The reasons I am the way I am.

[Lbroughton1]

My name is Logan Broughton. I have self esteem issues. I feel like I should be one of those kids who no body talks to or pays any attention to. My whole childhood with my ex step mom was terrible. She beat me a lot. Ever since I could remember I got beat on a regular basis. She called me stupid, worthless, and many other belittling insults. To this day those words run through my head, but not in her voice, instead, I hear my self saying it. Saying it about myself. Every little thing I do wrong I feel bad for and call myself what she called me. Because she made it seem so true. She beat me and told me if I said anything or talked about it, I wouldn't like what she was gonna do. So as a nieve 6 year old, I didn't say anything. I thought I'd get in trouble. To this day, i have trouble speaking about my problems, to any one. I'm trying to fix myself though, and I think it's kind of working. It's so hard to think that what she told me wasn't true because its all I know. That's what she taught me about myself, that I'm stupid and worthless. I have friends, and I'm in the normal social cliche. Honestly, my looks saved me. I'm not what girls would call "ugly". And I'm thankful that I have that for myself. I just needed to get this all out, it's to hard right now to tell my dad. But if anyone is experiencing anything like this, stay strong. Your not stupid, and your not worthless. You are amazing, everyone is.

 

[9006]

Hello

Sorry to hear about what you've been through, it's the worst thing going through abuse when you're young, it effects your life in many ways when you're older mentally. But you recognise what's happening and your trying to change, so that's good. Like you say it's not something that just changes, like any habit or way of thinking it's difficult, takes time and practice, but as far as I can tell you're doing well so congratulations to you.

It's also good that you accept what you have (your looks), and that's not being big headed, I think it's great you can appreciate what you have.

And welcome to the forum!

 

[Veruca]

Hello there,

So sorry that you had to experience that kind of abuse as a child, no one should go through that. Like Mike said above, that kind of past definitely impacts one's future, but you seem to be very self aware when it comes to all this and with time, I think it will help heal wounds.

I hope you like it here, we try to be supportive of each other. If you ever need to talk to someone, don't hesitate to reach out

Hugs

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hi Logan, welcome to the forum.

First of all, *hugs*.

You've endured so much in your past, I'm really glad you can release it out now. This place is a good place for that and I'm definitely sure you'll meet many awesome people here.

 

[fox]

(Hug) for you, Logan. It is very brave you told about it here. No child should be forced to live that kind of thing... and no adult suffer of effects of it.

That voice in your head that is calling you worthless and stupid and so on, I know how hard it is to get rid of it... I have one of those too and it calls me much the same things very often. Even if it sounds your own voice at this point, try to imagine it instead of you or your step-"mother", that it is some nasty, mean little person separate of you that is poking you and saying it and it is a nasty, mean little person because it does that to lots of people and just trying to make them feel bad. If you can imagine it this way, it is a little more easy to ignore mean things it is saying, is what i find.

It sounds like you already are making progress with it too, and that is great. Best of luck to you to continue overcome it

 

[Lbroughton1]

Thank you, all of you. Thank you so much

 

[Sahid Brown]

Sorry for what happened to you man but don't let the past make your future but you have been abused by your ex-mother for a long time and I understand that it is hard to overcome habits like that. But for now try to focus on what you have and don't be afraid to use them to your advantage.

 

[Lbroughton1]

Sorry for what happened to you man but don't let the past make your future but you have been abused by your ex-mother for a long time and I understand that it is hard to overcome habits like that. But for now try to focus on what you have and don't be afraid to use them to your advantage.

Thank you, that really helps a lot