I rant about the same thing over and over again in the countless post that I have made with very little change in between, enough to bother some people to the point that they think I'm all a big joke. Every response is the same asking me why don't I do something about it or things will change, love come when you least expect it. Maybe I get other answer like: I know what it like Chris, I use to be there myself", and sometime I get answer like stop sitting around on your ass and do something about it, and then there are other who "think" they are in the same shoe as me and seem pretty hopeless as well.
So why do I keep posting the same thing over and over again? Why do I constantly never leave my room, why don't I just move somewhere else, why don't I ask girl out, why can't I make any friends, why do I even go online?
Yes I sit on my butt pretty much all day long with the drape close and my door lock. I haven't gone out in three day, and it pissing off my parents. When I look at life, it is very gray, there is no place I really belong, and my room is my only safe haven. Well you can call me weak or a coward or whatever you have in mind when you read my post, but I have been to many states, I have been on the road on and off, I have even seen the nation capital, and all the grand monuments that it hold, yet no matter where I go tears of loneliness drip down my eye. I have been to the most crowded place in the U.S, New York City, and I have been at town square swarming with thousand of people, but like home, I have felt lonely.
I am sick emotionally, mentally, socially, and physically. I have no place to go, I could go watch a movie, I could go bowling, I could go to a restaurant, but who want to go alone anyway? I could get out more, I could play around in the park, I could walk around in my neighborhood, of course unless I want to risk injury or even death, I would rather not. It is already awful living in the suppose safest country on earth only then having to deal with crime, violent, racist dick, and seeing that a few time a month, there are many cops car in front of the house, or usually see police helicopter flying over with their search light. I could walk out today but it is possible I could get shot. But hey, I could move, if only I had the money, I could ask a girl out, if only I wasn't anxiety stricken, I could make friends, if only I have a friendly first impression, I could this and I could that, but I could also suffer in the process as well.
So why do I keep posting the same thing over and over again? Why do I constantly never leave my room, why don't I just move somewhere else, why don't I ask girl out, why can't I make any friends, why do I even go online?
Yes I sit on my butt pretty much all day long with the drape close and my door lock. I haven't gone out in three day, and it pissing off my parents. When I look at life, it is very gray, there is no place I really belong, and my room is my only safe haven. Well you can call me weak or a coward or whatever you have in mind when you read my post, but I have been to many states, I have been on the road on and off, I have even seen the nation capital, and all the grand monuments that it hold, yet no matter where I go tears of loneliness drip down my eye. I have been to the most crowded place in the U.S, New York City, and I have been at town square swarming with thousand of people, but like home, I have felt lonely.
I am sick emotionally, mentally, socially, and physically. I have no place to go, I could go watch a movie, I could go bowling, I could go to a restaurant, but who want to go alone anyway? I could get out more, I could play around in the park, I could walk around in my neighborhood, of course unless I want to risk injury or even death, I would rather not. It is already awful living in the suppose safest country on earth only then having to deal with crime, violent, racist dick, and seeing that a few time a month, there are many cops car in front of the house, or usually see police helicopter flying over with their search light. I could walk out today but it is possible I could get shot. But hey, I could move, if only I had the money, I could ask a girl out, if only I wasn't anxiety stricken, I could make friends, if only I have a friendly first impression, I could this and I could that, but I could also suffer in the process as well.