Hey all,
As I'm sure you noticed, I'm a bit new here. So, I figured I'd introduce myself witha new thread. This forum seem's real nice, looks like a lot of real cool, considerate people on here. I think I'll like it a bit on here
Anyhow, my name's MIke, I'm 17, tall, skinny, decently attractive, long-distance runner, senior, DJ/ Producer (3 years), and just a pretty average kid (some ways more than others). I live ina very small, Virginian town, too. I'm an INFJ, also. So I suppose that explains a lot about who I am, too.
The reason I came to this site, is because, quite honestly, I am very lonely and want to change. Here's my story and my problem:
Ever since my freshman year, I've been badly depressed and have been battling depression ever since. However, this year I finally started taking antidepressants and counseling, and all those things seem to be sorted out, thank god. The main reasons for my depression at all, were the fact that I grew up with an alcoholic, narcisstic, manipulative father who made us lose our things/ homes MANY, MANY times and much, much more...And a mother with anxiety issues, severe pessimism, and just blatant over-sensitivity and insecurity. It wasn't until I matured and realized that it was my CHOICE to be different from whom my parents are. So, ever since, though my parents take it as me rebelling or throwing attitude, I've begun forming my own ideals, opinions, and life. However, I can't lie, though I strive to be better than them, I still inherited and developed many problems because of my upbringing. Such as my tendency to over-think everything, my insecurity, and unconfidence...
Now...Socially-speaking, my friends and acquaintances know me as the sensitive, yet deeply caring type of person. I'm a great listener, supposedly. And apparently I'm "psychic" and can tell generally what people are thinking or why they do certain things. People come to me for advice a lot. I'm also known as the guy who never "hits and quits" it, I'm just too nice. I'm very aware to people's emotions, and I get to know people on a very emotional, personal basis because of it. I didn't realize it til' this year, but it actually intimidates a lot of people how personal and in-touch I get with people???? I'm pretty funny, too. But I do say some pretty irrelevant things from time to time. I used to get bummed when people would be like "wtf?" but Ive learned to blow it off and have a laugh about it. I don't want to sound conceited at all, but I feel like I'm a great guy. It makes me wonder why certain things never seem to work out for me....Maybe I just fall in the "friend zone"? or i just get too personal with girls? Idk....And with friends? Maybe I'm just too nice. Maybe I'm too sensitive. Maybe I'm not "guyish" enough. Idk...
I am pretty self-conscious. It seems like the only time I ever hook-up/ make out/ meet girls anymore, is when I go to Virginia Tech to party with my friends/ sister at the TKE house there or at house parties my sister or friends throw. Or if I go to bigger cities where I don't know people and just talk to someone. It makes me feel as though the only time I meet women is when either I or they are drunk/ high. Or if I'm out of my hometown. It's a very shitty feeling knowing...I'm grateful for the women I have met and all, don't get me wrong...But I can never seem to get in a relationship. Ever...
I've been messed over by girls, many, many, many times...And used, abused, ignored...Etc...It makes me wonder how maybe the things girls say they want and what they actually want might be very different...
In conclusion, I'm tired of with my friends, being usually the only one or of the few that doesn't get invited/ told about events and gets left out. Or I get treated like a sensitive ***** from time to time.
And with girls, I'm tired of how I'm a good guy, but that's it. NOONE seems to see me as a potential mate or boyfriend. I'm tired of getting led on. I'm tired of throwing myself out there, and having all my efforts put to nothing...I'm tired of lies....I envy my friends with steady gf's so much.....
I'm simply tired of feeling this way
...Advice?
As I'm sure you noticed, I'm a bit new here. So, I figured I'd introduce myself witha new thread. This forum seem's real nice, looks like a lot of real cool, considerate people on here. I think I'll like it a bit on here
Anyhow, my name's MIke, I'm 17, tall, skinny, decently attractive, long-distance runner, senior, DJ/ Producer (3 years), and just a pretty average kid (some ways more than others). I live ina very small, Virginian town, too. I'm an INFJ, also. So I suppose that explains a lot about who I am, too.
The reason I came to this site, is because, quite honestly, I am very lonely and want to change. Here's my story and my problem:
Ever since my freshman year, I've been badly depressed and have been battling depression ever since. However, this year I finally started taking antidepressants and counseling, and all those things seem to be sorted out, thank god. The main reasons for my depression at all, were the fact that I grew up with an alcoholic, narcisstic, manipulative father who made us lose our things/ homes MANY, MANY times and much, much more...And a mother with anxiety issues, severe pessimism, and just blatant over-sensitivity and insecurity. It wasn't until I matured and realized that it was my CHOICE to be different from whom my parents are. So, ever since, though my parents take it as me rebelling or throwing attitude, I've begun forming my own ideals, opinions, and life. However, I can't lie, though I strive to be better than them, I still inherited and developed many problems because of my upbringing. Such as my tendency to over-think everything, my insecurity, and unconfidence...
Now...Socially-speaking, my friends and acquaintances know me as the sensitive, yet deeply caring type of person. I'm a great listener, supposedly. And apparently I'm "psychic" and can tell generally what people are thinking or why they do certain things. People come to me for advice a lot. I'm also known as the guy who never "hits and quits" it, I'm just too nice. I'm very aware to people's emotions, and I get to know people on a very emotional, personal basis because of it. I didn't realize it til' this year, but it actually intimidates a lot of people how personal and in-touch I get with people???? I'm pretty funny, too. But I do say some pretty irrelevant things from time to time. I used to get bummed when people would be like "wtf?" but Ive learned to blow it off and have a laugh about it. I don't want to sound conceited at all, but I feel like I'm a great guy. It makes me wonder why certain things never seem to work out for me....Maybe I just fall in the "friend zone"? or i just get too personal with girls? Idk....And with friends? Maybe I'm just too nice. Maybe I'm too sensitive. Maybe I'm not "guyish" enough. Idk...
I am pretty self-conscious. It seems like the only time I ever hook-up/ make out/ meet girls anymore, is when I go to Virginia Tech to party with my friends/ sister at the TKE house there or at house parties my sister or friends throw. Or if I go to bigger cities where I don't know people and just talk to someone. It makes me feel as though the only time I meet women is when either I or they are drunk/ high. Or if I'm out of my hometown. It's a very shitty feeling knowing...I'm grateful for the women I have met and all, don't get me wrong...But I can never seem to get in a relationship. Ever...
I've been messed over by girls, many, many, many times...And used, abused, ignored...Etc...It makes me wonder how maybe the things girls say they want and what they actually want might be very different...
In conclusion, I'm tired of with my friends, being usually the only one or of the few that doesn't get invited/ told about events and gets left out. Or I get treated like a sensitive ***** from time to time.
And with girls, I'm tired of how I'm a good guy, but that's it. NOONE seems to see me as a potential mate or boyfriend. I'm tired of getting led on. I'm tired of throwing myself out there, and having all my efforts put to nothing...I'm tired of lies....I envy my friends with steady gf's so much.....
I'm simply tired of feeling this way
...Advice?
