The enemy within.

[wolfshadow]

Since coming to this site I've started to appreciate that some of the things I've felt were missing are probably non-existent.
A good example is this - I've always had this odd suppostion that the majority of people within society are interlinked by a collective wavelength, or an invisible social chemistry, that I am unable to tap into. My experiences here have changed that perception. What I mistook for intigration and acceptence, might conceivably be defined as respect, attention and even adulation. The latter three are things that need to be earnt, if that is what a person desires, and I was crazy to imagine that their absence was indicative of universal rejection! That, sadly is exactly the sort of idea that can manifest itself when insecurity is not challenged by reality.
A cold truth emerges, it is the reponsibilty of the individual to manage their self esteem. It's not nice and it's not always fair but that's just the way it is. I can't believe that I didn't see it before now.

A big thankyou to everyone at aloneylife for this because collectively, you have helped me expose and start to deal with a facet of immaturity that has long been to my detriment.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Simple, not always easy, but do able.
Thanks for reminding of this truth, again. I easily get side tracked or have short term memories
when pretaining to this matter. Back to the basics of doing it 5 mins at a time.

 

[DayvanCowboy]

Great post and good luck to you for realizing this. Like LonesomeCrow, I tend to forget about what you have mentioned when I deal with people. They understand that things may be a little rough for me, but I have to try my best to show a little reaction so they do not feel like they are talking to a wall. After a while I can express my thoughts and feelings a little more while asking them their opinions and insights and everything and everyone becomes involved. No one really feels left behind and both sides get to participate and gain some trust with each other.

The negative side to it though is that once in a while you may come across people who will make you work harder for their attention than you really should. You can be used, lied to, and have your thoughts and feelings twisted up to the point where they make you feel like you should be alone because you have a horrible personality or attitude toward them. Then they will leave you like that.

 

[wolfshadow]

Great post and good luck to you for realizing this. Like LonesomeCrow, I tend to forget about what you have mentioned when I deal with people. They understand that things may be a little rough for me, but I have to try my best to show a little reaction so they do not feel like they are talking to a wall. After a while I can express my thoughts and feelings a little more while asking them their opinions and insights and everything and everyone becomes involved. No one really feels left behind and both sides get to participate and gain some trust with each other.

The negative side to it though is that once in a while you may come across people who will make you work harder for their attention than you really should. You can be used, lied to, and have your thoughts and feelings twisted up to the point where they make you feel like you should be alone because you have a horrible personality or attitude toward them. Then they will leave you like that.

Thanks for the prop Dayvan - it only took me 31 years to figure this out.

I hear what you're saying in regard to the drawbacks but I think it's just a hazard of living. There are will always people out there who are drawn to the scent of weakness be it emotional, physical or financial.
Few go through there lives without being manipulated at some point and I think the only thing you (when I say you, I mean one in general) really can do to prepare, is arm yourself with enough introspective knowledge to understand when you are at fault and when you are not.

Either that or hide in a cave.

 

[EveWasFramed]

To be able to fathom human nature at the level you seem to have achieved is truly amazing. I hope things work out for you.

 

[LostBoy]

You got the right idea. Certain things no one or no thing(car, job, money) can give us. SELF-esteem, SELF-respect, SELF-worth, and freedom. Freedom is never given, only earned or fought for. I went from being my own worst enemy to the president of my fan club. Not in an egocentric way but to the point where I recently met a glamorous female movie star and carried myself like an equal though a fan. It was a personal goal of mine that I acheived. I found generally that people take YOU as seriously as YOU do. Every one I meet I offer a hand of friendship to. In that I also don't base my good feelings about myself on their liking me. It was once said that "freedom discovers man the minute he is no longer concerned with what impression he makes." Buddhists say "Simply be."

 

[bobgarden]

l believe that all humans are naturally helpful and do not wish to delve into deceptive attitudes.
The problem lies with the teaching of deception is a way of life for others to manipulate the minds of their victims through selfish gains only,taught through the generations onto their offspring to gain materials.
A theif is not born,but was taught and influence by who is around them and what images portraits to create such behaviour.

 

[wolfshadow]

l believe that all humans are naturally helpful and do not wish to delve into deceptive attitudes.
The problem lies with the teaching of deception is a way of life for others to manipulate the minds of their victims through selfish gains only,taught through the generations onto their offspring to gain materials.
A theif is not born,but was taught and influence by who is around them and what images portraits to create such behaviour.

I think you're missing the point.

It's about trying to determine how loneliness can screw up ones perception of how they are being interpreted by others and also how sometimes, this can usher in a false notion of rejection. In this context, if deception is an issue, it is exclusively with oneself.

As for your comment, I don't doubt that it has merit somewhere, but respectfully, not in this thread.