We cannot forget that no matter how our society changes, women still need to be able to thrive as wives and as mothers. We are collectively becoming wiser to what it takes for any person to thrive during their life, and specifically for women too. Every individual needs to be seen and heard according to their true essence; they also all need to experience fruition of their labor, and confirmation of their faith. It seems obvious today that women cannot thrive as wives and as mothers if they are prevented from satisfying all their needs. But we are still a long way from collectively understanding what all the needs are and how women can be truly empowered individuals in society without 'taking any of the power away' from men (so to speak).
As a child of the post-feminist eighties, I grew up with the superficial image of the empowered woman as you described in the first case. The strong, free woman materialized as an image with perfect makeup and hair that remained fixed all day, with big shoulder pads, bold lines and silhouettes; she was strong and self assured because she looked like she could scare all the men with her sharp nails and stilettos. She is a successful working woman AND her home is under perfect control. She can do it all. Watch out.
Then after that fad, it's as though there was a backlash, as if people were not wise enough yet to popularize the true ideal of the free, powerful woman. What became fashionable seemed to rebel against the woman who did it all without her partner, and seemed to reflect that women should not give up their femininity and intimacy to be empowered. Thus dawned the age of popularization of extreme female sexuality, now that it's no longer a secret that women are as sex-crazed as men. Instead of men being afraid of her, now the new fantasy is of Woman surrounded by men who want to make love to her, for her looks as well as her brain.
In spite of this apparent backlash, post feminism, I can see how our society is clearly evolving. Look at immensely popular Sex and the City, that try to portray real women that are trying to have it all nowadays - satisfaction in their career, achieving social status without the help of a man, but free to feel as feminine and sexy as they desire. Though it isn't perfect, I think this portrayal of the image of woman is bringing the popular ideal much closer to what is truly empowering, and it has been embraced by women and men alike. One of the four actresses, Kim Cattrall, has a book and is currently on a little tour, going to various institutes in North America, to discuss empowering women and sex.
I also have to mention Oprah, our unfailing sign of hope, whose talk show could not have started if not for the all-powerful-woman trend of the 80s. Now she holds an international reign in the names of compassion and spirituality. Even though she is not the best example of intimacy and raising a family, thanks to Oprah's indestructible reign that stands regardless of what goes into and out of fashion, we have proof that our civilization cannot go backward from here. Heck, even if the world is destroyed one day, a future civilization could uncover our artifacts and would piece together the story of Oprah one way or another, and realize that a black woman was able to overcome all adversity to be the richest and most famous celebrity in the world - thus proving for all eternity that there is no such thing as a weaker sex.
Empowered women are here to stay, and we are only becoming wiser to all the ways that fact manifests itself in the lives of all people. There is only going to be more and more men and women who will be able to discover and exist in true freedom, no longer needing traditional gender roles to find for them self the very security and fulfillment that everyone desires. And in spite of its bad rep, even pop girls are realizing it pays to portray a more complete image of a woman: I think Christina, the Pussy Cat Dolls & Girlicious are trying to show that women can be sexy and liberated, and that doesn't mean giving up the quest to have a secure, fulfilling life, which includes a successful career and overcoming all the challenges of maintaining a relationship and raising a family w the right man.
