Haz
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- Dec 13, 2009
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I recently lost my job due to some harassment issues with the bosses son. I held great pride in what I did, it was an incredible struggle to get to where I was. and whilst not every night went right for me I regularly felt the thrill of success, a sense of direction and how my new found confidence just snowballed my emotions into a wildly sublime feeling. I was working for people I held great love and respect for, and could not be beaten.
Or at least I thought. This man destroyed it all. He saw my pride, he saw my confidence, he saw my dignity, and he did not like it. Like a cancer, he wormed his way into my space there and perverted everything which was good. It started with the jokes. Seemingly harmless and innocent enough to begin with, they became evidently crueler and masking sadistic intentions as time passed on. My role with an 18 yr old sick work experience girl going blind in one eye, suffering dyslexia and inability to tell her left from right was to train her, but every night he strained this relationship by making sexual jokes about us, and ultimately not letting up every time I made eye contact with him about "my girlfriend". I tried taking it in good humour at first, but it became very old, very quick. He was getting sleazier and sleazier, and one night he made a joke about her in front of everybody I worked with about me taking advantage of her. I tried to challenge him in good humour by saying "uh, she's not my type. she's a bit young" but all this saw was the room erupt in laughter. I was not comfortable with this at all, and he started making jokes about me staring at everybody's ass. It was getting really obnoxious, I am no prude when it comes to sexual humour but this guy was pushing my limits. I talked to the manager about it later on, and he insisted he was just joking. He gave me a long talk about my depression with the other chef and I felt closer than ever to those two guys, even if they seemed to avoid talking about the bosses son (I know they both dislike him) they seemed genuinely concerned about me.
A week passed. The girl disappeared, I don't know what happened but I suspect she was told to leave because of me, or she was offended by that guy and his snide humour. In any case I thought it might stop, but no. Even after he was told she wasn't working there, he kept going on about "my girlfriend". He made retarded jokes how I was a "sick c*nt" and I drove her way from the establishment. I just ignored him, and felt a minor victory in this. The next week would see me build my strengths back up again and stop dreading seeing him so much, he didn't come in often but when he did he didn't talk to me. I was back in control.
But then he started again. And he really upped the ante, finding an excuse in everything I would say to belittle me telling me to get used to it. I started giving it back, using my wit he had never had to deal with before and things went weird. He started talking to me normally. Rationally, like a human being. Asking me about my life, and in general being less of a prat than usual. I figured finally, i've achieved some sort of a compromise with this guy. But one of the chefs called my name when he needed something one afternoon, and I said "Yes Sir". This seemed to be the straw that broke the camels back, immediately he started questioning me why they get superiority and I just call him by his name. He phrased in a way that sounded like he was joking, and I deflected it and changed the subject. He started talking to me about gambling of all things, and i'm like okay. I started trying to be civil talking to him then he screwed up his face and walked off. The chef pulled me over later and said "you shouldn't have called me Sir in front of him. He is a big honeysuckle". I only later came to realise what he meant by this the following night.
Anyway, one of the best afternoons I have had there. He walks in, immediately starts calling me "Sir". He would walk out of the front office every five minutes, just to call me "Sir" with this really strong emphasis on the word and make stupid jokes that didn't make any sense. Anyway he walks out later, i'm cleaning a coffee cup with a towel and he says my name. I'm like "Yeah, what? I'm listening". Not looking at him. "Look at me" he says, so I did. And he goes "Yesterday we agreed to call each other Sir". I said "We were only joking, right?". And he goes "No." and just gives me this weird stare. He says "I don't just call any c*nt Sir". And exasperated i'm like "Just call me by name then". And he says "I will. You know what you can call me?". I said "What?". and he says "Your Highness". I just look at him like is the biggest wanker ever, and he starts cackling. I just knew at that point he was a passive aggressive gardenia trying to bully me out of my job, so I told the management after he walked off. I was greeted with a lukewarm reception, and offended his mother. They put on this really fake, insincere front that it wouldn't happen again. And I just knew, I had no trust in these people. The branch doesn't fall too far from the tree.
I ended up packing up my stuff and leaving immediately when he walked back in, and was rather distressed. I rang the owner later, and what do I know i'm scum of the earth all of a sudden and everybody has lost respect for me. She would not listen to me, and would not put this guy at fault on any level, he's only joking etc. It's my inability to cope with the pressure of the job that is causing all of this (strangely ignoring all the praise she had given me about how efficient I was). I think it's for the best I quit, but here I am looking for jobs uncertain of the future. It's been a huge blow to my confidence and self-esteem, and I feel it trying to arrange interviews with employers. I definitely feel guilty about a lot of things.
