So this probably is the end

[Arnaert]

of my time at this site.

I think I am gonna die. I know you people tried to encourage me not killing myself which is great of you(except for you insensitive people talking *******, seriously there is more to life & I don't "fresia"). The encouragement is much appreciated, but to be honest, it couldn't change my mind.
I can't stop feeling pain, every breath I take hurts me to the core.
It won't stop until I end it. It will be relief. I don't have anything I NEED to worry about. My family, friends, ect. My family looks down upon me so much & I dun really have friends, the ones I do can live without me trust me. I can't escape in any other way. I've tried creative ventures, I'm horrible at everything. The only time I feel ok is when I'm asleep so I figure why not the eternal sleep?

People always ignore me anyway, they won't notice.
So bye. Everything is what it is.

 

[Unacceptance]

It's all in your mind. It only hurts because you let it.

Don't lay down and let life kick you, stand your ground defiantly.

This helped me a long time ago when I felt that way...

[youtube]_ltA5kTAzos[/youtube]

 

[Spare]

Give life a chance. You never know what wonders it might bring.

 

[DayvanCowboy]

Arnaert, you really need to look for something. I don't know what to say because I know whatever I post will not help you. You made another thread before and I could tell it really did do nothing for you.

I know you are one of the most interesting people here. You have such good taste in music and reading about your hatred of peaches in the chat room a couple of weeks ago was hilarious. I don't know many people like that. It would be awesome if you stayed around and just tried to look for a way to lose that feeling instead of just giving up. Try and fight it.

I did the exact same thing a little over a month ago and I tried. I really did. Now I am so glad I did not end up finishing myself off because I get a chance to get back at things. I've gained a type of fearlessness on life. I feel like me being alive will be the best in the end. Just think a little bit. Just a little will be enough and I hope it takes you a long way.

Don't we all feel great when we are asleep? I sure do. Its been a rough year for yourself, but I hope you are lurking here and see that people right now are doing anything they can to contact you and help you.

 

[bookbinder]

Two things. Since I was the person who precipitated all the "*******" talk, I gotta apologize for the fact that maybe my words weren't politically correct enough. My exact quote was as follows:

"If you haven't gotten laid yet (and this goes for everyone who hasn't) than there's no reason you should be contemplating suicide.

Do some *******, and then we'll talk."


Now, it's not in my nature to say honeysuckle the wishy-washy way, so I wrote it thus. But if you need a translation, here's one: find someone you care about enough to risk bringing children into the world. Or, at least find people who you can enjoy sharing (for example, anatomy) with. That's some pretty sound ******* advice. I'd rather not be called insensitive because that just makes me look like a *******.

And to Arnaert:

Unless you're a pyschic, there's no reason to call it quits. It's incredibly narrow-minded to assume that just because honeysuckle sucks today it'll suck tomorrow. It's ignorant, really. If you have internet, then you must not be chilling in a third world country. So right there we can assume you have clothes, somewhat of a clean water system, and food- fresia, you might even have some chocolate laying around. Chocolate's good. So right there you're doing better than 3/4 of the world's population. Probably even more. Factor in the internet...you see where I'm going with this?

My point is, you're already doing better than a lot of folks. No reason to assume honeysuckle won't get better.

I have a feeling that won't convince you, and so I have to break out my possibly "insensitive" honeysuckle because it's how I really feel and this place is supposed to be big on feelings:

Quite frankly, suicide is for lazy people. Anybody can off themselves. It takes real effort to get through the pain and suffering of everyday life. It takes a little blood to get out of bed. It's takes some sweat to get through the day. It takes tears to crawl back into bed, knowing there's no one there to take you into their arms. And the next day it starts right back up again. Nobody said that honeysuckle was easy.

But you have to do it. Even as you sit there and think, what a ******* waste, you have to. Because even if you have nothing else, you have the fact that you're up. That you're alive. And while you may not have life seeming out of your ******* pores and butterflies coming out your ass, the fact that you're up is good enough. The rest is totally up to you. Your life is worth whatever you make it. There's no deadline. There's no standard. Find the smallest thing that makes you happy and start with that. You've got a while to go, but ******* happiness awaits.

I'm feeling a little slutty (this really has gone on for way to long) because I'm a pessimist, so this is technically against my philosphy, but it's not really...

because when I think about it, I know the universe sucks balls, but I stick around because I know there's a lot of humor to be found in a negative universe. I believe pessimism and laughter go hand in hand, no ******* lie. And that's my happiness, odd as it sounds. also, many people find a little moody pessimism very sexy, which also helps.

