The Introvert/Extrovert Quandary

[exasperated]

I'm finding that I may have an odd mix of introverted and extroverted qualities that make it difficult to find similar friends. I'm curious as to what introverted and extroverted qualities people on here identify with. My initial impression has been that the majority of members here identify more with being an introvert, but I would think we all have some overlap, so I hope this might be interesting for others as well.

Here are some of the qualities I identify with, loosely categorized as extroverted and introverted.

More extroverted qualities:

I hate being alone
I draw energy from others
I like to be in constant communication with others (preferably people I like, who get me)
I get restless easily and like to go out and experience the newest places and try new things
I dislike gaming, scifi and many other esoteric interests that introverts I know are really, really into
I tend to be a leader or coordinator in social situations

More Introverted qualities:

I cannot stand small talk, superficiality, vacuous people and do not suffer fools gladly
I generally prefer to work alone, for the most part I think collaboration kills inspiration
It can sometimes take me a while to warm up to people/situations
I like to start out getting to know people on a serious level before I am silly with them
I'm generally pretty self conscious stemming from childhood bullying issues
I sometimes have trouble exuding confidence.

I'd be interested for others to share their "lists."

 

[johnny196775Again]

I have no extroverted qualities.

 

[Tiina63]

I think most people are a mixture. It is rare to be completely introverted or extroverted.
My lists would include:
Extroverted qualities:
1. I find living alone to be very, very lonely.
2. I like to go out and be with people and sometimes I go out just to get out of the four walls so I don't go crackers (though find it nerve wracking to go somewhere new where I don't know a soul).
3. Sometimes I do get energy from being with people, depending on the nature of the interaction.
Introverted qualities:
1. I find house guests a strain because of getting no time to be alone and because of the constant pressure to entertain and to make endless conversation.
2. I need some time to myself to recharge every day otherwise I feel cranky like an old bear.
3. Dating is a nightmare because of not knowing what to talk about.
4. I like being with the sort of people who don't put pressure on me to talk.

 

[Batman55]

I have none of the extroverted qualities on your list. The only qualities I have that might come close to that end of the spectrum is probably the bare minimum: I'm not asocial, and therefore do have a need to keep in touch and exchange thoughts/feelings with others, that said, it is an extremely small list both on and offline.

About the introverted qualities, I have all of them, but what do you mean by a "vacuous" person? I personally would not limit correspondence with someone based on their intellect/wits, not sure if that's what you mean, though.

 

[Solivagant]

I have none of the extroverted qualities on your list.

Me neither, and I can't think of any others I might have. I'm pretty much all introvert.

 

[constant stranger]

I see extroversion and introversion as a continuum, with extremes of the two dispositions at either end and a person's individual propensity placing somewhere in between. Me? I think I'm closer to the introverted end of the range for the most part, with a few extroverted behaviors now and then.

Examples: In group activities I prefer to influence the leader rather than be the leader. In the struggle for consensus I'll observe the available options, pick the most workable compromise and support that.......in contrast to pushing my own personal agenda at all costs.

I have no fear of solitude or of being seen in public, alone.
I'm far more comfortable with seriousness than with joking around.
I'm very self conscious (..and self critical..) in all social situations.
I'll quietly observe a group's tone from the sidelines before voicing an opinion....OK I admit it, I'm keeping myself safe with that one, avoiding risks.

I'd say those points are closer to the introverted focus.

However, when I see a group's direction pointlessly wandering or descending into polarized bickering, my frustration level can and has, risen to the point where I will assert, with pointed finger and raised voice etc, the blatant logic and obvious solution to whatever issue is at hand.

Self observation discloses no pleasure at this......I can FEEL the unpleasant endocrine juices in my system afterwards. The real, extrovert type leader LIKES the adrenaline rush.....I don't.

 

[exasperated]

I think it's a continuum as well. I wonder if they do all feel that rush or are just compelled to speak.

I see extroversion and introversion as a continuum, with extremes of the two dispositions at either end and a person's individual propensity placing somewhere in between. Me? I think I'm closer to the introverted end of the range for the most part, with a few extroverted behaviors now and then.

Examples: In group activities I prefer to influence the leader rather than be the leader. In the struggle for consensus I'll observe the available options, pick the most workable compromise and support that.......in contrast to pushing my own personal agenda at all costs.

I have no fear of solitude or of being seen in public, alone.
I'm far more comfortable with seriousness than with joking around.
I'm very self conscious (..and self critical..) in all social situations.
I'll quietly observe a group's tone from the sidelines before voicing an opinion....OK I admit it, I'm keeping myself safe with that one, avoiding risks.

I'd say those points are closer to the introverted focus.

However, when I see a group's direction pointlessly wandering or descending into polarized bickering, my frustration level can and has, risen to the point where I will assert, with pointed finger and raised voice etc, the blatant logic and obvious solution to whatever issue is at hand.

Self observation discloses no pleasure at this......I can FEEL the unpleasant endocrine juices in my system afterwards. The real, extrovert type leader LIKES the adrenaline rush.....I don't.

 

[constant stranger]

Margaret Thatcher for one, admitted that she LOVED the rough and tumble debates in their House of Commons.

Al Sharpton is another one who probably enjoys confrontation.

And someone compelled to speak primarily to voice their convictions? Joan Baez comes to mind.

 

[PaulaW]

I'd be interested for others to share their "lists."

Extroverted qualities:
I'm not a shut-in
I can stand up to anything and anyone if I need to

Introverted qualites:
I thrive on quiet
I enjoy my own company
Hate chit chat or being with people who feel the need to fill the quiet with mindless commentary
Most hobbies are one person oriented

 

[Solivagant]

I see extroversion and introversion as a continuum, with extremes of the two dispositions at either end and a person's individual propensity placing somewhere in between.

Ditto. I view many things that way.

 

[SeaBee]

I am definitely Introverted :

More extroverted qualities:

I like to be in constant communication with others (preferably people I like, who get me)
I tend to be a leader or coordinator in social situations

More Introverted qualities:

I cannot stand small talk, superficiality, vacuous people and do not suffer fools gladly
I generally prefer to work alone, for the most part I think collaboration kills inspiration
It can sometimes take me a while to warm up to people/situations
I like to start out getting to know people on a serious level before I am silly with them
I'm generally pretty self conscious stemming from childhood bullying issues

 

[bodeilla]

I guess I'm mainly introverted. I enjoy gaming and I don't mind being alone. I like when I have people to talk to online, over the phone or in person. Sometimes, I just like being with my cat. It really depends on my mood. I avoid crowds. I grocery shop early in the morning when no one is around and I buy everything else online. I spend some time with family. I have only one IRL friend. She and I mainly text one another. She's a very busy person and the only interest we share is walking. And I prefer to work alone.

 

[Regumika]

I think there might be a little bit of a misunderstanding in the terms introvert/extrovert. Being an introvert doesn't mean you stay inside, and being an extrovert doesn't mean you always go out. Extroverts can game (usually with a lot of people), introverts can game (usually by themselves, among a lot of people).

http://g.fastcompany.net/multisite_...nline-i-how-to-interact-with-an-introvert.jpg

 

[RainbowWalker]

It's really an interesting list that you shared with us, Exasperated. Spontaneously, I would agree to what people have said so far about it being a kind of "continuum" where there can be many things which, at a first glance, can even contradict each other. But we are humans and therefore ambivalent beings, I would say. We are not only all different but even the very same person can be different at different times a day. This is at least my personal experience, including with myself. Sometimes our introverted and extroverted qualities can also depend on what people expect from us in a certain situation to which we try to adapt.
It's a very interesting topic to talk about for sure.