Alonewith2cats
Well-known member
I had a Saturday night that really made me emotionally very upset. I'm going to be vague in describing what happened to me because I don't want to offend anyone. This is a subject that deals with the subject of interracial dating and how a friend of mine who I have known since high school reacted to the fact that I'm highly attracted to people of a certain race, I would like to explain that this does not mean I'm only attracted to this specific race of people, I'm very open-minded and just as capable of being attracted to someone who is not of a certain race or ethnicity, it's just that I find many of these people very attractive and I understand that there is nothing wrong with it.
I haven't seen this friend in a long time so we got together on a Saturday, we went to a pool party and then we went out dancing. I told her about an upcoming date that I have with a guy I met on line from a certain country. Before we went dancing we went to Cocos for a bite to eat with another friend of hers. The guy who was nice enough to take us out had to witness a wicked fight between 2 women, I feel sorry for him that he had to watch this. My friend had some negative things to say in regards to the fact that I'm highly attracted to a certain race of people including she told me that I'm "obsessed with them." That offended me and made me very angry. Being highly attracted to people with specific features or of a certain race or ethnicity does not make me "obsessed with them." I told her she was very wrong for saying this to me, I repeated over and over again to her that it should not matter to anyone but myself who I want to date and I also called her racist. I realize that when I called her that I did that loudly in the restaurant because I was so offended that it was difficult for me to keep a low tone of voice after what she said to me. She was very offended that I called her racist and she called me a stupid *****. She then said some very hurtful things to me and I cried. I told her she is not my friend, that after all these years of friendship, is being abusive and I felt like she stabbed me in the back, and I didn't want to go dancing, I said I want her friend to take me home and I never want to see her again and she really crossed the line with me by calling me a name, and I told her she pretty much threw our friendship away. She continued to react defensively and things got heated and she got meaner, even to the point of saying "Do you ever wonder why you're single?" Whatever she could say do to throw verbal swords at me while continued to verbally defend myself. She accused me of acting like a victim while I expressed how horrible it was for me to be stuck having dinner with her, waiting for her friend to finish his steak so I can get out of this hostile situation.
After some time passed, we apologized to each other, talked things out, went dancing and hugged at the end of the evening. However I have to say things are not the same in this friendship. I no longer trust her and won't be contacting her for a long time. I told another friend this story and she told me I was wrong to call her racist, that just because someone makes a comment or expresses an opinion, even if it's offensive to me does not give me the right to call someone racist and that I can make enemies and people are going to hurt me if I act like this and she was surprised we didn't get kicked out of the restaurant.
Excuse me but if someone has an issue with me dating someone of a certain race or ethnicity, how is that not racist??? Just how wrong was I?
I haven't seen this friend in a long time so we got together on a Saturday, we went to a pool party and then we went out dancing. I told her about an upcoming date that I have with a guy I met on line from a certain country. Before we went dancing we went to Cocos for a bite to eat with another friend of hers. The guy who was nice enough to take us out had to witness a wicked fight between 2 women, I feel sorry for him that he had to watch this. My friend had some negative things to say in regards to the fact that I'm highly attracted to a certain race of people including she told me that I'm "obsessed with them." That offended me and made me very angry. Being highly attracted to people with specific features or of a certain race or ethnicity does not make me "obsessed with them." I told her she was very wrong for saying this to me, I repeated over and over again to her that it should not matter to anyone but myself who I want to date and I also called her racist. I realize that when I called her that I did that loudly in the restaurant because I was so offended that it was difficult for me to keep a low tone of voice after what she said to me. She was very offended that I called her racist and she called me a stupid *****. She then said some very hurtful things to me and I cried. I told her she is not my friend, that after all these years of friendship, is being abusive and I felt like she stabbed me in the back, and I didn't want to go dancing, I said I want her friend to take me home and I never want to see her again and she really crossed the line with me by calling me a name, and I told her she pretty much threw our friendship away. She continued to react defensively and things got heated and she got meaner, even to the point of saying "Do you ever wonder why you're single?" Whatever she could say do to throw verbal swords at me while continued to verbally defend myself. She accused me of acting like a victim while I expressed how horrible it was for me to be stuck having dinner with her, waiting for her friend to finish his steak so I can get out of this hostile situation.
After some time passed, we apologized to each other, talked things out, went dancing and hugged at the end of the evening. However I have to say things are not the same in this friendship. I no longer trust her and won't be contacting her for a long time. I told another friend this story and she told me I was wrong to call her racist, that just because someone makes a comment or expresses an opinion, even if it's offensive to me does not give me the right to call someone racist and that I can make enemies and people are going to hurt me if I act like this and she was surprised we didn't get kicked out of the restaurant.
Excuse me but if someone has an issue with me dating someone of a certain race or ethnicity, how is that not racist??? Just how wrong was I?