 

[SadRabbit]

Arnaert, hi haven't been on the forum for a long time so I might have not noticed you...or infact this is my first time getting to know you. Its true, life is not about *******. There is more towards that, and that my friend is love. And, girl, give yourself some credit. You say you suck at everything else....but hey, you tried...you gave yourself a shot...I for one think you rock for being a girl that tries. You see girl, life is not about always being the best in everything you do girl. None of us are. But most importantly, you enjoy it. Like guitar. You enjoy playing guitar right? So who cares if you take triple the time to master it. You are enjoying what you do. And girl, don't take your life away. Give yourself a chance to experience love. No harm anyway living right? So why not stay on, and maybe if you open your heart, you will find lots of love in this world =)

 

[VanillaCreme]

I don't know what I can say to help you, or to change your mind. But I will suggest for you to find something. Everyone has a calling in life, and some just need to find theirs. Who knows what you will get into a few years from now. It may be a life changing thing for you, or for others. You may change someone else's life eventually. Life is what you make of it. Honestly, I'd just find a little craft or something. Something to occupy my time.

 

[Bluey]

Arnaert, It is absolute honeysuckle when your feeling that crap. You struggle to find a reason from minute to minute to carry on and I have felt so Down that I was unable to even pick myself up from of the floor. Just laid there with no energy. You really don't know what is around the corner though.

You finish it and there is no coming back. You mess up trying to finish it and you could leave your self disabled in some way. Think about that? You would have the same pain has you have now but well then have to deal with physical problems has well.

Pleas go here http://www.alonelylife.com/suicide-t-3079.html and use that thread to make a call or Email and get your self some help. Feeling this depressed is not your felt and there is help out there. You just have to ask. Nobody knows your feeling this bad in less you tell them. What do you have to loss by picking up the phone or Emailing some one in a professional seance? You have nothing to loss by asking for help and telling someone how bad you feel. You do however have everything to make by doing this.

There is one good thing about being at rock bottom, There is only one way to go from there and that's back up.

PM me anytime you like and I well reply to you has soon has I can.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Arnaret, I'm sorry if i offened you in anyways.

I know you're trying. I don't know how it is to walk in your shoes.
I don't know how you feel or what you go through exactly.

Yes..I felt every breathe I took was painful after i tried to commit suicide.
The floor felt like sharp knives stabing my feet everytime i took a step as i walked out of the hospital.
I felt I was a burden on everyone. Even the people that reached out to me after that ordeal,
I felt only hung around me becuase they felt sorry for me.
I felt even more ashame and guilt about myself.
I hated myself and hated everyone around me.
I hated the dotors and nursed that brought me back to life.
I didn't think the pain would ever stopped...

But it did...Arnet...it did...the pain stopped.
I didn't think my life would ever changed...but it did.
That was over 20 years ago. I lived through so many, many beautiful and wonderful experince since then.

To be honest...I hit another bottom when I signed on this site.
Yes...I thought about taking my own life again...the day i registor on this forum.
yes the pain was great...no denying that.
i kicked, i scream, i cried throught it all.
I've never felt so much pains and hurt in my life this time. I didn't see any piont in going on either.
I had no reasons to live...I felt so tired of living.
I hung on...I hung on. I knew I wasn't well...I knew I needed help.
No, the pain hasn't completely gone away, but i do feel more happiness in my life today than I feel the pains.
My life had changed in a lot of ways...yet it hasn't.
I have alot of people in my life today. I allow people in my life today. There's love and happiness in my life today again.

It's been proven that sex release nature indorphine to help relieve depression...especailly in women.
(Area 25 of the brain). This area of the brain if not simulated cuases depression, sloth, depair..etc.
Yes chocolate is also a feel good food. Sun flower seeds and spinish also helps depression.
Excersizing also helps depression.. Sunlight also helps depression.

 

[wolfshadow]

ARNAERT - You must believe me this "pain" will not last forever. What are you 16-17? The next 5 or 6 years are the ones in which you can begin to empower yourself as a person and as a woman. There are so many choices ahead of you for christ's sake please, please, don't be conned out of making them by the misery of the present!!!!!!!!!!

 

[ExtensivexLDL]

Get help from someone Arnaert.. IMMEDIATELY.. help someone find you a counsellor.. if you go to school, find someone to talk to there.. These forums can only do so much if you're feeling this down .. and RECONSIDER.. suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.. A lot of people go through this and once they get through, they come out a stronger person..
--All the very best

 

[SophiaGrace]

of my time at this site.

I think I am gonna die. I know you people tried to encourage me not killing myself which is great of you(except for you insensitive people talking *******, seriously there is more to life & I don't "fresia"). The encouragement is much appreciated, but to be honest, it couldn't change my mind.
I can't stop feeling pain, every breath I take hurts me to the core.
It won't stop until I end it. It will be relief. I don't have anything I NEED to worry about. My family, friends, ect. My family looks down upon me so much & I dun really have friends, the ones I do can live without me trust me. I can't escape in any other way. I've tried creative ventures, I'm horrible at everything. The only time I feel ok is when I'm asleep so I figure why not the eternal sleep?

People always ignore me anyway, they won't notice.
So bye. Everything is what it is.

=(

dont do it!

please?!

