Lol!! Somehow, I doubt you have to worry. I'm sure the decision is made for you all the time :)

I'll put this simply: Making arrogant, shallow choices based on what kind of movies someone likes won't get you girls. It mostly just makes you sound like a jerk.

But good luck there, buddy! I'm sure the shallowness and arrogance will pay off eventually :)

Nightwing said:
I'm curious... why do you use so much fallacious logic to argue your points?

The big problem here is that you appear to be misunderstanding and/or misrepresenting the point of view being expressed. Perhaps you could try to get a neutral party to explain it to you? I'm going to leave it there because BJD has already addressed the majority of what you've said and tried to add some clarity along the way.

Oh, I see. I'm wrong, but you can't explain why. Right. Just for future reference, you should try debating yourself sometime, if you actually have something valid to add.

BJD did nothing but defend his lame ass statement, and refuses to admit that this is all bullshit anyway. The amount of women who take rom-coms that seriously is about as small as the amount of men who turn violent after watching an action flick. It's a non-issue. I attempted to explain this to you before, and somehow you're not getting it.

You are both free to not date women because they don't like rom-coms. I'm free to tell you that there's no actual justification for it. Anything you say to the contrary is just based on some imaginary group of women you've made up, and absolutely nothing more. But your buddy BJD doesn't believe in proof, and since you can't even bother to argue for yourself, I'm assuming you don't either.

Nice try though.

I'll put it simply for you both, one last time: Prove it! Prove that there's such a large amount of women who take it seriously that you have to worry about it. You can't. Nothing you say matters, because it's all made up. you're both wasting my time.

And judging someone based on their film choices is shallow and idiotic. I know I've already said that, but neither of you seems to understand.
 
Locke said:
Yes, not making a half-assed-judgment based on what kind of movies someone likes is morally superior. I'm glad I could teach you something. It's wonderful that you understand how shallow and arrogant you're being.

The only thing you've displayed with this statement is that you don't fully understand what morality is.

Locke said:
Oh look, another dumb ass generalization. You haven't learned anything after all. Maybe you should learn to back your lame statements up with fact? Then again, you don't have any factual evidence, you're just pulling this crap out of you ass.

Are you just being intentionally dense?

Please explain to me how I'm generalizing when I specifically say that I personally know guys who are like that? It would only be generalizing if I were to say that every guy is like that. Notice, I didn't say that every guy is like that. I said that some guys I personally know are like that. Are you seriously asking me to take a poll of my male friends to gather scientific data, then publish the data in a peer-reviewed journal, and then bring the publication to show you the exact percentage of my friends who are like that?

It's laughable.

I'm not sure how I can explain it any more clearly than that.

Locke said:
I've read a lot of your posts, including the ones in this thread. I like to laugh. You were quite clearly generalizing women who do enjoy rom-coms. The way you phrased it made it sound like they were all crazy, and there was contempt in your post. Perhaps you're not man enough to admit to your own shortcomings? Maybe you can blame watching action movies.

I'm wondering why you feel the need to protect a group of women that hasn't actually been either insulted or generalized. Perhaps some of the women on this forum could enlighten me and explain to me how I was generalizing and attacking them.

I'm pretty sure I've made it very clear now that I'm talking about a very slim portion of womanhood. Are you implying that there are no unstable women at all? Are you implying that there aren't any women who are emotionally and psychologically immature?

Is there any point at which I attacked these women? Is there any point at which I stated that they're to be held in contempt or that they don't deserve love?

Again... I'm quite sure I simply said that I personally would not want to be in a relationship with a woman like that.

If that somehow, in your mind, constitutes an attack on an entire sex, then.... well... I'm not sure you're thinking rationally in your responses here.

Locke said:
Of course, scientific data doesn't matter to someone who's making up crap as he goes along. Forgive me, I'm expecting too much from you.

Following your logic, I guess I can't mention that I dislike chocolate ice cream until I can statistically show how much chocolate ice cream there is in the world. Because that would be scientific fact, right? I can't tell you that I wouldn't eat chocolate ice cream until I show you exact numbers as to how much chocolate ice cream exists compared to the other varieties of flavors out there.

I mean... really?

I'll underline this to help you see what how this applies:

IF CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM CONCEIVABLY EXISTS, I WOULD NOT LIKE TO EAT CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM.

