grainofrice24
Well-known member
I used to think I was on the shy side when it comes to dating because I had low self esteem. And while that was part of it, I've made some changes and I don't think I'm so much "shy" as I am...out of my element.
See, it just keeps occurring to me that my instincts when talking to women are wrong. I say or do the wrong thing. When I'm trying to go with the flow...in hindsight I sort of realize...i'm not that comfortable "in the flow" and I make stupid mistakes (story of my life).
For me, being good at something always comes with practice. Be it work, or sports or music or cooking or whatever. I'm comfortable talking to women just shootin' the honeysuckle, but guys are supposed to talk to women DIFFERENTLY if they're interested romantically right??
So I figure I need to practice "hitting" on women. The thing that's shitty about it is, getting shut down sucks. We all know that. But I figure I just need to go out and not care about getting shut down...and like a boxer toughening up his knuckles, or a musician developing a callous, you just need to do it and eventually you'll stop feeling the pain. But then that seems like a pretty "blunt force, unsophisticated" solution...like trying to chop a tree down with a dull axe instead of sharpening it first and then cutting it down in a snap. And what am I supposed to be? That guy in a club or something who hits on every girl and gets shut down?! And being totally devoid of emotion? I don't know...advice?
What bugs me though is people who seem to have a natural knack for saying the right thing @ the right time. :club:
Sorry about the (slightly drunken) rant
See, it just keeps occurring to me that my instincts when talking to women are wrong. I say or do the wrong thing. When I'm trying to go with the flow...in hindsight I sort of realize...i'm not that comfortable "in the flow" and I make stupid mistakes (story of my life).
For me, being good at something always comes with practice. Be it work, or sports or music or cooking or whatever. I'm comfortable talking to women just shootin' the honeysuckle, but guys are supposed to talk to women DIFFERENTLY if they're interested romantically right??
So I figure I need to practice "hitting" on women. The thing that's shitty about it is, getting shut down sucks. We all know that. But I figure I just need to go out and not care about getting shut down...and like a boxer toughening up his knuckles, or a musician developing a callous, you just need to do it and eventually you'll stop feeling the pain. But then that seems like a pretty "blunt force, unsophisticated" solution...like trying to chop a tree down with a dull axe instead of sharpening it first and then cutting it down in a snap. And what am I supposed to be? That guy in a club or something who hits on every girl and gets shut down?! And being totally devoid of emotion? I don't know...advice?
What bugs me though is people who seem to have a natural knack for saying the right thing @ the right time. :club:
Sorry about the (slightly drunken) rant