T_T

I wish I had the words...to make things ok for you. I wish I knew your life story more so I could offer specific advice. I wish I could take away your pain.

But my words feel ineffectual...and...that disturbs me a lot.

So i am reduced to this:

Please dont do it. Please? Talk to me in chat. . You helped me and I want to help you.

 

[Nyktimos]

Arnaert, in your previous thread you said we should give you more credit than to think it's just teenage angst, and blame it on your age. I don't believe it is your age. You're a bright and deep thinking young woman, that comes across from your posts. But you should give some of us a little more credit than to think some of us haven't been through this feeling ourselves at various points in our lives. I don't necessarily mean those who have struggled to come to terms with a tragedy in their lives, or those who have so far failed to find love.

Some of us know what it feels like to see others getting on with their business, driven by ambition, pleasure seeking or just wasting time aimlessly, apparently oblivious to the pointlessness of their existence. We've considered what instinct it is that keeps those folks going, especially those who have no direction, and we've questioned why we lack that instinct when nothing in our world has done us any real direct harm, we simply have no place or point in it and can find no worthwhile fulfilment.

When people tell you that the feeling will and can pass; that you can distract yourself long enough to find a way to reach out to the world and feel as though you have a place, they talk from experience. The thought of suicide seems to free our minds from the daunting task of continuing that fight that offers no guarantees, but suicide will be an option your whole life. It doesn't have to be the only option so early on.

Please, please don't stop trying to reach out to people, though it may fatigue you to keep pressing on. You make such a difference to people on ALL.com, and while it always feels that we each are the only ones who understand our own special brand of pain and loneliness when people are telling us not to do what we feel is our only solution, it is precisely because they have been through similar feelings that they beg us not to throw away our chances in one act.

 

[Tramp]

This is one of those times when you feel so hopeless because you know that no matter what you do, you won't be of any help to another person. Arnaert, I know whatever I say here may not be of great help because after all I'm a stranger who's probably a good few hundred miles away and hardly knows anything about your life, but if it's of any consolation, you're not alone out there. Take this site for example - there are so many people experiencing so much pain and yet they are going on with life. Please please please don't do this to yourself. You're only a teenager and have your whole life ahead of you. We can't predict the future, so we won't know whether we have good things lying ahead of us unless we live it.

 

[kelthuzad]

hey Arnaert

I think i can identify with you very well, I've had thoughts of the sort you describe a lot of times... still do actually, from time to time.

Ive been going through some..changes lately, mostly changes in the way how i percieve things..life..whatever

anyways, one of the important things ive learned is *dont let your happiness, or well being, or will to do things depend on other people*

simply put, if someone is being a dick to you, there's no reason for YOU to be upset because SOMEONE else is a retard. that same argument goes for friends, family, everything.. you need to like yourself and take care of yourself..

I know i suck at encouraging other people, but for what its worth, i can very cautiously say that my life has improved over the past half year, a lot thanks to the people on this forum (well, in chat actually, but thats the same).. anyways... i hope you'll feel better soon. feel free to talk to me about anything if you want.

kel

 

[Nyktimos]

I just wanted to bump this thread to ask if anyone has heard from Arnaert. I noticed she hasn't been here for a couple of days.

 

[Tramp]

Yeah, I've been wondering the same. I hope she's alright.

 

[Bluey]

If you look in her profile you well see her account was logged into about 7 hours ago now. So am guessing she is still here with us Hope she is hurting less then she was.

 

[Brian]

I hope she's found at least one thing to make her smile.

And my offer I made in my message to her still stands if she wants to hear a human voice.

 

[Hijacc]

All I have to say is..wow..

You know people come into my life and leave...just like that but...You know we coulda been good friends right? I could've cared for you wherever you are I hope your safe.

I wish you the best of luck.

"wherever you are"

of my time at this site.

I think I am gonna die. I know you people tried to encourage me not killing myself which is great of you(except for you insensitive people talking *******, seriously there is more to life & I don't "fresia"). The encouragement is much appreciated, but to be honest, it couldn't change my mind.
I can't stop feeling pain, every breath I take hurts me to the core.
It won't stop until I end it. It will be relief. I don't have anything I NEED to worry about. My family, friends, ect. My family looks down upon me so much & I dun really have friends, the ones I do can live without me trust me. I can't escape in any other way. I've tried creative ventures, I'm horrible at everything. The only time I feel ok is when I'm asleep so I figure why not the eternal sleep?

People always ignore me anyway, they won't notice.
So bye. Everything is what it is.

=(

dont do it!

please?!

T_T

I wish I had the words...to make things ok for you. I wish I knew your life story more so I could offer specific advice. I wish I could take away your pain.

But my words feel ineffectual...and...that disturbs me a lot.

So i am reduced to this:

Please dont do it. Please? Talk to me in chat. . You helped me and I want to help you.

and this...Im bad with goodbyes..especially if they are for good.