Or at least I thought. This man destroyed it all. He saw my pride, he saw my confidence, he saw my dignity, and he did not like it. Like a cancer, he wormed his way into my space there and perverted everything which was good. It started with the jokes. Seemingly harmless and innocent enough to begin with, they became evidently crueler and masking sadistic intentions as time passed on. My role with an 18 yr old sick work experience girl going blind in one eye, suffering dyslexia and inability to tell her left from right was to train her, but every night he strained this relationship by making sexual jokes about us, and ultimately not letting up every time I made eye contact with him about "my girlfriend". I tried taking it in good humour at first, but it became very old, very quick. He was getting sleazier and sleazier, and one night he made a joke about her in front of everybody I worked with about me taking advantage of her. I tried to challenge him in good humour by saying "uh, she's not my type. she's a bit young" but all this saw was the room erupt in laughter. I was not comfortable with this at all, and he started making jokes about me staring at everybody's ass. It was getting really obnoxious, I am no prude when it comes to sexual humour but this guy was pushing my limits. I talked to the manager about it later on, and he insisted he was just joking. He gave me a long talk about my depression with the other chef and I felt closer than ever to those two guys, even if they seemed to avoid talking about the bosses son (I know they both dislike him) they seemed genuinely concerned about me.
A week passed. The girl disappeared, I don't know what happened but I suspect she was told to leave because of me, or she was offended by that guy and his snide humour. In any case I thought it might stop, but no. Even after he was told she wasn't working there, he kept going on about "my girlfriend". He made retarded jokes how I was a "sick c*nt" and I drove her way from the establishment. I just ignored him, and felt a minor victory in this. The next week would see me build my strengths back up again and stop dreading seeing him so much, he didn't come in often but when he did he didn't talk to me. I was back in control.
But then he started again. And he really upped the ante, finding an excuse in everything I would say to belittle me telling me to get used to it. I started giving it back, using my wit he had never had to deal with before and things went weird. He started talking to me normally. Rationally, like a human being. Asking me about my life, and in general being less of a prat than usual. I figured finally, i've achieved some sort of a compromise with this guy. But one of the chefs called my name when he needed something one afternoon, and I said "Yes Sir". This seemed to be the straw that broke the camels back, immediately he started questioning me why they get superiority and I just call him by his name. He phrased in a way that sounded like he was joking, and I deflected it and changed the subject. He started talking to me about gambling of all things, and i'm like okay. I started trying to be civil talking to him then he screwed up his face and walked off. The chef pulled me over later and said "you shouldn't have called me Sir in front of him. He is a big honeysuckle". I only later came to realise what he meant by this the following night.
Anyway, one of the best afternoons I have had there. He walks in, immediately starts calling me "Sir". He would walk out of the front office every five minutes, just to call me "Sir" with this really strong emphasis on the word and make stupid jokes that didn't make any sense. Anyway he walks out later, i'm cleaning a coffee cup with a towel and he says my name. I'm like "Yeah, what? I'm listening". Not looking at him. "Look at me" he says, so I did. And he goes "Yesterday we agreed to call each other Sir". I said "We were only joking, right?". And he goes "No." and just gives me this weird stare. He says "I don't just call any c*nt Sir". And exasperated i'm like "Just call me by name then". And he says "I will. You know what you can call me?". I said "What?". and he says "Your Highness". I just look at him like is the biggest wanker ever, and he starts cackling. I just knew at that point he was a passive aggressive gardenia trying to bully me out of my job, so I told the management after he walked off. I was greeted with a lukewarm reception, and offended his mother. They put on this really fake, insincere front that it wouldn't happen again. And I just knew, I had no trust in these people. The branch doesn't fall too far from the tree.
I ended up packing up my stuff and leaving immediately when he walked back in, and was rather distressed. I rang the owner later, and what do I know i'm scum of the earth all of a sudden and everybody has lost respect for me. She would not listen to me, and would not put this guy at fault on any level, he's only joking etc. It's my inability to cope with the pressure of the job that is causing all of this (strangely ignoring all the praise she had given me about how efficient I was). I think it's for the best I quit, but here I am looking for jobs uncertain of the future. It's been a huge blow to my confidence and self-esteem, and I feel it trying to arrange interviews with employers. I definitely feel guilty about a lot of things.