IF WOMEN WHO TAKE ROM-COMS SERIOUSLY CONCEIVABLY EXIST, I WOULD NOT LIKE TO DATE WOMEN WHO TAKE ROM-COMS SERIOUSLY.

See how this works? It's a personal opinion that doesn't require statistics at all.

Are you just trolling or are you being serious? At this point it's hard to tell, but I'm leaning toward the former.

Locke said:
I'll put this simply: Making arrogant, shallow choices based on what kind of movies someone likes won't get you girls. It mostly just makes you sound like a jerk.

But good luck there, buddy! I'm sure the shallowness and arrogance will pay off eventually

Again, I'm not quite sure why you seem to think that this is my only criteria for finding a mate.

I'm not even sure why you seem to think that I'd even inform a girl that this is one of the things I'm keeping in mind when I'm evaluating a potential partner. It's the same as any other standard.

Maybe it's just that you think I shouldn't be allowed any personal standards for dating. Is that it?

What do you care?

How does this personally impact you? Why are you so worked up about it?

Locke said:
You are both free to not date women because they don't like rom-coms. I'm free to tell you that there's no actual justification for it. Anything you say to the contrary is just based on some imaginary group of women you've made up, and absolutely nothing more. But your buddy BJD doesn't believe in proof, and since you can't even bother to argue for yourself, I'm assuming you don't either.

Personal standards for dating are entirely subjective. Some people like things in partners that others don't.

I don't need a justification because the only person who I need to justify it to is... you guessed it: myself.

Locke said:
I'll put it simply for you both, one last time: Prove it! Prove that there's such a large amount of women who take it seriously that you have to worry about it. You can't. Nothing you say matters, because it's all made up. you're both wasting my time.

Yet again, you're operating on the assumption that I said there are large amounts of women who take these movies seriously.

Can you read?

Seriously. Go back and read every. post. I've. made.

I have always specifically stated that the number of women like this would be extremely low. I have always specifically stated that this was a hypothetical and a personal standard that I will choose to apply or not apply should the situation ever arise.

Locke said:
And judging someone based on their film choices is shallow and idiotic.

No it actually isn't.

It's personal preference.

Really, I wish you'd explain why this is such a personal issue for you.

Why do you feel that you need to protect women when they haven't actually been assaulted? I think that's the main problem here. You seem to have perceived an attack against women where none exists. I kindly suggest you take a few minutes to calm down, step back, re-read the thread, and then return with a calmer disposition and attempt to rationally discuss this.

Really, who am I harming? Even if you're right, I would only be harming myself and thus giving you a wider pool of women from which to seek a partner for yourself.

Again... please, for your own sake. Cool off a bit and come back when you can offer something rationally and calmly. Bring some actual arguments and then we can have a discussion.
 
kamya said:
They are either.

1) Man fucks up, woman leaves him, man changes, woman forgives him, they get together, end.
2) Man is perfect, woman is messed up, man has the patience and forgiveness of a god, woman realizes her mistake, they get together, end.

Don't forget the couple must be extremely attractive.

This, completely -.-

And of course, there's the whole 'misunderstanding' device, which apparently says that if you meet someone and he acts like a total ******, you have just met THE ONE ( buried under that cocky, bullshit exterior, but still. )
 
altghost said:
kamya said:
They are either.

1) Man fucks up, woman leaves him, man changes, woman forgives him, they get together, end.
2) Man is perfect, woman is messed up, man has the patience and forgiveness of a god, woman realizes her mistake, they get together, end.

Don't forget the couple must be extremely attractive.

This, completely -.-

And of course, there's the whole 'misunderstanding' device, which apparently says that if you meet someone and he acts like a total ******, you have just met THE ONE ( buried under that cocky, bullshit exterior, but still. )

I agree with both of these statements. I watch them, but I generally tend to find them redundant and ridiculous. lol
 
Another facet of a lot of rom-coms - the women spend all their time together talking about men. Or men, or - men. Or, just for a bit of variation, they obsess about - men.
 
Locke said:
Oh, I see. I'm wrong, but you can't explain why. Right. Just for future reference, you should try debating yourself sometime, if you actually have something valid to add.

I'm shaking my head in utter disbelief at this statement. I did explain why. You used fallacious logic. Generally speaking fallacious logic does not an argument make. I didn't want to go through your logic in detail because it's incredibly patronising. However, if you absolutely insist that I pick apart everything which doesn't make sense. Every error in logic, every missing causal link, every misrepresentation and every failed engagement... then I will. (But I warn you now... there is a lot.) I will try to explain things as I go along so that you're able to improve your argumentation skills.

