stealing someone elses girl/guy

[hawk9007]

there is this girl at work that i like, she told me she liked me too but the problem is she has a boyfriend, today i told her that i wasnt going to hit on her, flirt, or speak to her the way i did before because she had told me it was confusing her because and i quote "your sweet and say nice things and make me smile, but i have a boyfriend, this is all so confusing" i had to stop it all it was too much she was confused and i didnt want her to be forced to choose which is what would have happened eventually you know. i just dont know, i dont want to stop, i cant explain it, she liked me, someone actually liked me, and i just dont know if the choice i made was right and i believe that i made the right choice by backing off but still i dont know like what about me, i know it seems selfish but what about me, i wanna be loved i dont want to be alone anymore, this is all so hard usually when i get bummed about something i smoke and thats that, this time i couldnt stop crying, eve with a cig in my mouth lol. so whay do you guys think. did i make the right choice or am i a idiot?

 

[Code S.O.L]

You made the right choice. There are some lines one must NEVER cross. Making the moves on a girl who's spoken for is one such line. Even if a girl wants you to steal her, you need to hold your ground, and not give in to temptation.

 

[Badjedidude]

You might look back in ten years and regret letting her go.

I say that if a girl isn't married or engaged, she's fair game. If she really ends up leaving her bf, then there must be something wrong with their relationship anyway, right? A woman in a solid relationship would tell you to fresia off. But this girl liking you shows you that she's already not certain about being with her bf.

FAIR GAME.

You should've gone for it.

 

[hawk9007]

You might look back in ten years and regret letting her go.

I say that if a girl isn't married or engaged, she's fair game. If she really ends up leaving her bf, then there must be something wrong with their relationship anyway, right? A woman in a solid relationship would tell you to fresia off. But this girl liking you shows you that she's already not certain about being with her bf.

FAIR GAME.

You should've gone for it.

thats what i was thinking, ill fix this, some how, thanks guys.

 

[IDunKnow]

No ring on her finger, pretty much fair game in my book, especially if she's already shown interest. Listen, unless this guy is your best friend or something, it comes down to what you want. It's perfectly good to be selfish sometimes, there are some things that count against people who don't go with their gut and take it. Just up and tell her you meant what you said about not wanting to confuse her, it's just that when you got home and thought about it, you wanted to know what would happen if the two of you gave it a try. If she turns you down, least that's a load off your back. It sounds horrible, but you don't need to worry about the other guy. Someone loses out no matter what you do in life, no one sheds a tear over that. She showed interest so you already know a part of her wants it too, that's enough. Sorry for rambling, that's just my own two cents on the subject.

 

[Ladysphinx]

She's not married. If she's willing to break up with this guy BEFORE you guy get to gather then go for it. Don't date her unless she already broke up with him even if it is to be with her. Don't make her become a cheat.

 

[NeeNeeBird]

Agreed with some of the people in this forum.

If she's not married / engaged AND she doesn't tell you to back off (or mentions her stable relationship) then she's fair game.

If she's confused, her relationship obviously isn't going well.

Go for it... but be careful not to cross the line while she's still in a relationship.

 

[Mr. Sir]

Go ahead and steal her. It's a dog-eat-dog-world. Just make sure you have the muscles and the martial arts skills to fight the other dude when he comes to beat the honeysuckle out of you.

Remember, if you weren't stealing other guys' girlfriends, then they'd be stealing them from you.

However, BECAUSE this is a workplace scenario, you might wanna just fresia the whole thing. Women act on instincts, and change their emotions in a heartbeat. Maybe she puts out Monday, and maybe she hates you Tuesday. In the workplace there are SERIOUS sexual harassment laws that you shouldn't break, and if you fresia this honeysuckle up, and the girl who "likes" you today decides she doesn't like you tomorrow, you will get an asskicking from the boyfriend, and also get called a stalker at work by this girl, which could potentially lead to a sexual harassment charge and you losing your job.

Don't honeysuckle where you eat, aka don't try to bone co-workers. Even the roughest, toughest PUAs I know advise against this.

 

[ThatOneDude]

...and then she could possibly do the same o you when the next best thing walks by. I wouldn't waste my time.

 

[ShybutHi]

I have a real problem, i like a woman (and have done for a very long time) who is engaged to a friend of mine who i have known for even longer although i liked this girl before she met my friend they have now been together about 6 years engaged for about 2/3 years, i have never really got to talk to her much but i have seen her multiple times out with friends etc.

I think she is perfect for me in interests and in looks, she kinda even looks like me, in a way its hard to explain, same sort of facial features... ofcourse i cant know for sure but i am pretty sure she likes me. She always seems kind of attracted towards me too like sitting or walking by me and trying to start a conversation. The first time i met her she, literally out of the blue, gave me a big hug i was like who is this gorgeous woman randomly hugging me??? I am really shy though and i didnt try to get to know her or make a move.
Ofcourse the liking is just speculation, she is a really nice person so she could actually just be being friendly but i dunno i think its kinda strange if a load of friends are walking somewhere and someones girlfriend walks with you isntead of their boyfriend lol....

I would NEVER make a move on her though as much as i like her, it just would not be fair to my friend and i value our friendship... dammit its an annoying situation.

 

[Matej]

I don't know hawk, I don't know.. I was in a very similar situation a few years ago. And I made my choice and backed off. Was it right? Not sure, you never know. Situations differ too. She and her boyfriend were together for 2 or 3 years back then, and me and her just met a few months ago, I know as much. And since they were together for so long (at relatively young age - teenagers) I guess they must have got something. Well, they're still together. And me and her, despite being good friends rather abruptly stopped talking, though nobody hated or either disliked each other. Thankfully it's changing for the better now.

