the party

[sallekhana]

the music blares from a cheap hotel room
somewhere in New York state
in the center of the room
lays a boy at the age
of 18 who is drunk
and worth death.
not much from
where he
came.

he says that he's dying and nobody,
nobody in that room knows but
him. he sees all the people
stepping over his body
and going about their
drinking and talking,
not worrying about
why he is crying
on the floor.

he's so drunk he cant feel his legs
nor can he feel his brain, which
is a very good thing cause
lately his brain has
caused more pain
than any other
part of his
body.

"if she could see me now!
if she could hold me!
she would, she would
tell me that she loves
me! she loves me!!"

save your heart!
save your heart for someone!

he wakes up the next morning in
an empty hotel room surrounded
by empty bottles of alcohol
and empty packs of
cigarettes.

after a few moments he realizes
he's been alone all night.

Save your heart for someone
who cares!

 

[jlonely]

props.

 

[sallekhana]

this is about my trip to NYC last year with my fam. but nyc is not in ny state. i felt out of place there in new york city because i was with my family in a very small room. the hotel was actually very expencive and in timesquare but it was cheap to me because i hated being in there. i stayed in timesquare as much as i could. the whole idea of a party is because it was back when i was contimplating confessing my lies. alot of voices telling me different things. "dont do it" "do it" ya know. the music was my ipod blaring in my ears to drowned out the situation and the voices. me being drunk is actually me wanting to forget it all. the hotel room can also be my mind. nobody in that room knew i was dying except myself. i didn't realize how much i was hurting because of the lying. all the people stepping over me was me trying to just look past the lies. um..."she" is depression. thats all i will say about that. if you understand great, if not just keep trying lol. when i woke up and realized i had to tell, my mind was empty and clear for the first time in years. save my heart for someone who cared. i only came true to the people who actually cared about me. me being alone all night is that no matter what happened i was gonna end up alone. thats why i never wanted to tell my friends because i knew ppl would hate me and leave me for it. but then i realized eventually everyone was going to leave me alone sometime. it is also about my trip to NY state now. the party being voices and "she" being sarah my friend who passed away. also the hotel room is the forum. nobody, nobody here knows how bad it is. trust me. and thats not a good thing but its not a bad thing. somethings are best left unknown. besides. i'm saving my heart and the truth.