As a side note I have indeed "tried debating." I was a competitive debater on the national circuit for over 6 years. I was the teacher of the advanced strategy class at university for it for 2 years. I trained gifted school children both as a coach to my old school and headed up the schools judges in the west midlands for both the Oxford and Cambridge schools competition. I've spoken in public grand finals where professors and doctors have come up to me after the debate to congratulate me on giving what they felt to be the best speech. Believe me, I'm very well versed in debating. I don't add this to brag... it's more context to let you know that I'm not just posturing, I do know what I'm talking about.

The first immediate thing that stuck out about what you were saying is that you were using fallacious logic. There are two types of logic you can use to connect statements. First is deductive logic. (An appropriate example would be: Rom means romantic. Com means comedy. Therefore rom com means romantic comedy.) Deductive logic is the most common type of logic which suffers from logical fallacies. An example of such a fallacy is "Men have two legs. Eve has two legs. Therefore Eve is a man." You've used an inductive logical fallacy. An example of inductive logic would be "The sun has risen every day in the past. Therefore, the sun will rise tomorrow." An example of an inductive logical fallacy would be "it has rained yesterday. Therefore it will rain tomorrow." There is also another type of inductive logical fallacy, whereby the initial data has no relevance to the theory posited. So that would be "The sun has risen every day in the past. Therefore it will rain tomorrow."

The problem I picked up from your early post was thus:
Locke said:
And pretending that there is any significant amount of people who take rom-coms seriously for use in relationships is like claiming that cops use "The Terminator" for training purposes.

It's a sarcastic take on trying to show the absurd extension of logic. Unfortunately, in doing so, the extension itself is an inductive logical fallacy. We need to translate it into what it is saying, rather than what it is not saying in order to make sense of this. Essentially this is saying "the cops do not use the terminator for training purposes. Therefore nobody would use a rom com as an influence on their approach to relationships." There's no evidentiary comparison between the two. Cops training programmes have no relevance to personal or emotional choices on the part of an individual. In essence it's a bit of a wasted sentence because it says nothing of any value for either side.

Locke said:
You could just as easily claim that there are men who's views on violence have been distorted by action movies and video games, and what woman would want to go out with a violent man? I was just playing "God of War", I don't have the sudden urge to chop someone's head off. In fact, you could replace rom-coms with any genre and come to the same conclusion, if you really wanted to.

This is a mixture of a logical fallacy combined with misrepresentation and a failed engagement on the argument. Let's start off with some context: there have actually been documented cases where men have played too much of a violent video game and then committed murder as a result. (There was someone in the UK who played Manhunt too much if I recall correctly.) The causal link used by scientists in this is that these violent video games provide a rewards system or positive reinforcement for simulated violent behaviour. This affects the brain and then the endorphins released for simulated violent behaviour are also released for small scale, real life, violent behaviour. That is how the leap is made from simulation to reality. Once that's made the positive reinforcement of the violent behaviour is either stopped by police arrest on the minor incident. Or it escalates because they've had the endorphin release from the minor behaviour. However, it is suggested that this will only affect a minority because the leap from simulation to reality is considered unlikely. (Note unlikely, not impossible. The factor that differs between those who have made the leap and the majority who haven't, is the way the minority become obsessed with it. However they believe it to be a loaded gun theory for the moment. The obsession loads the gun, but some other factor triggers it. They're not sure what yet.) The reason I'm putting this context around video games is because you leap from movies to video games and they are very different. Video games have interaction, while movies do not. This is a key difference in terms of brain function and learning capability. (Simply put: we learn better by doing.)

TV has had a similar case. I believe one woman who watched Dexter too much went out and killed a number of people, attributing it to her hero. Another killed his mother if memory serves. (I've added links to the stories on these from a quick google search. Unsure on the woman since the case seems to be ongoing.) These are people who watch or play to an obsessional level. The idea that having played a little God of War... you're suddenly going to cut someone's head off is not a relevant example because it does not fulfil the criteria of the causal link set out above. It is also possible to refute the God of War example because, as laid out above, video games have an interactive factor which movies do not. The example is therefore irrelevant. You should always try to avoid giving examples which come from a different medium to the one under discussion. It provides the easy dismissal as irrelevant and then places the burden back on you to prove that the example is logically comparable. However that doesn't ensure they can't still demonstrate the example to be irrelevant because of the specifics of the example itself compared to their causal link steps.