My point? Hey I don't know. Follow what your heart and mind are telling you, I guess. Just keep in mind, you might end up regretting it, whatever action you choose: if you back off, you probably won't stop asking yourself "what if"; if you pursue you might end up feeling bad about it(?) I don't know.

Oh and, it depends how serious they are. I mean if you see they'll marry each other, even though nobody's talking about it yet, then by all means, back off. If, however, they're not doing too well, seeing they're not the right for each other, then perhaps...

 

[Mr. Sir]

Remember that the top 20% steal everyone's girls all the time. They're like mob bosses who get a piece of everything when they feel like it. Even if you were married, she'd still cheat on you occasionally with a top 20% Alpha Bodybuilder.

 

[Badjedidude]

Even if you were married, she'd still cheat on you occasionally with a top 20% Alpha Bodybuilder.

Oh boy, here we go..

 

[Callie]

About 6 months after I started dating the guy who eventually became my husband, I broke up with him because I had "feelings" for another guy. I didn't think it was fair to myself or to my future husband to go through life wondering "what would have happened." Things went NOWHERE with this other guy, but I found out and I had no regrets when I said "I do"
Not that it did me much good in the end...but that's another story.

I say go for it, but don't push her...

Remember that the top 20% steal everyone's girls all the time. They're like mob bosses who get a piece of everything when they feel like it. Even if you were married, she'd still cheat on you occasionally with a top 20% Alpha Bodybuilder.

WTF...shut up

 

[IDunKnow]

they have now been together about 6 years engaged for about 2/3 years, i have never really got to talk to her much but i have seen her multiple times out with friends etc.

I'm Letting you know beforehand, I'm confused by your whole post in regards to her liking you with some of the things you've said. Also, 6 years is a looooooooong time, she's either settled for him or she wants to be with him.

i cant know for sure but i am pretty sure she likes me.

How are you pretty sure if you never get to talk to her much?

She always seems kind of attracted towards me too like sitting or walking by me and trying to start a conversation. The first time i met her she, literally out of the blue, gave me a big hug i was like who is this gorgeous woman randomly hugging me??? I am really shy though and i didnt try to get to know her or make a move.

I would have told you to consider going for it... but the big problem doesn't even have to do with your friend, it's that you said you don't talk to her much. How could anyone take a big chance ( with the possibility of losing a friend no less ) when I don't think you even really know if you can exist with this gal one on one, just the two of you, no friends in the background, you get the idea.... It would be different if you told me about how amazing you feel when you're out and alone with her and how she might feel the same and blah blah blah, you get the idea. As far as friends go, it's a sad thing but you only live once. You can be noble or pretend to be noble all you like but those who do that are often the ones lookin back and wondering if they could have ended up married or been in a very meaningful relationship had they taken that chance with someone who shared the same feelings. I eat meat, something loses its life because of that. You get a new job, someone is out of a job because of you, there is no way around it. You just need to know what you're willing to live with is all. Anyway.. I wouldn't do a thing unless you talked to her more, otherwise it's just a case of you thinking something is there when it's not. You said it yourself, you don't talk to her much and you just see her out with friends.

 

[davyjones]

the girl sounds like a hobag to me

---

Go ahead and steal her. It's a dog-eat-dog-world. Just make sure you have the muscles and the martial arts skills to fight the other dude when he comes to beat the honeysuckle out of you.

Remember, if you weren't stealing other guys' girlfriends, then they'd be stealing them from you.

However, BECAUSE this is a workplace scenario, you might wanna just fresia the whole thing. Women act on instincts, and change their emotions in a heartbeat. Maybe she puts out Monday, and maybe she hates you Tuesday. In the workplace there are SERIOUS sexual harassment laws that you shouldn't break, and if you fresia this honeysuckle up, and the girl who "likes" you today decides she doesn't like you tomorrow, you will get an asskicking from the boyfriend, and also get called a stalker at work by this girl, which could potentially lead to a sexual harassment charge and you losing your job.

Don't honeysuckle where you eat, aka don't try to bone co-workers. Even the roughest, toughest PUAs I know advise against this.

so true

 

[iris]

I'm laughing my ass off every time I read a Socrates' post.

For the OP, it's not advisable to date a coworker, you never know what might happen at the workplace. As for the girl, after a relationship of 6 years, they're either very serious either very bored with each other. Either way, if you don't give it a try, you will probably regret it later. Who knows, you might have the time of your life with this girl! Maybe...

 

[AncientBard]

Two things come to mind hawk9007;

1. Men always want the one who not available, it's a challenge.
2. instant Karma's a *****, what comes around goes around. If you're prepared to steal another mans woman be prepared for it to happen to you 3 times. Instant Karma's gonna getcha

 

[shells]

Two things come to mind hawk9007;

1. Men always want the one who not available, it's a challenge.
2. instant Karma's a *****, what comes around goes around. If you're prepared to steal another mans woman be prepared for it to happen to you 3 times. Instant Karma's gonna getcha

I agree.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Two things come to mind hawk9007;

1. Men always want the one who not available, it's a challenge.
2. instant Karma's a *****, what comes around goes around. If you're prepared to steal another mans woman be prepared for it to happen to you 3 times. Instant Karma's gonna getcha

I agree.

Yep Yep. I was just going to say "if she was going to do it to this guy, what makes you think she won't do it to you?" Pay attention to how people treat others, because, guess what, it's a pretty damned good indicator of how they'll treat you.

---

Women act on instincts, and change their emotions in a heartbeat.

Socrates, from what you've said here, it's clear that you feel frightened of women.

We aren't unpredictable though, we're human beings with feelings and logical thought processes (unless there is something wrong with our heads, then, in that case we are woo woo *makes sign for crazy*). o.o

Psychobitches do exist I agree, but I'd really like to think that most women would not put another human being through the agony of court proceedings for false rape or stalking charges.