the difference between being alone and being lonely

[GretchenR]

Would you rather be surrounded by people but feel alone on the inside, or physically be alone with an occasional person to confide in?

Im constantly with people, always have plans, always have something to do - it wears me out a lot of the time. When I'm busy I forget how I really feel. I try to keep busy so I'm not physically alone, because thats when I realize how alone I really am.
Can anyone relate?

I'm sure a lot of people have written similar posts. I should probably read more of other peoples posts before I make my own.

 

[Colette]

When I'm busy I forget how I really feel. I try to keep busy so I'm not physically alone, because thats when I realize how alone I really am.
Can anyone relate?

I can relate to how you feel. I don't mind being alone and prefer some quiet time, but that is by choice. What scares me is when there are blank spots on my calendar and I am forced to be alone.

 

[Wilzers]

[No message]

 

[Tazz]

i can kind of relate to that, it seems like i know get along at school with everyone really well, but at the end of the day im off by myself, but that is probably because i live on the other side of town

 

[lonelybeauty]

[Gretchen Wrote]
Im constantly with people, always have plans, always have something to do - it wears me out a lot of the time. When I'm busy I forget how I really feel. I try to keep busy so I'm not physically alone, because thats when I realize how alone I really am.

I never believed in lonliness until I had to face reality. I grow up in Rio de Janeiro (Brazil) and always had so much happening all around me...
Friends and a big family...One day I moved to the USA and discover that you can be so incredible lonely even when you have the world making you beleive that you have everything...

Since that I discover loneliness I try to keep myself so busy that I won't really feel how lonely I'm. I have no words to say how many times I cry and screem under a hot shower and I can feel my sweet tears being blend with the clear water.

Lonely Beauty:shy:

 

[Colette]

I never believed in lonliness until I had to face reality. I grow up in Rio de Janeiro (Brazil) and always had so much happening all around me...
Friends and a big family...One day I moved to the USA and discover that you can be so incredible lonely even when you have the world making you beleive that you have everything...

My parents and sister emigrated from Italy to the U.S. before I was born. My sister said it was a shock for her because she was always surrounded by people, both family and everyone in the small town she was born in. When my family came to America the only person who had a great and large support system was my father. I think that's the reason they did not go back to Italy. His "group" came to the U.S. so staying wasn't a problem for him.

I know that if my family had returned to Italy ours lives would have been very different. My grandparents asked my mother and father to return but my mother didn't want to (my mom has control issues
and as a result my sister and grew up without immediate family. It was and is tough. I am fortunate for the friends I have but I constantly long for my aunts, uncles, cousins and miss the closeness of seeing my grandparents.

 

[sweetpatience]

I think that we feel lonely in a croud is because even though we are near say 50 people there still is not a connection ,like i don,t feel like they care at all if i was there or not...they are all wraped up in their friends and family....seems like they are all so happy and it makes me kinda jealous cause I wish it was me that had friends and a big family that gets together.........bla bla

 

[adelia]

I think that we feel lonely in a croud is because even though we are near say 50 people there still is not a connection ,like i don,t feel like they care at all if i was there or not...they are all wraped up in their friends and family....seems like they are all so happy and it makes me kinda jealous cause I wish it was me that had friends and a big family that gets together.........bla bla

I have always felt the exact same way. That's part of the reason I don't like going to parties, or hanging out with crowds larger than 3 people. I don't like to engage in shouting contests in order to be heard. I like a conversation to be engaging where everyone gets the opportunity to talk without feeling like you have to compete for attention or share your thoughts.

 

[sweetpatience]

sometimes when i am at work I over hear people talking about their lives,..like o later I,m going to a bar-b-q...or a party..or I'm going over to my brothers b-day party..etc.yadda yadda...I get a little jealous cause I don't have people in my life like that......over x-mas holidays people are visiting having all kinds of parties...and I feel left out........I have a little family and a Precious daughter sometimes I think she's my only reason for living.....I probably would have killed myself by now......except also I'm a big scardey cat.....

 

[Gunblaza]

I dont like people that show off their lives.

 

[joeynicdao]

I've been known to have grown up as quite the loner (which didn't really bother me when I was younger) but each time I understand more clearly that it's not enough to have someone be there physically but to have someone dependable that you can open up to.

 

[lonelygirl]

I don't have any friends but I do know what you mean. You could be surrounded by "friends" and still feel lonely. I think they are not your real friends, though. If they were you could tell them how you feel and they would care and not judge you.

My family is really messed up. We had physical and emotional abuse from our dad really bad so my sisters and brothers are ********, self-absorbed, they always want to hang out and socialize with their friends rather than family. Which is a bummer since I don't have any friends, I WANT to hang out with them! I hate people who are always going to parties and barbeques etc. ******* ********! lol Okay maybe I am jealous, just a tad!

 

[Empathy]

I grow up in Rio de Janeiro (Brazil) and always had so much happening all around me...
Friends and a big family...One day I moved to the USA and discover that you can be so incredible lonely even when you have the world making you beleive that you have everything...

This seems like a really insightful thing to me. Perhaps not all lonliness is caused by being alone, perhaps it is also because we are not keeping ourselves busy enough. I know that when I have something to do, I'm not worried about being lonely, it's only when there's nothing going on.

Perhaps that's one approach to solving lonliness...

 

[angeLLblueshadow]

I don't know... i'm NEVER alone, physically, i'm always sorounded by people, but inside i feel SO lonely i just wanna cry...and now i find myself wanting to be alone physically, just to be alone and think, you know, what's the point in being around people if you don't feel them, now i just want to be alone with my loneliness...maybe it's not the right way to think but this is how i feel...

a kiss and a big smile!

 

[iny_75]

this feelings may because i done every thing ( mean fun things and work things ) i got the chance to do with all that i feel empty u know why because i lost my centre point if the earth rounding in random direction it will falls and every thing will be destroyed ,, theres a part in our hearts we negilected ignored thats we r salves to god we must be good and willing god , he is the greatest power in the world and any power else god gifted to the people who own it and he can get it back and forbide them to own any thing

am sorry if my words r confused and poor

 

[No One]

A fair amount of time I get chance to spend with people. Out of the past 5 evenings, I've had two fo them otu with people. But the nights I'm alone I feel dreadful. I guess I just need meaningful contact.

 

[jales]

my grandmother always says 'i'm alone but not lonely'. N if you ask her why she'd say because she has memories to keep her company lol

 

[Lost in the Oilfield]

my grandmother always says 'i'm alone but not lonely'. N if you ask her why she'd say because she has memories to keep her company lol

Your grandmother has a wonderful outlook.

 

[Colette]

my grandmother always says 'i'm alone but not lonely'. N if you ask her why she'd say because she has memories to keep her company lol

Your grandmother has a wonderful outlook.

She has a point. Loneliness is a feeling.

 

[JustLost]

Would you rather be surrounded by people but feel alone on the inside, or physically be alone with an occasional person to confide in?

Im constantly with people, always have plans, always have something to do - it wears me out a lot of the time. When I'm busy I forget how I really feel. I try to keep busy so I'm not physically alone, because thats when I realize how alone I really am.
Can anyone relate?

I have a few friends and acquaintances. My problem stems from the fact that I lack a close emotional bond with someone. (such as with a significant other). I could be surrounded by a hundred friends and in the back of my mind I would still feel lonely.

One can also argue that everyone is "alone" in a sense. No one else but you will ever know the true nature of your mind. We can all sit here and type every feeling that we have, but we will never truly know what's it's like to be in someone else's head.

I suppose it's the price we pay for consciousness and individuality.