The ignoring game

[neejau]

Not sure why I'm posting this but I just want it off my chest I guess.

The girl I've been with for the past 6 months has, for the last two/three weeks, been constantly ignoring me and basically threating me like trash. I still have no reason whatsoever why she is doing that. Well it's kinda impossible to get the answer, because she is keep ignoring me. Sure she sometimes talks when I ask her something on msn or something, but then it goes like "Hey how you doing?" "good." the end! She has done this before but then it was only for 2/3 days because of family problems, but she would at-least tell me it was because of this.

Some days ago I gave up on the whole case, kinda thinking she just wanted to get rid of me but didn't feel like finding an excuse, or whatever... The easy way out. I have a feeling I will never ever know the "real" reason. I asked here where the "old her" went, she said the old her would never come back.

This is pretty much one of the most harsh things someone ever did to me in my whole life and I really lost all my respect for this once beautiful person. I honestly did a lot of things for her, always was there for her. Even tho in those 6 months she left me once for some random idiot. And yet... I always kept caring for her. But then again... She was a good person. And then she does something like this, my mind was seriously one big mess the whole time, just thinking what I ever did wrong. It was kinda like whenever I was talking to my friends, I wasn't thinking about the conversation but I was just thinking about her. I really was a wreck.

I'm kinda past that point now and trying to "forget" her. Which is easier said then done. But I'm doing an okay job I think.

Just the thoughts that I will never see or talk to her again kinda makes me feel... Unhappy (?) or something along the lines of that.
Well thanks for reading!

 

[jjam]

You should consider that there's more than meets the eye going on here. Perhaps she's not herself. Perhaps she's in the mist of a deep depression. Perhaps there is something about yourself you're not seeing.
Think long and hard about it.

 

[neejau]

Meh yea thats what I wanted to believe at first, her good friend also told me that. But it was just too good to be true I guess.
I really thought about all the possibilities about what could be wrong with her, and in the end I was right... It was just her not wanting me anymore.

Had a little chat with the lady this evening and she told me she "just didn't saw it working out". I said I was already expecting something like that and think it's just a shame she handled it this way. She agreed it was wrong of her to do but still... I don't think we will ever talk the same as we used to. After all she already did something like this to me when she left me for some other guy.
It was hard enough to stay friends back then, just because every-time I thought about what she did I felt kinda angry. And still I kept supporting her and helped her with her "boyfriend". I seriously had sleepless nights just because she had troubles at home and I was worrying about her... Guess this is what I get in return.

 

[trZ]

You're too good for her. Don't let her dumping you make you believe anything else. You where too patient, and she obviously doesn't deserve you the way she's acting now.

Anyways, if she didn't see it working out, it never would work out anyways. Relax, take your time then get back on the horse

 

[ComfortZone]

Yeah, I kind of agree with trZ. Sounds to me like (based on what you have shared) that you are into an open, honest form of communication......you know - which is very healthy, by the way.

Doesn't sound to me that she is on the same page with that.

I wouldn't take this personally, if I were you.

Mature couples in a relationship stop to examine and openly communicate where the barriers are and try to rectify it. It sounds to me like you were ready to explore that avenue....she on the other hand doesn't seem to be so receptive to that....for WHATEVER reasons!

I'd just chalk this one up to expereince if I were you and move on.

Eventually you will find a mate who is on equal maturity terms.

 

[neejau]

Well thanks a lot guys, guess you're right ! She kinda apologized greatly for what she did and she's now trying to "make it up" for whatever reason. Why the apology is still unknown to me really. Not sure what I'll do next... I'm still pretty mad at the whole case and it's kinda hard to act nicely to her. I thought to myself today; IF I act "nicely" to her it will only be a matter of time before I really like her again and before I know it, she takes off with some other guy and I'm left in the same mess I was 2 weeks ago... On the other hand... If I now act the same way she did, wouldn't that make me the same ******* ? Confusing really.

 

[jbates]

Well, when it comes to past romances there are a different and completely malleable set of rules. Her coming back could be insecurity regarding losing you in the first place, or she has moved past the guy she originally left you for and needs a filler again. There could be all kinds of answers to her behaviour (genuinely feels bad, discovers new feelings for you etc.). My opinion would be it's her insecurity.

My suggestion to you would be to get that concrete answer you were looking for, and tell her you are ok with being acquaintences. I've never found the friends thing works after the fact, and you have every right to not talk to her at all without being considered an *******. That phase of your life is over, and it may actually be unhealthy to keep lose ends hanging around like that.