You can also not replace rom coms in there, because once again, the causal link is not satisfied. There is a separate causal link between rom coms and the idea that a person has begun harbouring unrealistic expectations of love. So what this does, is it fails to engage with the actual argument and instead engages with a separate point.

Locke said:
There's inevitably a group of people who haven had their views manipulated by movies, but until you have actual numbers, the whole argument is nothing but a generalization. Even if you had numbers, surveys are often debatable.

Now here you concede a point. This can be strategically useful in debating, however you concede exactly what we've been arguing. That there is a "group of people who have had their views manipulated by movies." We're not making a generalisation. Our position was clear from the start. We never suggested there was a significant number... just that they're out there and we have come across them.

Locke said:
BJD did nothing but defend his lame ass statement, and refuses to admit that this is all bullshit anyway. The amount of women who take rom-coms that seriously is about as small as the amount of men who turn violent after watching an action flick. It's a non-issue. I attempted to explain this to you before, and somehow you're not getting it.

Three sentences here. First is a statement. Statements are of little use in debating because they hold no logic or cause. They hold no weight as an argument. The only use is when you either provide context or state facts/truisms. (That being, something everyone in the debate will agree on. For example: murder is bad. However there are no pure truisms in debating. If we take the above example, there are debates where it would become a point of contention as to whether murder is bad or not.) In a debate, opposing factual statements get resolved by a judge. (For example: person A says the table is blue. Person B says no, the table is brown. The judge knows which fact is right and declares that statement to stand.) Stating an argument on the other hand is meaningless on it's own. It's the equivalent of two people shouting at each other that they're wrong. (Example: person A states abortion is morally wrong. Person B states abortion is not morally wrong.) If you take that, it all just keeps going in circles and it's absolute waste of time. As a result such arguments are said to "not stand." Arguments which don't stand, don't need to be addressed because it's a waste of time. (Why argue against something which has no reasoning behind it?) So you need to add some context/factual basis or truisms to these arguments to show that they stand.

The second is a repetition of the previous argument. The third is another statement. No causal links to make the arguments stand.

Locke said:
You are both free to not date women because they don't like rom-coms. I'm free to tell you that there's no actual justification for it.

More statements with no step by step causal link or any logic. I'm assuming these are meant to be contextual to explain the following sentence. (Which I'll examine below.) But the contextual basis you start out with can be summed up as "you can have your opinion and I'll have mine." Resorting to talk of opinions in a debate is probably the worst thing you can do because it implicitly suggests you don't believe your side is right.

Locke said:
Anything you say to the contrary is just based on some imaginary group of women you've made up, and absolutely nothing more. But your buddy BJD doesn't believe in proof, and since you can't even bother to argue for yourself, I'm assuming you don't either.

Right, this is called a false statement. It's where you state something that the other side will refute. I've explained that usually a judge will decide which is right when this happens. (A judge will make a note of a statement which is incorrect in case it is challenged. They call this a false statement. This is different to the previous statements I've pointed out because it is something which can be factually proven wrong. In this case, because we've met such women, we know they exist.) That's why it's a good idea to avoid statements beyond facts/truisms or contextual facts/truisms. We've both said we've met women like this. So what's happening here is we're engaging with your point "these women are imaginary" by pointing out that we've met them, therefore they are not imaginary. This shifts the burden of proof to you, where you now have to demonstrate through logical causal steps why such a woman would never exist. That's a very weak position to end up in. It would have been best to avoid the topic in the first place I think and just conceded that from the start. This is followed by some posturing and asking for proof. I'll deal with that in a minute because you repeat yourself further down.

Locke said:
Nice try though.

More pointless posturing.

Locke said:
I'll put it simply for you both, one last time: Prove it! Prove that there's such a large amount of women who take it seriously that you have to worry about it. You can't. Nothing you say matters, because it's all made up. you're both wasting my time.

