So called friends

[Conspiracy]

Hello, i have never made a thread before so bare with me. im a collage student, im 18, and im living in an apartment with my two best friends. we have been friends since highschool and decided to live together while we go to collage. its been about a month since we moved in together and there have been major problems already. our other good friend from highschool is also going to the same school as us, and has an apartment down the street from us. this so called friend has tormented me my whole life (i wont get specific but i really would never talk to him again given a choice), and now that im off on my own he still has managed to give me hell on a whole new level. :club: Then there's my longtime friend that i have never had problems with until now. This is the current situation, my shitty friend has a cycle, you let him into your heart, and then he lies through his teeth and turns my other friends against me because i think he is jelous of me. this time, we had some things go missing from our apartment, and he has a history of theft. so me and one of my roommates which he has stolen from before instantly suspected him, because coencidentally he had been acting very strange and antisocial earlier that day. well short story is we confronted him and he was innocent for once in his life.. which made us look like asses in front of our third roommate and him. well, that caused alot of tension between all of us but we continued for a few days before it all blew up. when it did blow up i got tackeled by the roommate that didn't accuse my friend of anything and he almost choked me to death. he did not apologize for this and tried to play it off the next day like it didnt happen. now i am here writing all this and i have been ostrichized by all of them and i feel like crying and i dont know how to deal with it. what should i do?

 

[Sci-Fi]

First of all, I wouldn't call this "so called friend" that has given you grief over the years a friend, I could think of a few other names from them but they aren't very polite.

Second, moving in with "friends" is never a good idea. You find things out about them that you didn't know, things that annoy you, even the little things. Plus you just get on each others nerves after awhile, it is bound to happen. As well, being "friends" causes some to use or abuse that friendship.

My only suggestion would be to move out, live on your own if you can or find one person you can really trust to move in with. Especially if one attacked you, that is not someone you want to live with or even be around. Move back home if you can or in with a relative until you find someplace else.

 

[Tiina63]

I agree with Sci-fi. I wouldn't call that 'friend' who has been so abusive towards you a friend. And it would be best if you were to move out, and maybe look for new friends. Good luck.

 

[LoneKiller]

First of all, I wouldn't call this "so called friend" that has given you grief over the years a friend, I could think of a few other names from them but they aren't very polite.

Second, moving in with "friends" is never a good idea. You find things out about them that you didn't know, things that annoy you, even the little things. Plus you just get on each others nerves after awhile, it is bound to happen. As well, being "friends" causes some to use or abuse that friendship.

My only suggestion would be to move out, live on your own if you can or find one person you can really trust to move in with. Especially if one attacked you, that is not someone you want to live with or even be around. Move back home if you can or in with a relative until you find someplace else.

I'm leaning more towards Sci-Fi's viewpoint as well.

 

[Rolo]

Like everyone else has said, using the term "friend" isnt really applicable to someone that has been a total arse to you!

How long is it that you have left in the house? Do you have to find another place each year or is it a fixed thing? Im not sure how it works where you are. If it changes everytime you start a new term/year whatever, then maybe try and find a place with some class mates or something rather than staying with them. Here, I had a friend who moved in with all his friends and by the end of the year they all hated each other lmao Its good seeing your friends but living with them is a whole new game.

If you are supposed to stay in the same place all the time that you are at college, then try your best to stay away from them when they are causing greif- I know that it would be best to move out, but in most cases thats not possible- houses are expensive-especially for a student living alone. you pretty much have to share.
What I would do in your situation is do my best to find some people that have a spare bed and are willing to let me move in. If that isnt possible, does your college have a place where people advertise for housemates? if they do put up and advert. I know it sounds mad moving in with strangers but if they are at the same college and everything it probs is safe. If not, if you know someone with a spare sofa, ask if you could use that and offer to help round the house as a thank you just to get away from it all.
Also, for any guy sharing a place at college/uni- always try your best to move in with at least one female! I say this because a housefull of guys is going to be (in most cases) a mess and filled with typical macho behaviour of getting pissed and fighting. With a woman, men are more likely to be cleaner and behave when there is a girl around. Unless its single sex, then try going for the more reserved guys and expect a mess!

I hope it works out for you

 

[nerdygirl]

Living with friends can work, but it takes the right friends. The people you described are not the right friends. You'd have been better off with people you didn't really know. Moving can be hard, though... so I'd suggest hanging out with other people and just trying to be on a neutral basis with your roommates, unless the tension gets to be too much.

 

[rosebud]

Being roommates with friends is no good. There will always be useless stress that can be avoided. It's like giving money to relatives - not a good idea. I'm with Sci-Fi on this one - find a place on your own.