Okay, here is a misrepresentation. It attempts to engage with the argument by misrepresenting it. Usually in a proper debate, a judge will pick this up and I've seen it cost real debaters the room (sometimes even the competition in the case of one I saw. Someone misinterpreted a strong argument as transferring all governmental financial aid to the provision of sports equipment. They were actually talking about ground based NGOs, a pretty significant difference in terms of wider implications. Much easier to argue against the former, much harder to argue against the latter. Hence why they did it... they thought they were being clever. That's just an aside.)

We don't have to prove that a "large number of women" have this issue. That was never our stance. Our stance was that some women have it, which since you've already conceded the earlier point that some can be affected... that's where the point ends. However, we do believe that we have to take it seriously. The reason for this one is simple: we care about who we get into a relationship with. (contextual truism.) we do not wish to get into a relationship with a lady who has unrealistic expectations of love. (contextual truism.) Some women are affected by the movies (conceded point) and we believe we need to watch out for those women (statement of the argument to be connected) because, no matter how small their number, we do not want to be in a relationship with them. (Causal link back to truism.) I've broken this one down for you to try and help you understand the way an argument is put together. A number of statements which are agreed upon and then you need a causal link to logically connect your argument to this.

You add some more posturing too, but we'll skim over that since it's irrelevant and I'm trying to help here.

Locke said:
And judging someone based on their film choices is shallow and idiotic. I know I've already said that, but neither of you seems to understand.

Okay, this is a statement of argument, followed by a statement/posturing. The interesting one about this argument is that it can be rebutted from two separate angles. Either down the route of "romantic selection is shallow in the first place" or "we've demonstrated earlier why we believe a strangely heavy interest in rom coms could be an issue." If you wanted to strengthen your argument, you'd need to address why it is shallow. Why it is idiotic. Without looking at the foundations of your argument, it will never stand up. It'll just be an assertion. I've explained earlier why that's bad, and provided an example as to how you put together an argument properly. On its basis... it's not a terrible one if you could make it properly. But as I said above, it can be rebutted so it's quite weak.

The thing is, I fully understand what you're saying. And I don't agree with you because I don't believe that there is strong enough logical reasoning behind your assertions. Trying to derail the debate by misinterpreting, and thereby failing to engage with the arguments, is not going to convince me that BJD is wrong. A large proportion of what you write is irrelevant statements, assertions, posturing and so forth. When you break it down... there's not that much to rebut or actually address from my side of the table. Remember that debating is all about coming to the right conclusion. Hopefully the examples and explanations in this post will allow you to express yourself a little better so that you and everyone else will be able to understand whether you're coming to the right conclusion or not.

I'm not entirely certain what your stance is because you appear to be outraged by the misinterpretation of BJD's stance, rather than his stance in itself. Hope it's cleared up now for you.
 
Nightwing said:
I'm not entirely certain what your stance is because you appear to be outraged by the misinterpretation of BJD's stance, rather than his stance in itself. Hope it's cleared up now for you.

I only quoted this last portion of your post because otherwise I would have just copied and pasted your entire post into my quote box. :p

You've stated my case far more eloquently than I have, I think.

I tip my hat to ye, sir.
 
Badjedidude said:
Nightwing said:
I only quoted this last portion of your post because otherwise I would have just copied and pasted your entire post into my quote box. :p

You've stated my case far more eloquently than I have, I think.

I tip my hat to ye, sir.


The only case you have is that you're able to pull bullshit out of thin air any time you want. I won't get into much into why that's so idiotic, I'm sure you need to go give someone permission to add friends on Facebook, like you did in another thread. That's just the kind of dumbass stuff you do around here, right? How very sad for you. My problem is that your first post was a pointless generalization. But if you're so shallow and simple-minded that you want to judge people on the movies they watch, even though there are only a few who take movies that seriously, be my guest. Most people would realize how ******* stupid that is, but I guess you're "special", aren't you?

"I won't date a woman who likes chocolate ice cream! Wahhh!"

Lol, as if a guy like you has to worry about dating. However low your standards are, you're going to have to lower them a lot further (as in borrow money from your parents so you can pay a woman to go out with you). You've been here for around 4 or 5 years now, right? Lol, just wait another 4 or 5 years. You'll still be right here making dumb ass statements about women who you'll never meet. I'd feel sorry for you if I didn't think you deserved it.

Think about what I've said tonight while you're hugging your pillow and saying "I'm okay being alone, I'm okay being alone..." over and over again. For now on when I think of what a loser really is, I'll think of you. Enjoy your pathetic life of solitude, little man.
 

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